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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be pissed off with these two women...

140 replies

teanntoastinbed · 26/05/2023 22:49

I was out for an early dinner in a local restaurant with my toddler. We were sitting in the garden, when two women and their young children came In. As is normal there was a little bit of chit chat and interaction.

There was something slightly awkward and odd about them but I couldn't put my finger on it. One of the women was more 'friendly' than the other and was asking a lot of questions... I'm fairly sociable so ended up disclosing I was a single mother and worked full time. I then asked if they were sisters, but apparently they were friends who had met through church. The penny only dropped after one of them asked me if I had a faith and I said I was CofE and then she started to explain their religion to me and how their church didn't allow women to wear trousers and would I consider a change of faith. I was brutally honest and said I had very liberal views and would never contemplate a faith that didn't share my liberal views or persecuted people because of their sexuality or lifestyle choices.

One of the ladies then continued to talk about homosexuality being sinful and how only god can save you and it is only god who can allow you into heaven! Luckily the waitress came over with the bill and I said my awkward goodbye and left. However, now I've had time to think about it I am really pissed off with these two blatant Jehovah's Witnesses, who were basically only chatting to me to brainwash me jnto their way of thinking. I am in no way vulnerable or susceptible to people like this, but many are. I hate the fact that they only started talking to me because they obviously wanted to bring the conversation round to religion! I'm well aware my opinion sounds anything but liberal, and I'm all for a chat about religion but not one that is forced down my throat in a restaurant I'm paying money to eat in and with people speaking in derogatory terms about marginalised groups! Phew... rant over!

OP posts:
AnorLondo · 28/05/2023 13:31

JudgeRudy · 28/05/2023 10:31

I agree that she probably was approached with as a potential convert...and I'm OK with that. By law (England) its not illegal to express these views so this would not be classed as hate crime. It is illegal to harrass or cause a breach of the peace. Targeted abuse or 'inequality' eg standing outside a gay club and chanting "Go to hell!" Would be a hate crime.

There's a line, and l believe these women were close to crossing it, but not quite. As OP said, she was saved by the bill before this potentially became harassment

Just because it's not illegal doesn't mean its not fucking awful.

Thepossibility · 28/05/2023 21:46

My SIL is some weird culty branch of Christian. DH family went to a regular church when they were kids, SIL met her DH and then they went very... interesting.
I went to an event at their church for one of their children and they tried to pray someone back to life. She now has 15 kids and educates none because God will take care of them. Birth control is wrong. Absolute fury directed at gay people.
This is my long winded way of saying they don't have to be JW.
I would guess that they felt sorry for you because you said you're a single mum and were trying to “save" you.

Butchyrestingface · 28/05/2023 21:51

I'm lapsed Catholic but was raised in a religious home and I would have bible-thumped them into oblivion with chapter, verse, and quotation. I did that with the Seventh Day Adventists who came knocking once and they ran away when I get to get more lemonade.

okay, I may have made that last bit up.

BigMandsTattooPortfolio · 28/05/2023 22:20

If they start on about homosexuality you can always point out that they’re wearing garments made from mixed fibres, which is strictly prohibited in the book of Leviticus.

Ilovecleaning · 29/05/2023 00:05

I understand why you’re pissed off but you’ll just have to put it down to experience. There are a lot of nutcases out there.

Anthillveggie · 29/05/2023 22:12

BigMandsTattooPortfolio · 28/05/2023 22:20

If they start on about homosexuality you can always point out that they’re wearing garments made from mixed fibres, which is strictly prohibited in the book of Leviticus.

Bigoted funding types don't usually care that they're hypocrites IME.

lysozyme · 03/06/2023 16:26

I wonder how many people they approach a day, to fling homophobic abuse at.

Crunchymum · 03/06/2023 16:51

Well they didn't do a very good job of recruiting you when you don't even know what religion they actually practice 😂

IncessantNameChanger · 03/06/2023 17:01

Haywirecity · 27/05/2023 04:34

I think most people who initiate a conversation with a stranger generally have an agenda.

I don't think that's true at all. I've chatted with loads of people I don't know. And I know friends and family members have too.

Me either! I don't have any agenda when talking to strangers. I have a partner, I am lucky I also a few very good friends and even more supportive friends. I don't expect to have lasting or material outcomes from sharing a few sentences in passing. It's literally just words.

I talked to two strangers in London in the week the Queen died and both conversations meant a lot to me at the time. I will never see those people again. No way would I suspect them of selfish gain. They was just passing time sharing a moment in time

carbonarya · 03/06/2023 17:59

JudgeRudy · 27/05/2023 15:34

It's not the same no, but it's equally intrusive. OP continued to engage in conversation. I don't forvone moment think 2 strangers went over and just announced that guys should burn in hell. I'm all for freedom of expression but the price of that freedom is occasionally people will express opinions we disagree with. If you don't wish to engage, whatever the topic, just make it clear.

BTW I believe a lot of people who are 'against' homosexuality aren't against homosexuals as such so not sure it's hateful, though I do acknowledge that sometimes it very much is.

If you are against homosexuality you are against homosexuals.

EsmeSusanOgg · 03/06/2023 18:10

Lilyhatesjaz · 26/05/2023 23:22

I don't think they were JW I know several and the women often wear trousers. I worked with a woman who was a JW and she never pushed her religion on any of us.
I also know some Plymouth brethren people and they tend to keep very much to themselves rather than looking for converts, they also always wear headscarves.

Depends on the Plymouth Brethren. There is open Brethren (think happy-clappy meets bible belt US conservative evangelical) or closwd brethren (head scarves, only marry other brethren, very trad-wife types).

Source: Went to an open PB chapel growing up (very much an atheist as a consequence).

ALongHardWinter · 03/06/2023 18:30

Oh bloody hell! They never miss an opportunity to try and 'convert' someone do they?

ALongHardWinter · 05/06/2023 02:19

speakout · 27/05/2023 16:32

I feel sorry for these young Mormon Missionaries.

I have had many of them visit in the past few years, made them food and drinks ( they all seem to love hot chocolate), mostly young men, sometimes women.

The Missionaries are often very young 18/19 years old, and have had a lifetime of heavy indoctrination.
They carry burdens of their family expectations.
Some thrive, but many are utterly miserable.
They move around every 6 weeks or so to a new area, different missionaries, different churches.
No opportunity to make real friendship bonds during their year or 18 months because they move around so much.
Their lives are very controlled. They don't have their own cash or access to money. They are not allowed to travel around, even on days off they have to keep within their patch.
They can't watch TV or listen to radio, read a newspaper use internet or use a smart phone.
They are forced to share a bedroom room with their companion, ( to limit unholy prctices- ie masturbation) and only have privacy in the toilet or shower.
It is only just recently that the missionaries have been allowed to phone home once a week- before that it was twice a year.

They have to rise at 6.30am, lights out at 10.30pm.

Depression is common, but the local church - the "chapter" will discourage missionaries from seeking medical help for mental health issues- which are seen as a disorder of the spirit, they are advised to pray instead.

It is a horribly controlling church as many are within religion.

Blimey. That sounds more like a cult than a religion.

poweredbysteam · 05/06/2023 18:27

ALongHardWinter · 05/06/2023 02:19

Blimey. That sounds more like a cult than a religion.

Can't it be both?

Notamum12345577 · 11/06/2023 19:55

ALongHardWinter · 05/06/2023 02:19

Blimey. That sounds more like a cult than a religion.

Mormonism is considered a cult in most mainstream/evangelical churches

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