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Original poster

To be pissed off with these two women...

140 replies

teanntoastinbed · 26/05/2023 22:49

I was out for an early dinner in a local restaurant with my toddler. We were sitting in the garden, when two women and their young children came In. As is normal there was a little bit of chit chat and interaction.

There was something slightly awkward and odd about them but I couldn't put my finger on it. One of the women was more 'friendly' than the other and was asking a lot of questions... I'm fairly sociable so ended up disclosing I was a single mother and worked full time. I then asked if they were sisters, but apparently they were friends who had met through church. The penny only dropped after one of them asked me if I had a faith and I said I was CofE and then she started to explain their religion to me and how their church didn't allow women to wear trousers and would I consider a change of faith. I was brutally honest and said I had very liberal views and would never contemplate a faith that didn't share my liberal views or persecuted people because of their sexuality or lifestyle choices.

One of the ladies then continued to talk about homosexuality being sinful and how only god can save you and it is only god who can allow you into heaven! Luckily the waitress came over with the bill and I said my awkward goodbye and left. However, now I've had time to think about it I am really pissed off with these two blatant Jehovah's Witnesses, who were basically only chatting to me to brainwash me jnto their way of thinking. I am in no way vulnerable or susceptible to people like this, but many are. I hate the fact that they only started talking to me because they obviously wanted to bring the conversation round to religion! I'm well aware my opinion sounds anything but liberal, and I'm all for a chat about religion but not one that is forced down my throat in a restaurant I'm paying money to eat in and with people speaking in derogatory terms about marginalised groups! Phew... rant over!

OP posts:
Reusable · 27/05/2023 09:22

They shouldn’t have accosted you in that way. Not cool.

We have a fair few JW where I live who stand on the streets. I have never been approached. I don’t give them eye contact tbh. They don’t seem pushy & tend to just stand around chatting to one another.

On another note, I seem to attract other strangers who like to talk a lot. I usually say a friendly hello, then suddenly, before I know it, they are telling me their life story😵‍💫

justanothernamechangemonday · 27/05/2023 09:24

JW's can wear trousers when they're "off duty". Skirts or dresses when they're preaching.

Chickenkeev · 27/05/2023 09:31

CoreyTaylorsSoggyTshirt · 27/05/2023 08:54

I was hounded by an evelangical group where I live after my son died.

When his funeral details were announced in the paper they decided I was condemning him to hell by having my beautiful boy cremated and they didn't hold back.

When they showed up on my doorstep the 3rd or 4th time I let slip he was an organ donor and it got worse. The things these people were saying under the pretence they are good people was unforgivable.

The police couldn't do much as it was different people every time, and the church just said the people were acting on their own will, not for the church.

It was fucking horrendous.

If there is a hell then it's safe to say these intolerant, homophobic, nasty bastards, who think they are above everyone due to their religion will be going there, and not us normal folk.

That's truly horrific. I'm sorry for your loss x

Yetisrus · 27/05/2023 09:54

Allthingsbrightandbeautifulx · 27/05/2023 08:46

I have some close family that are JW, they definitely wear trousers and don’t push their religion on us - but do when they they go door knocking 🙄
I think Mormon, Pentecostal and other religions don’t allow women to wear trousers. I had an encounter with one years ago at work, she was a customer in my clothing store. Was looking for a wedding outfit and stated it must be a skirt or dress as her religion didn’t allow her to wear trousers. Then invited me to her church which I politely declined.

I remember meeting a Mormon many years ago whilst out clubbing, I can't remember how or why he mentioned it (I think I offered him something he couldn't have), he was actually really pleasant and very good looking, I spent a fair bit of time chatting to him(When he went to go he tried to kiss me so he obviously wasn't a strict one😂🙈). Shame about the beliefs.

LadyEloise1 · 27/05/2023 10:09

"..............any rule about women, dress, hair, hats, submission to husband etc shows a very petty deity who's regretting making women equal to men."

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 @Treaclemine
Flowers
Brilliant

LuvSmallDogs · 27/05/2023 10:16

At the estate we used to live on, the school bus for the local Primary would stop by the pavement at the car park, so all the parents and kids would gather to wait with the kids chatting and playing.

There was this weird religious family who walked past the estate and from time to time would give cute looking religious stuff to the kids! For instance, around Valentine's day, little cards covered in hearts, all about saving your love for Jesus, around Halloween pumpkins and "the real treat is Jesus' love".

We just let them leave and took the cards off the kids and told them it was nonsense. Couldn't really get confrontational, they had their own young kids with them, who we felt bad for.

golddustwomen · 27/05/2023 10:17

They sound like my in laws Grin

Sartre · 27/05/2023 10:21

JW have to be the worst of any religion. Most
religious folk keep their beliefs to themselves but JW literally have to spread the word and try to convert people as part of their faith. I had lots of arguments with them as a teenager when they tried to drag my friends and I in by approaching us like they were our best friends and inviting us to parties. They always told me I’d burn in hell and that they felt sorry for me, that was their only argument.

I had a couple of friends raised JW, both have now been cast out by the religion and their families because they’re gay.

UWhatNow · 27/05/2023 10:21

I don’t really see what the big deal is… you have a casual chat with strangers in some dead time and you didn’t agree with their views... that’s going to happen in life. You handled it. No one died. Move on. 🤷🏻‍♀️

LindyLou2020 · 27/05/2023 10:22

I've often wondered, (because a couple of JWs came to my door a few weeks ago), if their religion is that amazing, why do they have to try to press-gang people into joining them?
As an aside, my mother was very prone to malapropisms, and referred to JWs as Jovial Witnesses........

(I appreciate that the people whom OP met may or may not have been JWs)

Willowcat77 · 27/05/2023 10:27

@Sartre But JWs don't actually believe in literal Hell, just death followed by nothing. They are annoying though, and homophobic.

stayathomer · 27/05/2023 10:28

I’m religious but when people start talking about religion in any way I end the conversation. People who talk about it are generally homophobic or bigoted or just horrible!! Sorry you got stuck talking to them

polkadotdalmation · 27/05/2023 10:29

Sounds more like some weird cult thing.

Notamum12345577 · 27/05/2023 10:29

volleyballing · 27/05/2023 08:03

Not Jehovah’s Witnesses. Maybe a local evangelical Church. Quite a few semi independent ones around.

I’m a member of a non denominational evangelical church. Never heard of an evangelical church not allowing women to ears trousers!

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 27/05/2023 10:30

YANBU to find it annoying. As an atheist, I hate people trying to push their religion on me, whatever that religion is.

However, I do sort of see why they do it. If they genuinely believe that I'm going to hell, or whatever other awful fate they might believe awaits me, then they presumably think that they're doing me a favour by trying to "save" me. Within their own internal logic, they are doing a good thing.

It's just painfully arrogant to believe that you have all the answers and everyone else is somehow blind to the truth.

Tidsleytiddy · 27/05/2023 10:31

Wouldn’t give it another thought. Let em crack on

neilyoungismyhero · 27/05/2023 10:34

I think I would have politely told them I was out for a relaxing meal with my child and wasn't interested in their religious shite...er...beliefs...

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 27/05/2023 10:38

I usually just say something along the lines that I appreciate that they're trying to help but I'm comfortable with my own beliefs and don't want to get into a discussion of them.

Tulip2478 · 27/05/2023 10:47

Sartre · 27/05/2023 10:21

JW have to be the worst of any religion. Most
religious folk keep their beliefs to themselves but JW literally have to spread the word and try to convert people as part of their faith. I had lots of arguments with them as a teenager when they tried to drag my friends and I in by approaching us like they were our best friends and inviting us to parties. They always told me I’d burn in hell and that they felt sorry for me, that was their only argument.

I had a couple of friends raised JW, both have now been cast out by the religion and their families because they’re gay.

I was raised a JW and was one for the first 20 or so years of my life. I'm surprised they said you would burn in hell as they don't actually believe in hell as a firey place but basically just that hell means death with no chance of resurrection.
They make a big deal about this so not sure why they said that to you that seems really odd.
These don't sound like JW's either OP.

JudgeRudy · 27/05/2023 11:31

OrderOfTheKookaburra · 27/05/2023 04:49

My agenda when chatting to a stranger is to pass the time to day in a pleasant way. Not shanghai them into a faith, charity donations, volunteering etc.

Show quote history

Yes, as I said we all have different agendas and probably feel we're being sensitive to the other person. It's a risk though to interact as almost any conversation can lead to awkwardness. Your 'chatting to pass the time' may be viewed as pleasant to you, but intrusive/rude/boring/irritating to the recipient. People don't generally tell others to go away so they interact in a 'normal' way and probably smile.
I think the takeaway here isn't just about were they being unreasonable (l don't think they were especially), it's about assertiveness and how to 'get out of' the situation. Of course if OP asks them to stop and they continue, that's harassment.

Lidlpopdrinker · 27/05/2023 11:36

‘Piss off’ is a perfectly acceptable response in cases such as these.

JudgeRudy · 27/05/2023 11:36

UWhatNow · 27/05/2023 10:21

I don’t really see what the big deal is… you have a casual chat with strangers in some dead time and you didn’t agree with their views... that’s going to happen in life. You handled it. No one died. Move on. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yes, seems no more rude/intrusive/inappropriate than some random granny asking how old the children were, a bloke trying to chat you up, or the woman at Tesco check out telling you she loves eggs but they 'set her off' (happened 2 days ago). These things happen. I'd hate to be in a world where people were frightened to talk to each other.

Arewehumanorarewecupboards · 27/05/2023 11:40

Surely you would just say that you are not interested.

I’m not religious and believe that people can believe whatever they want. I’m interested in the beliefs of others but not two complete strangers in a restaurant.

Comedycook · 27/05/2023 12:10

JudgeRudy · 27/05/2023 11:36

Yes, seems no more rude/intrusive/inappropriate than some random granny asking how old the children were, a bloke trying to chat you up, or the woman at Tesco check out telling you she loves eggs but they 'set her off' (happened 2 days ago). These things happen. I'd hate to be in a world where people were frightened to talk to each other.

Show quote history

It is much ruder and intrusive to try to change someone's fundamental belief system than it is to pass the time of day at a supermarket checkout

Original poster
teanntoastinbed · 27/05/2023 12:54

Thanks for the messages of solidarity! I think people that are saying I should have been more assertive are missing the point.I pushed back on their homophobic comments... it wasn't just general chit chat it was one woman persistently pushing back when I said I was liberal person who believed everyone has a right to live how they choose and then she went into a rant about how 'homosexuals' are sinners and will be damned to hell! To me, when someone speaks like that to stranger in public who has just said they are fully supportive of same sex relationships that's not general chit chat.... that is someone with a pretty nasty agenda spreading hate speech!

OP posts:
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