To think I shouldn't have to work a second job to make ends meet

[drusillabee]

I am a teacher working 4 days.

DH has a clinical role in NHS.

Our household income is about 80k. Pretty decent until you factor in rising costs of everything plus childcare.

We have 2 DC under 3 and omg nursery costs are so expensive. I'm on MAT leave for another month and I'm having to go back sooner than we anticipated due to rising costs and basically having run out of money since I won't be getting any SMP.

I just am so sad that I've worked since I was 16, essentially paying into the system for the last 10 years and feeling like I have nothing to show for it.

I've worked my bloody arse off in inner city schools with kids that come from awful backgrounds to help them get out of the cycle of benefits they were born into. The government haven't paid me (or other public sector workers) a penny extra for going above and beyond every single fucking day.

And when we do need a little helping hand, we get jack shit. Nurses got a clap. Teachers got a pay rise but more workload to go along with it.

And then when women go on MAT leave we're given hardly anything to bloody survive that forces to return to work after 6 months slogging for the government that are relying on basically free labour.

My 2 year old asked me to buy her an ice cream today and I'm so grateful that I managed to distract her with the snacks I brought from home because I have £6 left in my bank account till Tuesday.

I go back to work in a week. My youngest daughter won't even be 9 months. She refused a bottle and is exclusively breastfed. She doesn't even take expressed milk from a cup. My heart is breaking at thinking how she's going to go a whole day without me.

I can't even do anything else that I can leave teaching for more flexible hours and better pay. Tbh I love teaching, I just hate that I have to return so soon on a shit salary for the job that I do.

So on top of that, I'm having to look for a weekend job so we can do more than just pay the bills.

Also you said you had £6 left in your bank account. Are your accounts joint? What does your husband have in his?

I completely understand how unfair it feels to be working hard yet struggling to keep your heads above water.

But I also agree with pp that you need to count your blessings too, and in fact it's better for your own mental health to try to focus on the positives. I am insanely jealous of anyone who gets 6 months off with their child! There's a massive difference between leaving a child at 12 weeks which so many of us had to do when paid maternity leave only lasted that long, and getting twice as long and leaving a 6 month old. You also have the 30 free hours approaching soon which will make a massive difference- again, this is something I'd have given my right arm for.

You and your dh are homeowners; you have good jobs. In the longer term, staying in teaching rather than giving up work is the best thing you could possibly do as you're keeping your pension payments up and securing a better future for yourselves.

It really is short term pain for long term gain, and I know that can feel shit but honestly, try to focus on the positives and it won't be long before you're through this tough part

Our household income is closer to £4300 a month, not £5000.

£4500 when he picks up extra shifts on weekends.

with an joint income of around £5k and (being generous) outgoings of £3.5k it looks like the issue is budgeting rather than it being unaffordable as such. Also putting away £500 is a choice.

If you have a mortgage and a house full of furniture you do have something to show for all your years working - you’ve got on the property ladder, and you’ll have a better pension pot than most as a teacher.

These years of paying childcare are hard, but at £80k for a household you should get 30 hours free childcare for the 3 year old.

@watermeloncougar you're right, thank you for reminding me to count our blessings.

We are very lucky to own our home and be able to afford to heat it and put food on the table.

I guess we were used to not having to live so frugally that now that we have to watch every penny, it's a difficult transition.

ok, so still £1000 a month after all your main expenses. I assume you are contributing to pensions quite generously if you are only taking home £4.3 from a joint income of £80k.

@Nordicrain so what are we supposed to do on a rainy day?

What if the roof falls apart or the boiler stops working or god forbid one of us gets into an accident and has to stop working?

Do we just not save for instances where your life can change in the blink of an eye?

Are you still saving?

I am not sure where the rest of your money is going- it seems like more than the little extras of soft play occasionally. I would go through your statements for the last 3 months and really get an idea of what these little extras are.

A combined income of 80k is a fair amount.

You chose to have 2 kids close together. That is going to cost a lot in childcare or wage sacrifice.

You'll be entitled to cb as well.

Most public sector roles are under paid but im not sure you could class yourself as poor

It really is the situation for so many with small children

Free hours have gone up since our first dc.

I don’t see the point in making it about public sector as it’s something many parents get through

This seems a bit dramatic

Not sure what working or not has to do with motherhood

I mean to have that much left over and still have savings with 2 under 3 is actually amazing. I would suggest keeping a closer eye on spends. Supermarket rather than designer when DC are little. I think your biggest problem is wanting it all now, it is a culture shock having little DC bleeding your money. 6 years on I still miss the financially carefree lifestyle we had pre DC, I just remind myself one day they will work and hopefully not rely too heavily on us 🤣 one day...

Well from what you've said, no you don't have to take a 2nd job to make ends meet...AT ALL.

You should have PLENTY of money leftover, so should not need to be cutting down on stuff. You will be frittering away a shedload of money. I'd recommend posting a statement of affairs on the money saving expert websites forums.

What's the difference in cost between nursery and using a childminder?

Agree that it's almost certainly a budgeting issue on both the 'I'm a teacher and I'm running out of money' threads on the go at the moment.

It's likely to be a symptom of the CoL crisis eroding people's disposable incomes significantly, so people who've been able to spend fairly freely have started running out of money, as illustrated by:

If your disposable income was £600 pm and your mortgage goes up £300 pm, your utilities go up £100 pm and your food goes up £150 pm, but you only get a £100 pm pay rise, your £600 disposable income has reduced to £150, so really really noticeable.

Obviously there are people who can't even afford the basics, and there are also people who can spend freely without thinking, but for the majority in the middle, a huge difference can be made by simply being aware of what you spend and make sure you get the most for your money.

So don't have a £40 pm phone contract, go SIM only for £10 a month or less.

Shop in cheaper supermarkets, or only buy non perishables on offer. Never pay brands at full price for things you buy regularly like cleaning products, toiletries, soup, beans, ketchup etc. If you buy one tin of beans a week, you could buy a tin of Heinz at £1.20, or you could get a 4 pack monthly or own brand for less than half the price per tin. Do that a few times and you could easily save £100+ pm on groceries without buying any less.

Don't get all the streaming subscriptions at the same time, few people will spend enough time watching Netflix and Disney and Prime etc etc. So get one for a few months, watch things you want, then cancel it and swap to another one.

Make cafe visits at attractions the exception rather than the rule. It's almost always overpriced poor quality food at the end of a long queue. So why would you?

A few tricks like that can really boost your disposable income and make a huge difference to a lot of people.

Ah ok. So when you say struggling to make ends meet, you do have money which you have chosen to put into savings (very important I agree). I don't think this means you are struggling to make ends meet though, if you don't have money for food at the end of the month you have money sat in savings available so you won't starve. Not everyone can afford to save £500 a month. I get that that level of saving is what you are used to but if you are struggling to make ends meet you might have to adjust your savings target.

So the op is a hime owner with significant savings and a pension. Can afford 2 in childcare and thinks they're hard done by?

🙄

I’m surprised your nursery costs are so expensive at this stage. Did you have the oldest one in nursery a lot whilst you’ve been off for the last year on maternity leave? If so, that’s quite a luxury I would say. I’m not having a dig, but I kept my 3 year old in nursery for two mornings a week, to ensure his place but then he was home with me and the newborn for the rest of that year to keep costs down. But as others have said, the years when you have two children in nursery, it’s crippling.

The system is crap for women both on maternity leave and afterwards during those early years. The government do not care and unfortunately to our own demise, society does not place any value on caring or child rearing roles. Until that changes, things will continue to be shit for women and young families.

If I was in your situation I would leave teaching. No one will give you a medal for doing a public service on shit pay. The government won’t even pay you a good wage. The only solution is to vote with your feet. It’s sad but you have a young family and the state of the public sector is the fault of the government and those that repeatedly vote Tory. Don’t be a martyr at the expense of your families’ quality of life. The situation needs to change for healthcare and education and I really don’t think it will until the services reach rock bottom and people might realise how dire it is really. That’s what I hope for but I realise how grim that is. I hope people will vote very carefully at the next GA and adopt a less selfish mindset when it comes to politics. This is the result of undervaluing our public sector and the government not prioritising it is absolutely a choice they have made. Good luck to you op xxx

How much do you have in savings? What insurance do you have? Another benefit of working in the public sector is sick pay entitlement, which means that the chance of running out of money because you can't work due to illness is much reduced.

Don't over insure, either by policies or large savings balances, when it's not needed.

Of course, an emergency fund is needed, but in a way, you have an emergency going on right now, in that your disposable income is reduced due to high childcare costs. So if you can get through the next couple of years without getting into debt, you're doing well.

Don't beat yourself up because you can't add to savings right now. Concentrate your efforts on getting on top of your budget. A little effort doing that could bring in a bigger surplus than working more hours to keep plugging the gap week in week out.

So your take home is around £4300 and your outgoings are around £3300…..I don’t get it…

@babyproblems if OP leaves teaching and gets a different job she’ll probably have to pay for year round childcare. Including school holidays in a few years.

I actually think something needs to be done in paying support staff in school more first. If teachers wages do goes up it keeps them all at around minimum wage as money only stretches so far.

You're actually being quite obtuse now. You still have £1200 for 'the little things'. That is plenty for savings for a rainy day or your boiler breaking. How much do you think is reasonable to have spare after all your expenses when you don't work full time and you have 2 children under 2 in full time nursery?

Based on your income and outgoings posted, I don't think you do actually need to work a second job. You probably just need to sit down and reassess. I know people in your region on less who manage. The loan payments may not be helping you (though you still have excess after paying them) so if you do have savings perhaps look to pay off as much of the loans as you can. It's pointless paying interest unnecessarily. It makes sense if you need the savings for something in the immediacy/only have enough saved for emergency needs, or even if you're using the excess to invest and make more than the interest on the loan. Otherwise, it doesn't.