To think I shouldn't have to work a second job to make ends meet

[drusillabee]

I am a teacher working 4 days.

DH has a clinical role in NHS.

Our household income is about 80k. Pretty decent until you factor in rising costs of everything plus childcare.

We have 2 DC under 3 and omg nursery costs are so expensive. I'm on MAT leave for another month and I'm having to go back sooner than we anticipated due to rising costs and basically having run out of money since I won't be getting any SMP.

I just am so sad that I've worked since I was 16, essentially paying into the system for the last 10 years and feeling like I have nothing to show for it.

I've worked my bloody arse off in inner city schools with kids that come from awful backgrounds to help them get out of the cycle of benefits they were born into. The government haven't paid me (or other public sector workers) a penny extra for going above and beyond every single fucking day.

And when we do need a little helping hand, we get jack shit. Nurses got a clap. Teachers got a pay rise but more workload to go along with it.

And then when women go on MAT leave we're given hardly anything to bloody survive that forces to return to work after 6 months slogging for the government that are relying on basically free labour.

My 2 year old asked me to buy her an ice cream today and I'm so grateful that I managed to distract her with the snacks I brought from home because I have £6 left in my bank account till Tuesday.

I go back to work in a week. My youngest daughter won't even be 9 months. She refused a bottle and is exclusively breastfed. She doesn't even take expressed milk from a cup. My heart is breaking at thinking how she's going to go a whole day without me.

I can't even do anything else that I can leave teaching for more flexible hours and better pay. Tbh I love teaching, I just hate that I have to return so soon on a shit salary for the job that I do.

So on top of that, I'm having to look for a weekend job so we can do more than just pay the bills.

I think the point the op is trying to make, is that you're told to work hard in school; get the qualifications; get a professional job, then you'll be better off than you were growing up, but it's not turning out like that now. Surely the point of doing all that is that you DON'T have to get a second job. I genuinely don't see how teachers have the time to tutor. I exam mark for holiday money, but it's 3 weeks of hell.

Which is understandable, but then the balance is how much things cost vs your earnings,

Well, whatever you do, don't tutor maths as your maths isn't adding up in the slightest.

You're living beyond your means - massively.

I had a surprise 2nd baby as an NQT - husband was in a minimum wage job at the time. No benefits. We managed. We also had nursery fees of £1200 a month.

I can guarantee you can easily survive on a joint income of £80k a year if you post exactly what you spend. I'm not buying your gas/electic bill is only £60 either!

You don't need more money - you need a reality check!

@Midgecrow

How is the op not better off?

I was thinking along similar lines @Worrywart987 . There's certainly a lack of transparency from OP's DH about money stuff.

I wonder if the car is costing a lot in finance?

Cut your cloth accordingly and you will be fine. We all have to give up luxuries when times are tough.

Have you considered moving to Australia, much more pay, better lifestyle. Regional places are screaming for workers healthcare and education. You will not regret!

The UK is truly a country divided by the haves and have nots. I am a new comer to this country and marvel how the people have not revolted against the riches and the govt that gaslight its people.

OP has £6 to last her till Tuesday. This clearly isn't a case of just needing to give up smashed avo on toast for a few weeks. Bloody hell.

Well said @Ozasia 👏👏.

At what income does someone become a have?

But they have savings - ‘DH is car too. Again purchased before DC2. He didn't want to touch savings to buy it so took out a loan instead’ so there obviously is money somewhere.

I just cannot get over your comment that since your little one started to eat solids your grocery shopping rocketed...?
Surely if you are not buying those ready made jars or pouches, it cannot even be possible?

OP has last her that £6 because she has no fully transparency of what sh and she and her DP take home month by month.

When you drive in the “country”, you see all these beautiful and vast fields and every now and then you see tree lined driveways to someone’s manor house and estates surrounded by ancient walls. Meanwhile, not even 20 mins away, you see little houses bunched up together, sharing walls, no driveways, still paying a fortune of council taxes that are being used for god knows what! The fact that renters (who are most likely in less privileged position) pay for council taxes in this country is appalling.

The haves - when you can afford multiple kids in exclusive independent schools, where majority of your prime ministers, judges, olympians, actors, performance artists graduated from! Costing more than someone’s annual salary for one child to attend!

austerity measures dictated by the ruling wealthy, whilst themselves benefitted from long line of generational wealth, blue blooded ness, convincing the commoners they need to sacrifice, funding cuts to education healthcare…

sorry a bit off topic but as an outsider, it astounds me that it is just “accepted”!!

My reply above, sorry new to this.

I’m so curious to know what country you’ve come from?

’people sharing walls’ do you mean terrace houses 🤣🤣

To quote what you said below - you've received SMP, having children is a choice. 80k between you😂
"I just am so sad that I've worked since I was 16, essentially paying into the system for the last 10 years and feeling like I have nothing to show for it. "

my adopted country - the land down under!! 😊

Yes terrace house is a better description! Sorry English is not my native tongue 😅

But this is the same in every country, the haves and have nots! Not just exclusive to U.K. I lived in Australia in the middle of Melbourne, surrounded by very expensive penr house flats and huge houses but also saw people really struggling. There are plenty of folk who fall in between these two places extremes.

Yeh it’s not that different. Flats, tiny houses, central detached

Really, your school told you this? We just got told that life was hard work so get used to it and that life with qualifications was better than life without.

Of course, i have just considered the gap to be much greater in the UK. I meant, the current Aus PM came from a humble background (raised by a single mother working as a cleaner), would it even be possible for someone sharing similar background to be a PM here?

class-ism is well and truly alive! Where else could you judge someone’s status by their pronunciation??

a report titled elitist britain is worth reading.

Margaret Thatcher came from a working class background of shoe makers until her father rose through the class system to become a grocer. So yes, to answer your question. Australia definitely has a class system. It’s a five class system. Although it may not be talked about as much as the British system, it definitely exists and there’s plenty of research and papers on the subject.

Is there any possibly you could take a career break so you could stay at home with your little one a bit longer? With DH taking home at least £2788 a month plus some CB and a mortgage of only £750, I can’t see how this wouldn’t be comfortably viable. I have friends who are teachers who have taken career breaks and people who manage with 2 kids quite happily on lower household incomes.

No, my parents. They left school at 15 and had shit jobs their whole lives. They naively thought that education was the way for their children to have better lives than they had.