To think I shouldn't have to work a second job to make ends meet

[drusillabee]

I am a teacher working 4 days.

DH has a clinical role in NHS.

Our household income is about 80k. Pretty decent until you factor in rising costs of everything plus childcare.

We have 2 DC under 3 and omg nursery costs are so expensive. I'm on MAT leave for another month and I'm having to go back sooner than we anticipated due to rising costs and basically having run out of money since I won't be getting any SMP.

I just am so sad that I've worked since I was 16, essentially paying into the system for the last 10 years and feeling like I have nothing to show for it.

I've worked my bloody arse off in inner city schools with kids that come from awful backgrounds to help them get out of the cycle of benefits they were born into. The government haven't paid me (or other public sector workers) a penny extra for going above and beyond every single fucking day.

And when we do need a little helping hand, we get jack shit. Nurses got a clap. Teachers got a pay rise but more workload to go along with it.

And then when women go on MAT leave we're given hardly anything to bloody survive that forces to return to work after 6 months slogging for the government that are relying on basically free labour.

My 2 year old asked me to buy her an ice cream today and I'm so grateful that I managed to distract her with the snacks I brought from home because I have £6 left in my bank account till Tuesday.

I go back to work in a week. My youngest daughter won't even be 9 months. She refused a bottle and is exclusively breastfed. She doesn't even take expressed milk from a cup. My heart is breaking at thinking how she's going to go a whole day without me.

I can't even do anything else that I can leave teaching for more flexible hours and better pay. Tbh I love teaching, I just hate that I have to return so soon on a shit salary for the job that I do.

So on top of that, I'm having to look for a weekend job so we can do more than just pay the bills.

It will probably be a few years before your DH has to pay tax on CB OP as it's £50k after pension contributions. So not before he's on about £53/54k.

Sounds like he's on Band 8A, which starts at about £48.5k 2022/23 rate, so should increase a little soon I would have thought?

If you've both got pay rises due, that should add a little to the pot and you might be due some back pay?

https://www.healthcareers.nhs.uk/working-health/working-nhs/nhs-pay-and-benefits/agenda-change-pay-rates

Your DH isn't taking home 2.5k a month on band 8. Even at the bottom of band 8 salary and with tax, NI and NHS pension, he's not just taking home 2.5k a month full time.

He's taking home more than than and you said he sometimes does additional bank shifts so that adds up too.

Essentially 5 years as OP won't have been able to work full time from 16-18 while at school, nor the 3 years after that as she was at university.

So 5 years in work and 2 maternity leaves. Really slugging away!

I can't imagine not knowing what DH earns - surely that's the first step in working out your fiancnes. A salary of £50k should be taking home £3168 - obviously that doesn't include any pretax deductions. I'd be taking a dim view of my DH if I couldn't afford an icecream for my DD in the park and he is lying about his take home pay by, possibly, £500+

What bank shifts is he doing as a band 8?!

Op do you not talk about your dh’s salary with him?

All seems a bit opaque, was it more a political point you were going for as there’s loads of advice on here if you just do figures

I think your household take home income is
£1,900 - your salary
£173 - child benefit
£2,921 - DH salary if he is on the very lowest point of band 8a, obviously higher if not
Total £4,944
£200 more if DH works overtime

I don't think you necessarily need a second job. As PP has said you have bought a house and had children way earlier in life than most people can afford to.

I think that got a few peoples back up.

OP is a tax payer, like many are. And had 2 children in 3 years under NHS maternity and birth care, and maternity leave for several months for each child.

Which isn't really 'paying into the system and having nothing to show for it".

Also, assuming OP is on 30k, she might not even be a net contributor.

You teach science and maths?

Things will get easier when they start school.
Especially as your hours, theoretically anyway, are more aligned to your kids at school.
I went back to work a year after having twins and the full time nursery fees were approx £2200./ pm.
I was actually paying to work as my take home was less than that. We were taking home £400 less than when I wasnt working.
After 6months of dropping off at 7am and picking up just before 7pm ( Had to get to London from Kent for work) I’d had enough. Especially as my profession expects a lot of unpaid overtime. Walking out of the office at 5:30pm is unheard of. Meetings with clients in the evening and presentations at the weekend is the norm.
This wasn’t sustainable. So I stopped. In those days there was no help with childcare costs and no UC. I was out of work for years and my progression really suffered. I couldn’t get a job when I was able to return so had to set up on my own. My pension is practically £0.

Now however there is help with childcare.It’s just a case of waiting for it to kick in. Thank goodness things are finally moving in the right direction for new parents.

It is shit but its also life decisions isn't it. Having kids so close together is the reason why. 2 periods of mat leave and then childcare for 2. It's why so many people wait until their kid is 3 before they have another one.

It'll only be for the next couple of years so at least it's short term.

Yes, the 'worked ten years since age 16' thing is odd!

@drusillabee
As a teacher, you would have done A Levels, a degree and a post grad teaching qualification, yes? So that takes you up to age 22. You had your eldest child at age 23, and you've had two maternity leaves now at age 26. Exactly how many years have you worked? You're doing 4 days a week now - have you ever worked full time?

The more I think about it, to be homeowners at your age with the incomes you describe and having had 2 kids, I think you've got a nerve complaining about not being able to stack hundreds away in savings every month

Childcare costs are a killer but your mortgage and other essential outgoings are relatively low.

Do you both have student loans still being paid? that takes a chunk out every month and you haven't accounted for it in the calculation you posted. You need to get to grips with those loans and with your bank loan(s) for the cars, including interest rates and repayment schedule (ie when the loans will be paid off).

Use a salary calculator like this one: The Salary Calculator - Take-Home tax calculator that includes student loan payments and pension contributions. Using this will help you work out what your income will be and how it might alter as you go through the salary grades or bands at work.

The Money saving Expert site Money Saving Expert: Energy Help, Credit Cards, Flight Delays, Shopping and more has really helpful forums where people can help you work out your actual expenditure. The call this the Statement of Affairs (SOA) If you then post that (it's anonymous!) they will make suggestions on where to make changes/cuts. The best forum board is probably Debtfree Wannabe, they are experts there.

Best of luck OP

Would you earn more if you got a 4 day teaching job in the private sector? Plus longer holidays thereby saving on childcare?

You have savings which you can use to tide you over the childcare years. "DH is car too. Again purchased before DC2. He didn't want to touch savings to buy it so took out a loan instead."

"2 car loans between you and no idea how much your husband pays to his or what he earns"

You have a budgeting problem. You earn lots between you but have no idea what your outgoings actually are. Sit down together and do a budget.

What's a bank shift? Additional days?

So like an extra Saturday or Sunday every month.

My point was is that I've been working since I've been old enough to.

Retail and call centres whilst I was in college and uni.

I think I was just a bit emotional when I wrote the thread last night.

I don’t get the timing but two dc and home owner from starting work as a teacher is no small thing

For any profession

Starting a few years ago as a teacher that is

@drusillabee

Sorry I think someone else said bank.

Even additional days or overtime would be incredibly rare at band 8.

At that level you're expected to do the job in the hours you're contracted for

Band 8 is a senior managerial position

Yeah I need to sit with DH and have a frank convo about finance.

Our set up has worked until now, but last week he had a go at me for spending 'leisurely' on the joint account. I mean it's just food and treats for the kids.

I've always taken his word on what he earns, because well like I said it's been fine until now.

It's not unreasonable for me to ask to see his payslip?

Surely you have student loans from your studies too.
You need to factor that into your calculations to get a clear picture of your outlay.

@adrem ugh yes student loan is a killer.

Well I'm on repayment plan 2 so I don't pay as much as plan 1 but it means that the interest on it is higher than what I actually pay.

So my loan just gets higher and higher.

Of course it isn’t unreasonable to ask to see his payslip.
Put both your salaries into a joint account then, if you want, get a ddebit out for your personal spending. Personal spending is just things like clothes, ie personal stuff.

We have a joint account and a joint savings account only. Everything is equal and shared.