To think I shouldn't have to work a second job to make ends meet

[drusillabee]

I am a teacher working 4 days.

DH has a clinical role in NHS.

Our household income is about 80k. Pretty decent until you factor in rising costs of everything plus childcare.

We have 2 DC under 3 and omg nursery costs are so expensive. I'm on MAT leave for another month and I'm having to go back sooner than we anticipated due to rising costs and basically having run out of money since I won't be getting any SMP.

I just am so sad that I've worked since I was 16, essentially paying into the system for the last 10 years and feeling like I have nothing to show for it.

I've worked my bloody arse off in inner city schools with kids that come from awful backgrounds to help them get out of the cycle of benefits they were born into. The government haven't paid me (or other public sector workers) a penny extra for going above and beyond every single fucking day.

And when we do need a little helping hand, we get jack shit. Nurses got a clap. Teachers got a pay rise but more workload to go along with it.

And then when women go on MAT leave we're given hardly anything to bloody survive that forces to return to work after 6 months slogging for the government that are relying on basically free labour.

My 2 year old asked me to buy her an ice cream today and I'm so grateful that I managed to distract her with the snacks I brought from home because I have £6 left in my bank account till Tuesday.

I go back to work in a week. My youngest daughter won't even be 9 months. She refused a bottle and is exclusively breastfed. She doesn't even take expressed milk from a cup. My heart is breaking at thinking how she's going to go a whole day without me.

I can't even do anything else that I can leave teaching for more flexible hours and better pay. Tbh I love teaching, I just hate that I have to return so soon on a shit salary for the job that I do.

So on top of that, I'm having to look for a weekend job so we can do more than just pay the bills.

She pays £367 a month in loans, £500 in savings, £1000 disposable whilst overpaying into their pensions. Whilst paying £1200 per month in childcare and running a gas guzzling car. I would t say she has a poor quality of life by any means.

100%

it really annoys me when people hark back to previous generations as if it was some golden era

I know there’s ups and downs but two small dc 18 odd years ago was a strain. It’s not related to public sector. People just went though it. It’s easier now in my sector at least, back then it was completely unforgiving

I wouldn't be too hasty to leave teaching... there are long term benefits which are better than in other jobs.
The OP is working 4 days a week at the moment. If she steps back up to full time soonish (perhaps when the kids are a couple of years older?) then she can go for promotions and work her way up. That's what I did when I was a teacher. The pension is way better than most other jobs. I moved to a different career in my 50s; I haven't drawn my teaching pension yet but when I do it'll give me far more per month than I'd be getting if I hadn't been in teaching.

OP, I feel your pain. In a similar situation, similar joint income, which is not 5k take home like some seem to think. Think it is the rising cost of everything but definitely adjusting to childcare costs. It's certainly been a schock to our finances but as people have said it is only temporary.
But to answer your main question I do think it's unreasonable that families are being put under immense financial stress due to childcare and more support should be provided.

Exactly. If you want money for softplay and iceceream then reprioritise that.

......and can't afford £3 ice cream for DC!

It’s too late for you know but shared parental leave is something that all teachers should know about as they can go back onto full pay for school holidays.

can you move to UPS if you are eligible. Schools can’t say they can’t afford it and they also can’t say it comes with more responsibilities as UPS is same standards as mainscale now.

I was teaching full time and doing tutoring. If your partner is home at weekends then look into tutoring on a Saturday morning. Yes it sucks as it’s family time but it can be more lucrative than a second job at minimum wage. Depending on area it could be £30-50 an hour depending on what you offer. Through an agency or self employed. I do a mixture.

I’ve just left teaching and work for civil service on just 37 hours. No evening work. Nothing! It was a pay cut but it’s flexible working. The civil service offer part time and Term time contracts for some roles.

@Robinni

I think you've missed a bit of your sentence there.

Nhs workers got to continue working

In some awful circumstances.

I dont remember very many people on furlough offering to come work in the covid wards

@babyproblems

You didn't actually answer my question

Yes of course! There are huge implications for wider society- and not good ones. How will voters realise that the tories do not fund the public sector adequately out of choice and make different choices when voting? I don’t think members of the public should martyr themselves by working for a shit wage whilst people vote Tory. Put your family first and hopefully one day voters will realise how dire the service provision has become and vote with a more empathetic approach.

Two at once in nursery is a huge drain on income. You should have planned not to have two at the same time needing childcare. Thats what I did. Couldnt have afforded it otherwise.

I’m not going to pull your finances and situation apart, plenty of others have done that.

I will say when it comes to treats I always gave them at home as I could never afford to buy when out, still can’t. I always have ice cream, sprinkles and cones in, I’ve also got plastic sundae cups so when I get asked for things like ice cream I say o I got some at home for you, when we get home you can make your own and put as many sprinkles, marshmallows and toppings on as you want. Or I will say actually I already have a treat and surprise for you at home and pull something out of my secret stash, kinder egg, freddo or something else that they will be happy about.

Which doesn't change the fact that the paid for childcare costs are currently affordable to OP on a combined public sector income of 4.3k a month take home pay.

She's not struggling to afford childcare. She just resents what it costs. Which is fine, but it's not a case that her family are struggling to make ends meet.

She's just having to adjust her lifestyle. Which surely should be the case with a second child?

@babyproblems

Most tory voters (clue is in the name) are tories.

They have the same values as the party they vote for.

They dont believe in a well funded public sector because they dont think its needed

I think this is more of a budgeting problem rather than an income one.

There are very few properties with 2-bedrooms under £500k where I live, and you'd have to move quite a long way to get anything significantly cheaper. That can be very difficult if you have young children and rely on support from family. And the saving in housing costs would be reduced by increased commuting costs.

Because of the jobs that OP and her partner have, they're unlikely to have the sort of options available to others, eg working compressed or reduced hours to cut the childcare bill.

Things will be a lot easier when your oldest reaches 3 and qualifies for 30 free hours OP. And if you can find a childminder, it will be cheaper than nursery fees. It may be worth speaking to your mortgage provider to see if they are willing to reduce payments until your childcare costs go down.

But she does already. She just realised she was freely spending on those things previously including £500 a month savings and now she has to be 'more frugal'.

Did you not see her list of income and outgoings?

She's been on MAT leave twice in 3 years and hasn't had as much money as usual recently as a result.

She still has money for nice things when she returns to work next week. And then she'll be at work for a few weeks then it's the summer holidays and she's on full pay but off work.

And when the next term starts she still has money for nice things.

Can you look at a childminder that will take school terms only would save a fortune especially summer as you will only need to pay for 39 weeks not 52.
It’s the 2 in nursery under 3 that’s the issue. Obviously you’ve explained baby 2 wasn’t planned so can’t be helped. Everyone I know who works had to have a 3 yr gap or wait until oldest in school.

If you earn £1900 per month then your husband is on about £55k per month, which is around £3.3k per month.

So you have over £5k per month. Your childcare is £1200 which leaves £3800 for everything else, which should be enough.

What are you actually spending your money on?

Sorry but I take issue with that statement. I also work in the public sector and have a professional role. No, we aren't paid what we would be in the private sector (and I don't complain about that because I don't want to work in the private sector). Yes, we haven't had real pay increases in over a decade - my slary is worth over 25% less than it was ten years ago. But nobody deserves the "nice things" simply because they have a "professional public sector job". Everybody deserves to have some of the nice things in life. The OP has a lot of "nice things" in life - nice house, nice car, £80k household income.... Most people don't have those things and many people can't even dream of having those things. They also deserve them. Care workers deserve them. Supermarket workers deserve them. Nurses deserve them.

The OP may, like all of us, be shocked at how much all our costs have gone up. But they are being disingenuous. They are sitting on a pot of savings but can't afford an ice cream for their child??? Aw, diddums. Do you want to know how many people aren't sitting on a pot of savings, can't afford their own home, don't have two nice shiny newish cars, and not only can't afford an ice cream, they also can't afford beans on toast for tea.

Everyone should expect more from life.

But right now I'd rather see my neighbours (I live in one of the country's poorest areas) be able to feed their children than top up the living standards of those on double+ the UK's median income. I'd rather live in a country where food banks are obsolete, benefits are not necessary to give working people the most basic of living standards, and everyone can afford to buy their child an ice cream.

This is spot on.

These posts are so transparent 🙄

@Dixiechickonhols we had our dc1 with a childminder to begin with but it was a nightmare if she was unwell and couldn't have dd. Then the childminder fell pregnant and needed time off and at that point we bit the bullet and went for nursery, and continued that with dc2.

Yeap, it meant paying full rate 51 weeks a year whereas the childminder had been term time only which suited me as I was teaching then. Yes, it was more expensive than the child minder. But I knew it would be open every day, and when you're a teacher that's vital; it's so fucking difficult to take even a day off (and if you do, you end up having to set work and mark it anyway) so for us it was peace of mind and reliability.

Having said that, nowadays some nurseries do offer a number of term time places (never the case in my day!) so it would be worth the OP looking around to see if she can get this. She did say her eldest will get 30 free hours in the autumn though so I don't think this tough time will last too long

Quite. Check your privilege op. You can afford these things you are just choosing not to prioritise them.

This is totally different from people who simply don't have the money for these things and it's offensive to conflate the two.