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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by a note left on my car?

154 replies

isabellaboo · 24/05/2023 19:56

I went to pick my children up from their nannies in the evening. The street they live on is on a bend and on one side of the bend is two houses with two drives so you can't park there, the bend in front of MIL house has room to park but is always full as there are no drives for this area, as you follow the road around there are two streets where there is space on the road and most of these houses also have drives.

For context I'd had to park quite far down from the house I was actually going too but made sure not to block any drive or any house opposites drive. I left my car half on the pavement half off the pavement so if had a pram they could fit through. Didn't think anything of it as there were literally no other parking spaces and there was a car just opposite me on the other side of the road or else I would of gone there.

When I've come back (I'd been 30 minutes max) As I've been driving a piece of paper has come up my windscreen nearly flying into my vision, so when I've gotten home I've looked and there's a snobby not telling me to be more considerate. Absolutely baffled. I hadn't parked diagonally or in anyway I would find offensive in the slightest, was blocking no one in. I pay road tax and it's not private property.

I have young children and I'm pregnant so this has really rubbed me up the wrong way as I had to park a fair walk from my MIL in the first place.

I don't understand why leave a note and not just come and speak to me in person ( even though I honestly can't see what I did wrong) I understand it's annoying to have people park in front of your house as I live on a public street but that's life.

It's really wound me up. I know most of it is probably pregnancy hormones but AIBU to be annoyed by this? Or would this annoy anyone else.

Just needed a little vent.

OP posts:
Original poster
isabellaboo · 24/05/2023 21:06

I've chucked it in the bin outside ! It just said something about not parking in front of the house, it felt passive aggressive but that could of been misconstrued through me reading it.

But I was in the middle of two houses, so I wasn't sure where it had come from but after talking to MIL she said she knows who it is. She been at my SIL before for parking in the gap between two drives and the two houses when there was no where else for her to go.

OP posts:
Seymour5 · 24/05/2023 21:06

@WhatAmIDoingWrong123 I agree about the rudeness! Most streets in my area of terrace houses have little or no off street parking. If we all parked fully on the road emergency services wouldn’t get through. Even with wheels on the pavement it can be tight. Our neighbour in a wheelchair can still get along the pavement.

WhatAmIDoingWrong123 · 24/05/2023 21:07

isabellaboo · 24/05/2023 21:00

@WhatAmIDoingWrong123 I didn't really think I needed to be called stupid or entitled as I am far from it. Funny how people make assumptions like that from one post you've made.

It's just a very difficult road. I don't know how many times I can't state the pavement is wide and the road is narrow. I'm not saying it's right to pavement park. Everyone on the street pavement parks. You would block the entire road if you parked fully in the road. There is also a care home and older peoples accommodation to take into account and often ambulances squeezing through. I left as much room as a I could on either side to allow for pedestrians, buggies etc without stopping strategic.

The street is a bend and then goes onto two double roundabouts so you can't park elsewhere unless you want a 10-15 minute walk which as I've said I have SPD so I'm struggling with my pelvis.

I won't be parking near her house again

I’m not sure if it was clear from my post or not, but I posted in support of you. Your parking wouldn’t be an issue for me.

I also think it’s entirely relevant that you’re pregnant and dealing with SPD. If I knew of a pregnant woman with SPD, I’d do whatever I could to make life easier for her.

I hope the people you know in real life are more empathetic than the perfect parkers on this thread.

Original poster
isabellaboo · 24/05/2023 21:08

@WhatAmIDoingWrong123 oh no I know ! Thankyou, I just read it back and it sounds like I'm telling you I didn't need to be called stupid off you ! No I was thanking you for backing me 😊
I get where people are coming from with the pavement parking but there was no need to start calling me names.

OP posts:
SmileyClare · 24/05/2023 21:09

Yeah sympathies for the SPD. My sister had that while pregnant with a toddler- it was pretty debilitating and painful, and quite a struggle- although resolved itself after baby was born x

Original poster
isabellaboo · 24/05/2023 21:11

SmileyClare · 24/05/2023 21:09

Yeah sympathies for the SPD. My sister had that while pregnant with a toddler- it was pretty debilitating and painful, and quite a struggle- although resolved itself after baby was born x

Yes, I had it in my previous pregnancy and it's started earlier this time so I'm not looking forward to what is coming. Only good this is it goes pretty much after baby is born

OP posts:
OrwellianTimes · 24/05/2023 21:12

isabellaboo · 24/05/2023 20:14

I have been that mum with a double buggy who has had to go onto the road so I will always leave as much room as possible if I have to go on the pavement which as explained this is a narrow road so if I went on the road it would of been difficult for a car to come through without going into the pavement on their side and with the electric box there it's a bit difficult.

Lorries don't go down that road, or at least I have never seen one in the 4 years I've been around the area. It's like a little side street off a main road that bends around.

Show quote history

Lorries might not but you never know when an ambulance or fire engine would.

double parking blocks access for the emergency services.

Catchasingmewithspiders · 24/05/2023 21:12

isabellaboo · 24/05/2023 20:52

As said previously I have SPD which makes it difficult to walk distances if I had not parked where I had I would of had to park about 10-15 minutes away from MIL house, as the street leads off onto a double roundabout. That is why I parked there. I also have young children and they were tired so it would of been a struggle to wrangle them a 10-15 minute walk to the car.

Show quote history

I'm suprised given your SPD you aren't more thoughtful of those in wheelchairs etc or eith mobility problems. But I notice despite several people asking you haven't confirmed whether you left room for a wheel chair or a mobility scooter, which makes me think you probably didn't.

Dixiechickonhols · 24/05/2023 21:12

I’d assume it was due to parking on pavement. Just park on road.

greenmarsupial · 24/05/2023 21:12

There is a woman who frequently visits another house on our road and park in the most ridiculous places. She often parks on the opposite side of the road to another parked car (like you did) creating a slalom effect which is annoying. She also parks on the corner which is illegal. The time I left her a note was when she pulled her car halfway across the pavement (no need, quite a wide road). There was enough space for me with a single buggy but not the old lady who uses a mobility scooter or the blind lady and her husband.

If you can't park without being on the pavement then it is not a parking space.

Chilledp · 24/05/2023 21:13

Could a side by side double pushchair or a wheelchair be able to get through easily?

Vallmo47 · 24/05/2023 21:14

The way I see it Op is that if my sister who has Ms cannot get through with her electric wheelchair (it’s much wider than a single pram), you can’t park there. She has no use of arms or legs. Literally none- she has one finger that works somewhat so she can press a button on her wheelchair. I understand she’s not your average person, 10 years ago she was running around like the rest of us. But this is her reality now and I have been out for walks with her before where she’s tried to manoeuvre around parked cars and it truly truly affects her. Please don’t do it.

WhatAmIDoingWrong123 · 24/05/2023 21:14

isabellaboo · 24/05/2023 21:08

@WhatAmIDoingWrong123 oh no I know ! Thankyou, I just read it back and it sounds like I'm telling you I didn't need to be called stupid off you ! No I was thanking you for backing me 😊
I get where people are coming from with the pavement parking but there was no need to start calling me names.

Ah very good then! I get my pram up and down our terraced street all the time, there’s always cars with 2 wheels on the pavement and it’s not an issue, not an issue for wheelchairs either. We don’t have a choice about it and there would be nowhere for miles and miles if we didn’t park this way. It’s a built up urban area and that’s just how it is!

My mum’s neighbour once had a word with her because our cat at the time was sunbathing on their bonnet too often. Mum said she’d have a word with the cat and it was never mentioned again 😆. People are just so territorial about nothing of any importance!

Stratocumulus · 24/05/2023 21:15

I’ve not read the entire thread but just wondering if a quick pre collection telephone call to your MIL as you leave to pick kids up would allow her to bring children to her door for a speedy departure?? Not ideal if you enjoy seeing her but better than crappy notes.
Don’t take the note too much to heart. There are some very sad people out there.

Fairowing · 24/05/2023 21:16

Legally and officially there is nothing wrong with parking half on road/ half on pavement.
We used to live on an estate you could only exit by pulling out a junction onto a busy main road. We had 6 months of workers avoiding car parking fees parking along the roadside of this main road- blocking our view of oncoming traffic from one side of the junction.
Dangerous? Extremely. Illegal? Not at all.
Neither the police or council would touch them. Said pavement is not private property so they are ok.

changewhale · 24/05/2023 21:16

Vallmo47 · 24/05/2023 21:14

The way I see it Op is that if my sister who has Ms cannot get through with her electric wheelchair (it’s much wider than a single pram), you can’t park there. She has no use of arms or legs. Literally none- she has one finger that works somewhat so she can press a button on her wheelchair. I understand she’s not your average person, 10 years ago she was running around like the rest of us. But this is her reality now and I have been out for walks with her before where she’s tried to manoeuvre around parked cars and it truly truly affects her. Please don’t do it.

Yes I'm assuming OP left enough space for all mobility aids. If not then yeah that's not on OP. But sometimes people legit have nowhere else feasible to park than on the pavement.

Ifeellikeateenageragain · 24/05/2023 21:17

Errr... So... Learning something here. In the village where I often go for coffee etc EVERYONE parks half on and half off the pavement usually on both sides of the streets and I'm talking maybe two hundred cars if not more. This is illegal????

changewhale · 24/05/2023 21:17

Catchasingmewithspiders · 24/05/2023 21:12

I'm suprised given your SPD you aren't more thoughtful of those in wheelchairs etc or eith mobility problems. But I notice despite several people asking you haven't confirmed whether you left room for a wheel chair or a mobility scooter, which makes me think you probably didn't.

Show quote history

Why assume the worst though. I'm assuming she did leave enough space.

Original poster
isabellaboo · 24/05/2023 21:18

Stratocumulus · 24/05/2023 21:15

I’ve not read the entire thread but just wondering if a quick pre collection telephone call to your MIL as you leave to pick kids up would allow her to bring children to her door for a speedy departure?? Not ideal if you enjoy seeing her but better than crappy notes.
Don’t take the note too much to heart. There are some very sad people out there.

I might do when the street is busy in future! Normally I do just grab and go but tonight I just needed to chat with her quickly.

OP posts:
Catchasingmewithspiders · 24/05/2023 21:19

changewhale · 24/05/2023 21:17

Why assume the worst though. I'm assuming she did leave enough space.

Show quote history

Because I'm pretty sure if she had she would have mentioned it by now if only to continue to justify herself

I am disabled, this is behaviour I come across a lot so I'm fairly cynical about this.

Gotaearnabuck · 24/05/2023 21:22

Oh my days a lot of folk here clearly don't live in streets that were built 80 years ago and are so narrow you can only park your half on the pavement - there are so many places like this

Original poster
isabellaboo · 24/05/2023 21:24

As said previously. The pavements are wide. Which left enough space for prams and I would think a wheelchair to get the through or mobility scooter to get through. However I do also have to take into account the care home and the older peoples accommodations that may need emergency services. The pavements are wide and the road is narrow. I left as much space as possible for both. There was room for me to open my car door fully and then a good amount of space between the car door and the wall that belonged to the property. I have also said I don't pavement park anywhere apart from this road. Everyone on this road pavement parks as the road is so awkward. I also wasn't double parked with a car opposite me. There was a car however on the opposite side of the road further down.

OP posts:
Bobbielikespeas · 24/05/2023 21:25

Urgh, understand your need to vent. fecking busy bodies-prob do nothing but stare out their windows all day policing parking - what a sad life.

Original poster
isabellaboo · 24/05/2023 21:26

@Catchasingmewithspiders my grandmother was very limited to a wheel chair before she passed and my mother also has a chronic pain condition so I am not one to be ignorant to disability as I understand limited capacity and mobility.

OP posts:
ChrisPPancake · 24/05/2023 21:28

YABU.
There needs to be enough space on the road for a fire engine to get through. And "half on" the pavement is still on the pavement.