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AIBU?

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Original poster

London and anxiety

98 replies

PamDoooove · 23/05/2023 19:25

Hi all. I could do with a bit of support here (and to be clear, it's not a London bashing thread!)

We are due to travel to London in June - me, DH and two DC aged 7 and 5. We're spending a few days in the city, staying just a bit outside of the centre (perhaps 30 min travel time).

I have always had the fear about London. Amazing city to visit and I know the DC will love it (first time for them). DH studied in London so he loves it. But I find it overwhelming and too busy, plus I have a verging on phobic fear of the tube. In younger years I coped ok and got used to it as I'd visit fairly regularly. But the last time I was there was 2014.

To add to the mix, I have what I'm fairly sure are perimenopausal symptoms. One of which is anxiety and especially around travel. Used to be fine on overground trains but now I'm finding myself increasingly panicky should a train I'm on stop randomly. Pathetic, but there we have it. In addition, since the pandemic we've not done any adventurous holidays with the DC so I'm out of practice! All of this means I'm really worried how I'll cope in London.

'm thinking to ask the GP for diazepam just to get me through (I'm worried about the prospect of DC seeing me panic). But DH thinks that's unnecessary and isn't being very sympathetic about it. He feels I'm overreacting and I get that, I hate myself for feeling this way and if I could pull myself together I absolutely would.

So. If anyone else who is prone to anxiety and especially not fond of a trip to our capital has any advice for coping that's short term, I'd love to hear it! (And please no 'get over it, it's only London'. Trust me if I could, I really would!).

OP posts:
Canthave2manycats · 23/05/2023 19:27

You could use buses and walk a lot if your children are up for that?

Fanamarama · 23/05/2023 19:27

Would it help to avoid the tube? If you get the Citymapper app, you can set it to tell you how to do everything by bus.

Original poster
PamDoooove · 23/05/2023 19:27

Thanks yes I think buses will work. Plus lots of walking!

OP posts:
Original poster
PamDoooove · 23/05/2023 19:28

Oh that app sounds great, thank you! I will check that out. Think a lot of planning is needed, just need to wobble my head and get on it!

OP posts:
TinySaltLick · 23/05/2023 19:29

Fanamarama · 23/05/2023 19:27

Would it help to avoid the tube? If you get the Citymapper app, you can set it to tell you how to do everything by bus.

And overground, water taxi and scooters!

SquashPenguin · 23/05/2023 19:29

There’s always the boats too! They have a few stops along the Thames.

Canthave2manycats · 23/05/2023 19:30

You see me from buses too!

I remember us walking round some sights as a family a number of years ago and we set off from HMS Belfast/St Katharine's dock. You can always have 'pitstops' as and when you need.

I always get incredibly anxious before going away - in the few days before I will be thinking how much I don't want to go!! I'm fine once we're on our way though.

Canthave2manycats · 23/05/2023 19:31

FFS 'more' not 'me'!!

FlounderingFruitcake · 23/05/2023 19:33

Buses, taxis, uber, riverboat, walking - you should be able to keep trains to a minimum depending on where you are staying as 30 minutes out by train could be a long time on the bus. Have fun!!

SussexLass87 · 23/05/2023 19:33

The thing with anxiety (I always think) is that it often springs from out of nowhere, so you've my sympathy OP!

Would it help to have a plan re the travel aspect? Get ubers/taxis or buses instead of the tube? Depending on where you're planning to visit it can often be quicker to walk between destinations too.

Maybe that would help alleviate some of the worry before you go?

On a practical note: when I take my kids to London I always write mine & husband's names / phone numbers on the inside of their forearms in sharpie. It's a just in case, a very big one, but always makes me feel a bit more relaxed.

I hope you can work something out, and have a great trip together.

AlphaAlpha · 23/05/2023 19:34

Rather than diazepam, you could ask for propranolol. I use it very effectively for situational anxiety. Something that I have only experienced since being peri menopausal.
The good thing is, you only take it when you know you will be faced with something that raises your anxiety levels.

sashagabadon · 23/05/2023 19:35

You don’t need to use the tube if you don’t want to.
but having said that it is really fun for kids so still get your dh to take your kids on it whilst you wander round a gallery or something.

ReachForTheMars · 23/05/2023 19:36

You dint need your husbands approval to take a medicine prescribed by a GP.

TeenLifeMum · 23/05/2023 19:39

Take a power bank for your phone so you know you will have phone battery the whole time. Don’t pack too much in and remember to look up (beautiful architecture).

AnnieSaxophone · 23/05/2023 19:43

I would def see your GP about balancing your hormones through peri-menopause - then your anxiety will go away :)
Or google a private Gp that will help you live your best life.
Honestly - it’s all fixable :)

AnnieSaxophone · 23/05/2023 19:44

Also - I live in London and rarely use the tube - I tend to walk or get on a bus :)

Original poster
PamDoooove · 23/05/2023 19:49

Thank you for everyone for your kind advice! I felt sure that I'd be scorned. Great advice about writing on the kids @SussexLass87 that's another fear of mine, DS in particular is terrible for running off and hiding...

Definitely planning to have a plan. Best way forward!

OP posts:
trippyhead · 23/05/2023 19:50

If your GP won't prescribe something, try over the counter Codeine.

HadleyVaughn · 23/05/2023 19:52

I know loads of people who don't use the tube because of claustrophobia, previous panic attacks, fear of terrroist attack. you really aren't alone.

You can get round london without using it by walking, buses and cabs - you just need to allow a little more time as road traffic is terribly slow due to Sadiq Khan's insane traffic policies

Throckmorton · 23/05/2023 19:54

London is amazing (I live here), but it's pretty normal to find the busyness and rush overwhelming I think - I certainly do. I think sometimes it can help to think "well this is insane, and I now know what a sardine feels like, but apparently this is normal for London, so I know I'll get through it as so many other people appear to!" 🙂

bryceQ · 23/05/2023 20:00

I live in London and I find places like Leicester Square exhausting and waaay too busy.

Maybe you could tell us what you'd like to see and we can help plan your route?

Manichean · 23/05/2023 20:10

I am a Londoner and fucking hate the tube, the noise and the heat and the crowds and the STOPPING in the tunnels. My DC loathe it too, you are not alone. Get to know the buses, overground trains etc. London has great transport - you don't have to go underground if you don't want to. I used to cycle everywhere but very careful to find quiet routes.

Clementineorsatsuma · 23/05/2023 20:17

Much better to walk! You'll see so much! Smile

IamSlave · 23/05/2023 20:41

Op I'm very used to London and happy to stride around soho at night.

I went out last week and was really panicking, over thinking lots but at the same time tubes do randomly stop

SootspriteSearcher · 23/05/2023 20:52

I have taken my girls to London plenty of times now, but those first few were very scary and overwhelming. Like you my dd2 was prone to wandering off when she was younger. I found my best way to manage the anxiety was to have a "in case we get split up plan". Whenever we went on the tube, it was always meet at the destination tube station, as theres no signal down there its easier to know we had a plan so no panicking if we got split up.

I also use the buses/walk wherever possible. Dd2 still doesn't like the tubes and cannot cope with huge crowds so it's a no go unless it's quiet (Sundays I've found are the quietest day to go!)