To wonder what runs through some people's heads sometimes?

[FattyAirways]

I was at a cafe enjoying breakfast. The cafe is big, got around 25 tables in. I was the only one in the cafe. A couple, came in, placed their order at the till and came and sat at the table right beside me! They had 20-odd other tables to choose from. My table wasn't in an enviable position in the cafe, no views out of the window, nothing special about this area in the cafe, yet they chose to do this. Why?

I would love this. I'm not very assertive myself, so seeing (politely) assertive people in action is brilliant!

I'm absolutely not a flocker and will deliberately give people/myself as much space as possible, but I once did this on purpose - I saw a car that was the same make, model and colour as mine and found it mildly entertaining to park mine right next to it. They looked like buddies! 😂

Was this in Indonesia by any chance?

That reminds me of local garden/flower show where you parked in fields. They had local armed service cadets (teenagers) doing the parking control and they cleverly parked you with a full space between cars and once the row was half full, they started "in filling" the spaces between so that the people first in that row had got out and were walking towards the entry by the time the empty spaces in between were filled in. That was a really good way of avoiding adjoining cars getting out at the same time. They were so good at it, I think it must have been something they did every year and the methodology was passed on year to year.

For me it's more of the physical intrusion, i.e. the noise, the banging of their chairs against yours (if not physically blocking you in with their pram or chairs etc), the lack of privacy, etc. Like in car parks, the increased risk of them banging their door against your car causing a dint or scratch.

I don't mind someone sitting in the next table at a cafe if they're quiet and aren't being a nuisance with their chairs/prams, etc. I don't mind a car park with wider spaces were the car doors are less likely to cause dints or scratches, etc.

It's the completely unnecessary physical intrusion that gets me. If they want to sit at the table next to us, then at least be considerate, be quiet, don't bang the chairs, don't block me in, etc.

Why should you when you are just minding your own business?

Other than sitting right next to me in an otherwise empty train carriage or cinema (but that would be the equivalent of the OP’s people sitting at her actual table…..which would be weird), yes, I’d probably wonder why, but I definitely wouldn’t be furious, or even annoyed. I’d probably just assume it’s my magnetic personality.

I mean does it really matter? Its not like they say at your table!

Same in car parks. Drive into an empty car park and the next car wants to be in the next space to you, too close sometimes to even open the door fully!!

It depends. Are they the type that eat and talk quietly or the type where everything they do makes a noise and they talk loudly and incessantly?

Quiet type not a problem, the latter, absolutely a problem when they could have sat somewhere else further away.

I would do my best to avoid being near people unless it was an area where bears/wolves/tigers etc. might attack (so's to be in with a vague chance of getting away).

I think I'd have had to get up and move to a different table if I'd been in OP's position, assuming other tables were free.

Did you piss on the seats afterwards for good measure?

Not sure if this is the actual thought process to car parking, but if you park in an empty car park to then find another car near you; it's because of the assumption that two close cars are a more difficult break in target than one isolated car.
That might explain people finding another car nearby in empty car parks (maybe? )

I think it’s the mirror position on your car. I have my car mirrors so I see most of the road for safer driving, therefore they aren’t angled low enough to be able to see the white line in car parks properly, so I line myself up by parking next to another car. Dh has his angled down. It’s a lot easier to park with his mirrors but not as safe to actually drive imo.
I’m not going to bugger about changing my mirror position so as to not offend you people who don’t like the close proximity of me. 🤪

I pretty sure they weren’t thinking about you, they just sat in a seat that was free, where they wanted to and felt comfortable to them. I think about location in the room more than the other people in it. If you don’t want to be in a communal situation, don’t go to a public place

Yes, close up parkers, why do they always feel the need to park too sodding close, as well?

Car parks do.seem to cause other weirdness, too.

I once went to a supermarket on my motorbike, the car park was about three quarters empty. I parked my bike; this involves lining it up with a spot and paddling it in backwards.

Take off helmet and gloves, undo jacket. Engage steering lock. Get bungee net off the rack, get rucksack and put gloves in. Undo bungee cords holding chain onto rack, remove chain and spend ages with fiddly bastard lock, put chain through front wheel and helmet, spen some time locking fiddly bastard lock.

Seconds later, a woman drew up sharply, right in front of me, glaring. After a while, she wound the window down and bawled, "Well?!"

"Sorry - well what?" I asked.

"Are you going to move?"

"No, I've just parked," I said, thinking she must have assumed I was leaving. She said,

"If you move, I can park there..."

I thought oh dear, nutter! I said, "I'm already parked here, there's loads of spaces." She went on about how she needed to park there and revved her engine, so I started to film her. She threatened me with the Police.

I went in to the shop and she came and found me, shouting that I was a bully and wouldn't have talked to a man like that. I kept repeating, "Go away, looney."

I can’t believe SW2002 is being applauded for telling a couple to move places in a public house. I’m not a drinker and don’t go to such places but I thought the whole point of a public house was to drink with other people, particularly rural ones. I don’t know why he didn’t just drink at home with his mrs rather than ruin someone else’s day.

I loathe when people do this too, if I'm not already eating, I make a point of moving. It's so intrusive and ruins your conversation. Fine if the place is busy and the atmosphere drowns out others conversations, but when people come and sit right next to me in an empty café /restaurant it makes me feel observed and no longer at ease. I honestly think it's creepy and wonder what is wrong with them.

I've always assumed the car parking one is people who can't park. Irritating, but fine if they leave enough space for you to get in and out.

Honestly, I think that’s mean! The woman must have thought it would be nice to connect with some fellow humans or something. You can still say no, but isn’t it nice just to say it like “oh, I’m sorry, my daughter and I are catching up, just the two of us” or whatever.

It must be a real conflict of evolution.. if we naturally 'flock', yet we are also territorial. I always stand on the train platform to line myself up with my preferred door. Really bugs me if it's fairly empty and someone stands right next to me and a few inches closer to the edge, ready to nip in first.

I hear you op.

Personal space is what I’m about. Always. Every time. Do I want anyone near me? No.

Drives me crazy! This happened to us at the beach recently - literally over 1km of empty beach and a big group came and set up about 3m from us, and turned on their loud music 🙄

This reminds me of the time I was on a train with my mum. The carriage was empty so we sat down at table seats which accommodated 4 people. A woman got on next and sat across from us at a table for 4. She then started making quiet calls on her phone. At the next stop a family with small children got on. Instead of sitting anywhere else on the virtually empty train, they sat with this woman. Kids were all squashed up onto the seats. Mum and dad and couple of kids. All sat next to and across from this woman who was clearly making business calls.
Both mum and I exchanged glances. The woman got up and moved, she couldn’t hear for the racket made by this family. No idea what was going through this families minds at the time. Mum and I started laughing at the scene.

It's not so much that they sit next to you, it's that they have no consideration with their noise, disruption, etc. So many people these days only care about themselves and don't give a shit how their actions affect others.