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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pedestrian holding parking space

161 replies

carparkcow · 22/05/2023 17:10

As soon as this happened today I told DH I just HAD to open it up to the wrath of AIBU... very interested to hear opinions!

We were circling the hospital car park which was extremely busy as always. Finally see a lady pulling out of a space a little further up the row and thank our lucky stars. However, as we go to pull into it there is a pedestrian stood there and says she has claimed the space for her husband and points at a car literally on the other side of the car park.

I was pretty stressed about my appointment (scan to check for MC) and essentially told the woman that she was completely out of order, this wasn't in the spirit of the law of the car park and we would happily block the space and take the fine to prevent her being able to park there, such was my fury.

So - AIBU?! SURELY this isn't acceptable behaviour??!!!!!

OP posts:
Minikievs · 22/05/2023 17:54

This exact thing happened to me in Sainsburys a few years ago on 23 December doing the Xmas veg shop!! Woman stood on the space, arms and legs out like a starfish, to save the spot for her husband!
I was like this ShockShockShockShockShockShock
Then laughed at her and carried on driving into the spot (slowly!) until she moved.
Best bit was, her husband had actually found a spot round the corner and walked up to her as I was pulling in, saying "What on EARTH are you doing?!" (to her, not me!)
Some people are BONKERS.

loobylou10 · 22/05/2023 17:54

Sissynova
Which should just be the norm everywhere. Ordering food in a cafe just to then find out there isn’t a table that fits is just stupid.

🙌🙌🙌 well said @Sissynova

SiegeOfBees · 22/05/2023 17:56

They were there first

But their car wasn’t.

gooseduckchicken · 22/05/2023 17:56

I'm on the fence. Were they in the car park before you?

maddening · 22/05/2023 17:57

Spacestace · 22/05/2023 17:29

This, I was circling for ages and waiting around when going to say goodbye to my dad as he died, I would have absolutely had a passenger jump out and grab a space if I had someone else with me, and I wouldn't have felt bad about it.

Show quote history

But then you might explain to the op that you need to see you dad before he dies and appeal to them, between you work out what us the best outcome from the stand off

Minikievs · 22/05/2023 17:58

gooseduckchicken · 22/05/2023 17:56

I'm on the fence. Were they in the car park before you?

But surely it's just the luck of the draw? It's not like standing at the bar, where you know who was there first. In a car park situation, how would you know what time all the other circling cars arrived??

CoffeeCantata · 22/05/2023 18:00

Strange comment. The OP has said nothing to suggest she thinks her reason for being at the hospital trumps anyone else. She's asking about people 'bagging' a parking space before their car has reached it. I agree with her that it's not fair.

Weird!

JudgeJ · 22/05/2023 18:02

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 22/05/2023 17:25

I’m afraid I have done this, when time was running out to get DF to his appointment. I’m not really sure what the problem is….

The problem is it's selfish and provocative, get there sooner would be your solution then time would be less likely to run out. What makes your 'D'F so special to other users of the hospital?

QuintanaRoo · 22/05/2023 18:02

Spacestace · 22/05/2023 17:29

This, I was circling for ages and waiting around when going to say goodbye to my dad as he died, I would have absolutely had a passenger jump out and grab a space if I had someone else with me, and I wouldn't have felt bad about it.

Show quote history

But why is your situation more important than another person who gets to the parking space with a car before you? Maybe they have a dying relative? Maybe they have a vital cancer appt?

Curseofthenation · 22/05/2023 18:03

I would have done that same as you OP. Cheeky mare.

AnnWithoutAnnie · 22/05/2023 18:04

carparkcow · 22/05/2023 17:23

Absolutely didn't think my reason for being there trumped anyone else's, not sure where that came from.

Absolutely did think my car trumped her body in the need for the parking space though!

Show quote history

But it wasn't FOR her body, it was for their car. It's not like she was just going to sit in the space for the day.

maybe they'd been circling for ages when you arrived and as far as they were concerned the first available space was theirs.

I presume it all went well with your appointment??
🌸

Funkyslippers · 22/05/2023 18:06

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld no they weren't. The op and her car were at the space first. If there were spaces for pedestrians then of course the woman could have claimed it! OP's appointment did not trump anyone else's and there are no rules as to whose appointment is more important. It's whose vehicle gets there first, the same as any car park

gooseduckchicken totally irrelevant and no way to tell who got to the car park first. The OP got to the space in her car before the other car which is all that matters

Radiatorvalves · 22/05/2023 18:07

I’m hoping not to have to park in a hospital car park anytime soon. The queue to get into the hospital where my dad was recently was horrific. Finally arrived and amazingly found a space. Got back to find that some did had scraped the side of my fairly new car. £5k we were quoted….

id have been furious OP.

Justalittlebitduckling · 22/05/2023 18:11

I think the most unreasonable factor at play here is the lack of ample parking at hospitals. I went to QA hospital in Portsmouth recently and they have a massive multi storey where there was loads of room. People will behave badly and selfishly in a context of stress and scarcity… yes, they are being unreasonable but I also think the situation could be improved.

Slitheringheights · 22/05/2023 18:11

That happened to me ages ago. Had an appointment for my daughter to get teeth out. Went round the car park about 10 times. Eventually saw a space, next thing a lady was standing in the space. I told her to move. She says it was for her friend behind me lol 😂 i told her to move once again but not as polite. She starts taking photos of my car? Then moves. Bloody entitled and rude!!

Iwasafool · 22/05/2023 18:13

Spacestace · 22/05/2023 17:29

This, I was circling for ages and waiting around when going to say goodbye to my dad as he died, I would have absolutely had a passenger jump out and grab a space if I had someone else with me, and I wouldn't have felt bad about it.

Show quote history

I was thinking of that situation and I agree with you. It isn't something I think is right but sometimes a situation takes over.

user1471517095 · 22/05/2023 18:14

This happened to me three weeks ago, my dad was taken to A & E by the Paramedics, we followed in the car with my disabled mum. A man was saving a space, the car he was saving it for wasn't even in the Car Park. They were still queuing to get in. He still refused to move, I ended up telling him to Fuck Off. Not my finest hour, luckily for him I was driving, my sister would have just pulled into the space regardless.

Spacestace · 22/05/2023 18:16

QuintanaRoo · 22/05/2023 18:02

But why is your situation more important than another person who gets to the parking space with a car before you? Maybe they have a dying relative? Maybe they have a vital cancer appt?

Show quote history

I didn't actually do it as it was just me in the car, but I said I'd be tempted to if it meant actually getting a space instead of circling for an inordinate amount of time when you have a small window to say goodbye as they've deteriorated rapidly. I don't think it's more important than anyone else, I just said I can see the appeal of doing it! I know MN is renowned for the tedious and boring competitiveness for absolutely everything, but not sure hospital top trumps is overly savoury. I said I wouldn't feel bad about it as personally I don't see what's much worse about it than someone with a car happening to be closer by- it's luck of the draw.

EggInANest · 22/05/2023 18:16

I don’t think it’s on for pedestrians to bags spaces, no.

But if you were getting pressed for time why couldn’t you have gone in while your DH parked the car?

And queue jumping woman could have done the same.

VisionsOfSplendour · 22/05/2023 18:18

Teddypops · 22/05/2023 17:18

YABU to think that your reason for being there trumps anyone elses. (but I hope all is OK x)

HTH.

Getting to the space first trumps everyne else regardless of the reason for being there

TeenLifeMum · 22/05/2023 18:19

I hate this. It’s not how car parks work. We had been circling a car park for 30 minutes at cheddar gorge with 3 dc who’d been in the car for 2 hours when we saw someone going to their car so we hung back and waited. While waiting another car further along suddenly reversed back and a woman walked into the space to reserve it. Due to how the car was pulling out, reversing car was blocked so dh drove forward and into the space with mad lady screaming and pointing at her dh in their car something about it being their space. Clearly not. We didn’t cheekily sneak in, we patiently waited our turn. They blocked our car and ranted at us when we were getting the dog out the boot. I hate confrontation so was shaking and muttered something about them not understanding how car parks worked. It happened 2 years ago and still annoys me now how they spoke to us.

Greengold123 · 22/05/2023 18:21

yanbu. I'd have just pulled into the space as far as possible and refuse to move for the car. They'd give up when they realise you're serious.

Hospital parking is a free for all.

Original poster
carparkcow · 22/05/2023 18:21

To answer a few Qs:

No idea who got there first, the car parking situation is a shambles tbh and there were about 10 cars circling, maybe more. We'd already done a lap of the hospital and the second car park and come back to this one to try again.

She was there for an appt just like I was. I said something to DH about going to the appt alone and she must have misheard me and said 'well I have an appt too'. Obviously I'd have given the space to her gladly if she said she was there to say goodbye to a dying relative whilst silently judging her for wasting time standing in a parking space instead of running inside given that time was so precious

My appt went well thank you for asking. Reassurance was short lived though as spotting restarted about an hour ago 😩

OP posts:
saltinesandcoffeecups · 22/05/2023 18:24

And this is why I love my hospital. Free valet parking (24 hours for the emergency Dept) + free self parking after hours and if you’re so inclined otherwise.

Blondey2023 · 22/05/2023 18:27

saltinesandcoffeecups · 22/05/2023 18:24

And this is why I love my hospital. Free valet parking (24 hours for the emergency Dept) + free self parking after hours and if you’re so inclined otherwise.

Um Ok? But this didn't answer OP's question 🤔

Personally I think it's a joke that someone would stand in the space, who does she think she is! Carparks just don't work like this.