Page 6 | Is this incredibly racist or am I being sensitive

howdoesatoastermaketoast · 22/05/2023 16:37

MoonsHaunted · 22/05/2023 15:27

I don’t think he understands the concept of deposit… he shouldn’t start the work until deposit paid. He did so more fool him.

yeah it does sound like there has been a miscommunication, if something is being made to order paying in advance is not necessarily unusual.

At the point he's saying can I have a 50% deposit and I'll start work he is being reasonable, at the point you are completely free to say no (in which case he wouldn't start work).

You're point about not wanting to pay up front to a business you didn't trust is fair, but might have offended him?

"But that isn’t really my issue, my husband didn’t send pics of a Range Rover or a boat or say we were on holiday, he’s being nasty and this is completely made up, but that isn’t my issue either, it’s the subtle racism of his last comments that bothers me."

By the time he's posting about you scrubbing Korma pans etc. he's being offensive and I'm not even sure the racism is that subtle.

NewPinkJacket · 22/05/2023 16:37

Restaurantlover · 22/05/2023 16:26

It saddens me that you don’t see it.
Its like racism has evolved so much, those of us it’s aimed at find it acceptable.

The Dubai trip is rubbish, local people know my husband and I well. Everyone knows he works 7days a week because it’s our business and he wants to look after it.
Everyone also knows that I am can’t stand to both live and work with my Dh so I have a different job.

He has a Range Rover, it’s his WhatsApp profile picture. A lot of people know us locally so I’m not bothered that people will believe him as such, it’s just his subtle racism which is horrible.

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Why on earth didn't you call his bluff and tell him to post the 'photos' on Facebook then?

Cherryblossoms85 · 22/05/2023 16:37

Bit amazed that anyone thinks this isn't racist. To me the shoe shining bit even more so.

JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon · 22/05/2023 16:38

Not sure why people are saying he should be reported to HMRC as a small niche business it is highly likely that he doesn't need to be vat registered.

If he's a sole trader he doesn't have to be listed on Companies House either

UnshakenNeedsStirring · 22/05/2023 16:38

HazelnutD · 22/05/2023 16:23

So another Indian gentleman has been on and said the post is NOT rascist, well done, some common sense at last. Now can it be put to bed?

Hi, I am indian, I find it racist. Your point is?

towriteyoumustlive · 22/05/2023 16:38

Restaurantlover · 22/05/2023 15:10

Have had to nc as incredibly outing.

I enquired about a blossom tree installation in my restaurant, someone got back to me with a quote and I said great what’s his timescales. He let me know a date and I told him it would be suitable but nothing yet agreed.
Next thing I know he says he requires a 50% deposit because he’s ordered the blossom for the tree.
I never asked him to order the blossom, never agreed that the work would actually be done and certainly didn’t agree to give him 50% upfront.

I’ve had to block him as he is continuously ringing and messaging me and is just being plain nasty, to both my husband and I.

I think he’s gone a step too far with this Facebook post though, the reference to scrubbing korma pans and polishing shoes just gets to me, I feel he’s being racist, we have an Indian restaurant but I don’t actually go/work there so he’s obviously made that up to be spiteful.

"I enquired about a blossom tree installation in my restaurant, someone got back to me with a quote and I said great what’s his timescales. He let me know a date and I told him it would be suitable but nothing yet agreed."

I don't see the message as racist. Just odd.

But I can 100% see why this person is pissed off, because you have a contract with them and need to pay, so cannot just block them!

The bits I've highlighted in bold show a business to business contract has been formed. They would be quite within their rights to take you to court for the money.

Did you tell him you were in Dubai? If you did, then it sounds as if a friend of his has spotted you not in Dubai and indeed in your restaurant, so the message they posted just reads as a factual report of what you were doing instead of being in Dubai. It's written by someone who is really pissed off with you and perhaps not the most literate person.

Nothingisblackandwhite · 22/05/2023 16:38

It is racist and personally I would really pissed off by this . If it carries on online with that sort of abuse contact the police

Schroedingersimmigrant · 22/05/2023 16:38

Good play to get away from being a non paying business to victims by diverting attention to what was a subtle racism possibly.

You agree quote, you are in business and deposits are basically a given and would be expected. You changed your mind and the dummy flipped so now you can look like "oh no poor them". If he kept calm, you would be doomed.

PRMachine · 22/05/2023 16:39

Of course it’s subtly racist.

PRMachine · 22/05/2023 16:40

ladykale · 22/05/2023 16:29

OF COURSE THE SCRUBBING KORMA PANS BIT IS RACIST!!!

I wonder if people who can’t see it are racist apologists themselves or just a bit thick.

feralunderclass · 22/05/2023 16:41

There's nothing micro or subtle, the man is not only lying (if what OP says is correct) but he's attempting to racially stereotype you. It's blatant racism.
As a side note, the tree is ugly, do people really pay thousands for these things? Let the 'local' have it for cheap.

SgtBilko · 22/05/2023 16:41

You don’t ask for a 50% deposit after you’ve purchased the materials. That aside, he is clearly being racist and very unprofessional as well. I don’t think he is doing himself any favours here.

SpeckledlyHen · 22/05/2023 16:41

Schroedingersimmigrant · 22/05/2023 16:38

Good play to get away from being a non paying business to victims by diverting attention to what was a subtle racism possibly.

You agree quote, you are in business and deposits are basically a given and would be expected. You changed your mind and the dummy flipped so now you can look like "oh no poor them". If he kept calm, you would be doomed.

Exactly this.

Original poster

Restaurantlover · 22/05/2023 16:41

Helloword · 22/05/2023 16:33

How am I supposed to know he said Indian owners when OP hid it with some red marker.

He is being nasty but he is aggrieved about his loss.
Op, polishing your own shoes is not same as kneeling over to polish shoes of white master.

I would assume OP is a rich restaurant owner , who can afford to spend £8000 on a decorative item for her business and for tradesman it is a lot of money to stock an item like that.
He may or may not be racist. But op should also be careful to not string along and not cause a business loss by using misleading language.

Perhaps one party is racist and the other is capitalist. Both seems to lack empathy for others, given this scenario.

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I didn’t want to go into detail about the actual payment issue because it’s not what my op is about.
I offered 20% deposit, if he wanted 50% deposit he could’ve had the blossoms delivered to the restaurant because it was to be built in situ, I gave him details of the company so he could check out the business on companies house that we are genuine etc. business to business requires a level of trust on both sides, unfortunately I didn’t have it from him, and as I’ve been stung in the past I was weary.

It didn’t constitute the right for his comments, what he out on Facebook was just a snippet, my husband and I have had continuous messages and phone calls, prank orders to the restaurant, for the past 3 days.

OP posts:

Helloword · 22/05/2023 16:41

Tellmeimcrazy · 22/05/2023 16:18

He did say korma pans on FB, he is promoting a racial stereotype which is essentially being racist. For those who say it isn't, even the Asian ones - you have all become so accustomed to casual racism you don't see it.

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What do you mean by racial stereotype? Is korma a bad thing? In Op's situation Op's family business deals with Korma.

Why everything has to be analysed in this way? He is nasty and I am sure he will be equally nasty to a white person if they inquired about the tree in similar way and didn't go ahead with purchase.

CrackerAndPudding · 22/05/2023 16:41

He's clearly a chancer. If he needs a deposit he needs to advise that up front so you can pay to secure the work. He can't begin the work and then ask you for a deposit- it defeats the purpose and would change the terms of any verbal agreement he imagined he had.

If he had delivered the work and then you didn't pay he'd have every right to be aggrieved, but not for a deposit he failed to advise was required, failed to specify the amount prior to starting and failed to secure prior to starting.

Fairydustandsparklylights · 22/05/2023 16:41

You’ve backed out and then to save face, you’re trying to claim racism. The guy sounds like an arse but you’re no better.

Cheletastic · 22/05/2023 16:42

It does scare me how much people deny this is racist. It is a clear example of racism. Why are folk so quick to deny racism?

Tellmeimcrazy · 22/05/2023 16:42

Helloword · 22/05/2023 16:41

What do you mean by racial stereotype? Is korma a bad thing? In Op's situation Op's family business deals with Korma.

Why everything has to be analysed in this way? He is nasty and I am sure he will be equally nasty to a white person if they inquired about the tree in similar way and didn't go ahead with purchase.

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Yes he probably would but that doesn't mean it is right or OK. Pls google racial stereo type if you are interested.

SpeckledlyHen · 22/05/2023 16:42

Restaurantlover · 22/05/2023 16:41

I didn’t want to go into detail about the actual payment issue because it’s not what my op is about.
I offered 20% deposit, if he wanted 50% deposit he could’ve had the blossoms delivered to the restaurant because it was to be built in situ, I gave him details of the company so he could check out the business on companies house that we are genuine etc. business to business requires a level of trust on both sides, unfortunately I didn’t have it from him, and as I’ve been stung in the past I was weary.

It didn’t constitute the right for his comments, what he out on Facebook was just a snippet, my husband and I have had continuous messages and phone calls, prank orders to the restaurant, for the past 3 days.

Show quote history

God it gets worse, so you actually agreed to pay a deposit but just didn't want to pay the deposit he asked for, so you blocked him and now claiming to be a victim of racism. Awful awful behaviour

Greengold123 · 22/05/2023 16:43

You absolutely did order something then mess him about and back out resulting in a loss. Very poor behaviour.

He is also unprofessional and racist.

Aavalon57 · 22/05/2023 16:43

HazelnutD · 22/05/2023 16:23

So another Indian gentleman has been on and said the post is NOT rascist, well done, some common sense at last. Now can it be put to bed?

FFS! Well I am of Indian origin and I DO find the innuendoes in this man's comments racist. Believe me, having experienced racism first hand for years in all its many forms, it's nothing to do with common sense.

flirtygirl · 22/05/2023 16:43

Another thread where the majority of white people on it, can't see the racism.

This is why racism still exists.

Lovemylaminator · 22/05/2023 16:45

Of course it's racist, what the hell is wrong the people on this site?

CrackerAndPudding · 22/05/2023 16:46

Based on your latest update it's even madder that he thought there was a contract in place if you were still negotiating the terms/deposit amount.

Did any money at all exchange hands?