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Original poster

Is this incredibly racist or am I being sensitive

641 replies

Restaurantlover · 22/05/2023 15:10

Have had to nc as incredibly outing.

I enquired about a blossom tree installation in my restaurant, someone got back to me with a quote and I said great what’s his timescales. He let me know a date and I told him it would be suitable but nothing yet agreed.
Next thing I know he says he requires a 50% deposit because he’s ordered the blossom for the tree.
I never asked him to order the blossom, never agreed that the work would actually be done and certainly didn’t agree to give him 50% upfront.

I’ve had to block him as he is continuously ringing and messaging me and is just being plain nasty, to both my husband and I.

I think he’s gone a step too far with this Facebook post though, the reference to scrubbing korma pans and polishing shoes just gets to me, I feel he’s being racist, we have an Indian restaurant but I don’t actually go/work there so he’s obviously made that up to be spiteful.

Is this incredibly racist or am I being sensitive
OP posts:
Stompythedinosaur · 22/05/2023 15:18

I think that telling someone who's given you a quote for work that a quote and date are ok does sound Iike you are agreeing to have the work done. But perhaps they should have got an agreement on paper.

I didn't find the post racist.

Eeeeny · 22/05/2023 15:18

sit back and watch the show
other people will comment
they sound horrible

Fairyliz · 22/05/2023 15:23

Well you agreed a quote and you agreed a date, so that sounds like a contract. However he should have put it in writing and got you to sign to agree terms etc.
Messages on Facebook are very unprofessional, I would not want him to do work.

KVick · 22/05/2023 15:24

I don't blame you for blocking this unhinged, nasty person. It's a good thing you didn't end up doing business with him. His FB post was incredibly racist ""scrubbing korma pans???!!!?" !!

justpushingthrough · 22/05/2023 15:24

Fairyliz · 22/05/2023 15:23

Well you agreed a quote and you agreed a date, so that sounds like a contract. However he should have put it in writing and got you to sign to agree terms etc.
Messages on Facebook are very unprofessional, I would not want him to do work.

It was in writing, she agreed via email if im reading correctly.

And if you didn't agree why did your husband send a picture of your range rover and boat?

hamstersarse · 22/05/2023 15:27

Peoples' lives never fail to amaze me

Did you send a picture of your range rover?

MoonsHaunted · 22/05/2023 15:27

I don’t think he understands the concept of deposit… he shouldn’t start the work until deposit paid. He did so more fool him.

Greenlight1 · 22/05/2023 15:27

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Freshfoods · 22/05/2023 15:27

It appears from his post that you actually ordered the tree. I don't know why he didn't ask you for a deposit before starting the work though.
Also, if someone has seen (your husband/partner) near the restaurant then it's not true that he was in Dubai.
The reference to scrubbing korma pans is racist, but I can't see that polishing shoes can be interpreted as racism.
If he has spent a long time making the tree then you should honour your side of the contract, even if nothing was put in writing.

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 22/05/2023 15:28

So he gave you a price and a date, and you said that was great and suitable, but you don't think that's agreeing to the work?

What's the stuff about a boat and a rr?

Was anyone at the restaurant conceivably washing pots / cleaning shoes that they could have mistaken for you and your husband?

He might be a racist arse, or he might be someone who's spunked a load of money on something you now say you don't want. Or both. It's impossible to tell.

Original poster
Restaurantlover · 22/05/2023 15:29

justpushingthrough · 22/05/2023 15:24

It was in writing, she agreed via email if im reading correctly.

And if you didn't agree why did your husband send a picture of your range rover and boat?

Show quote history

I originally spoke on the phone to him, we then communicated via WhatsApp, I didn’t know it would require a 50% deposit, that wasn’t communicated to me, I wasn’t prepared to pay that much of a deposit for a business I’d found on Facebook, not VAT registered, which I’d asked and he said it’s because he’s an artist, then I couldn’t find any company information on companies house. So I wasn’t prepared to pay 50% deposit, which was 4k.

But that isn’t really my issue, my husband didn’t send pics of a Range Rover or a boat or say we were on holiday, he’s being nasty and this is completely made up, but that isn’t my issue either, it’s the subtle racism of his last comments that bothers me.

OP posts:
DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 22/05/2023 15:30

Did you actually send that message and picture?

He should have got a written contract before starting work but I can see where the misunderstanding came from.

mrschocolatte · 22/05/2023 15:30

If, as the OP has stated, he’s lying about seeing her at the restaurant, there’s a good chance he’s being untruthful about the rest.

SpeckledlyHen · 22/05/2023 15:31

From your OP it sounds like you agreed to buy the tree. And judging by the fact your husband told him you were good for the money and sending him a picture of the range rover it also implies you intended to pay for the tree. To me it looks like you ordered something, changed your mind and are now trying to back out of the transaction. But that's what I am reading from your OP and his FB message.

Original poster
Restaurantlover · 22/05/2023 15:33

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Not mistaken identity, all male staff in the kitchen, and the last message he sent to me before that Facebook post simply said,
scrubbers.

Is this incredibly racist or am I being sensitive
OP posts:
DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 22/05/2023 15:33

Ok, cross post.

He's clearly a loon and I'd be responding to the post saying simply that there was never an agreement or contract and the alleged incidents never happened. Then report his post to Facebook (don't expect much action but give it a try) and him to HMRC.

W0tnow · 22/05/2023 15:33

He gave you a quote and you said ‘great, when can you do it’…. Or words to that effect. He gave you a date which you indicated worked for you.

He ordered the product, and now you say you don’t have an agreement?

I mean, really? We’re not talking about a major house renovation where you’re spending tens of thousands, and of course you’d get everything in writing…..we are talking about a restaurant fixture/decoration. A small business.

And this photo business? Sounds very odd.

I think you’re in the wrong here.

justpushingthrough · 22/05/2023 15:33

Restaurantlover · 22/05/2023 15:29

I originally spoke on the phone to him, we then communicated via WhatsApp, I didn’t know it would require a 50% deposit, that wasn’t communicated to me, I wasn’t prepared to pay that much of a deposit for a business I’d found on Facebook, not VAT registered, which I’d asked and he said it’s because he’s an artist, then I couldn’t find any company information on companies house. So I wasn’t prepared to pay 50% deposit, which was 4k.

But that isn’t really my issue, my husband didn’t send pics of a Range Rover or a boat or say we were on holiday, he’s being nasty and this is completely made up, but that isn’t my issue either, it’s the subtle racism of his last comments that bothers me.

Show quote history

Fair enough then.

Is it racist hmmmmmmmmmmmm i dont think what he said is racist, but i think hes trying to make a point that you are perhaps a different nationality/skin colour/culture so it does infact probably have a racial undertone to it yes.

drpet49 · 22/05/2023 15:35

DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 22/05/2023 15:33

Ok, cross post.

He's clearly a loon and I'd be responding to the post saying simply that there was never an agreement or contract and the alleged incidents never happened. Then report his post to Facebook (don't expect much action but give it a try) and him to HMRC.

This. He is clearly a racist. Report him to HMRC.

W0tnow · 22/05/2023 15:36

Ok cross posted. You might have told us in the OP that the photo thing was made up.

How on earth is 8k for a fake tree ‘great’? I’m in the wrong business.

LoonyLois · 22/05/2023 15:38

You did agree to the work, you asked for him timescales. I think he’s gone about things wrong but then so have you

Original poster
Restaurantlover · 22/05/2023 15:39

W0tnow · 22/05/2023 15:36

Ok cross posted. You might have told us in the OP that the photo thing was made up.

How on earth is 8k for a fake tree ‘great’? I’m in the wrong business.

Sorry I didn’t think it was relevant as it’s not my issue.

The other quotes I got were around 12k ish and it’s a bit of a niche area.

OP posts:
multivac · 22/05/2023 15:41

You may have name changed on Mumsnet, OP, but it just took me about 2 seconds to find the original post on Facebook, from what you've posted here, identifying you and your business.

Original poster
Restaurantlover · 22/05/2023 15:42

multivac · 22/05/2023 15:41

You may have name changed on Mumsnet, OP, but it just took me about 2 seconds to find the original post on Facebook, from what you've posted here, identifying you and your business.

It was more my previous MN posts I was bothered about.

OP posts:
Bramblecrumble22 · 22/05/2023 15:43

You forgot to block out one amin