Ex’s fiancé posting my 4 year old

[fouetter]

My husband and I haven’t finalised our divorce but he is already engaged to his girlfriend, that he’s be secretly with for 10 years. My husband has not spoken to me in a year since i discovered her existence. She is now posting my 4 year old son on social media, and my lawyers complained to his lawyers it was inappropriate, and to my surprise, his lawyers countered the fact I had a private account dedicated to my son (set up within the marriage for mine and my husband’s friends and family), that I was hypocrite as I have an account. But I am his mother… My lawyers seem to think little I can do. I have never met this new fiancé , and think this is inappropriate she is posting our child. Would anyone have any advice?

Talk to her?

Report the posts ? I'm not sure you can do anything can you ?

You are both being taken for a ride by your solicitors. Stop asking them to rob you blind by writing ridiculous letters.
Your ex has the right to give someone permission to put your dc on Facebook.
I'm totally with you - this is utterly crap - but don't waste your money fighting something like this.

You and your ex are equal parents. If he's happy with what she's doing, why does your disapproval outweigh that? Would you want your ex to have power of veto if your mother or sister posted a photo of your child on their social media page? Personally I really would just take a deep breath and let this go. If you don't feel able to, then as a PP suggested, why not articulate your concerns to her, calmly and politely?

You sound jealous because your husband has a new partner. Personally I wouldn't give them the ego boost of thinking you're jealous.

There is literally nothing you can do. Your ex will simply say it's with his permission that these photos are being posted.

Post on her page how sad it was that strangers felt entitled to post photos of another woman's children and without seeking the mum's permission.state she unequivocally does not have any authority or agreement in place to post them so please remove them.
but you know what? I wouldn't look any more at her or his social media.
They are going one way in life,you have a new life,a better life,ahead of you.So concentrate on your happiness and future.🌈

Block her so you don’t see the photos. Tell anyone who matters to you about the divorce and the fact your bastard stbex husband was cheating on you for 10years with this disgusting woman so you appreciate if they never mention her to you.
Get a parenting app so you don’t have to pretend to be civil to the pair of disgusting cheats.
Stop feeding the solicitors.

Post on her page how sad it was that strangers felt entitled to post photos of another woman's children and without seeking the mum's permission.state she unequivocally does not have any authority or agreement in place to post them so please remove them.

The only thing this would do is feed a 'crazy, unreasonable ex' narrative. And perhaps give her and her friends fodder for laughing at you with. And she does have authority - from the father, with equal parental rights.

It sucks, it really does but as PP have explained if she is presumably getting permission from the child's dad then there's nothing you can do about it.

As long as your ex has given her permission, there's nothing you can do.

Your child has two parents - your wishes aren't any more valid than his.

Just to add to the point about jealousy - although, in law, he'll be your husband until the decree absolute, most people who have been separated for a year don't refer to their ex as their "husband" - STBX or ex is more common. If you're going around referring to him as your husband, that will absolutely be feeding the narrative that you're jealous of his new fiancée.

You only need one parent's permission to post/publish photos so if he's given her permission there's not much you can do. Unless they're compromising photos (E.g DC in the bath or something like that) then I think this is one to let go. It's annoying but certainly isn't worth more expensive lawyers letters especially when legally there's nothing that can be done.

I'm not sure what more advice MN can give you. Your lawyers have already said there is little you can do.

Is it inappropriate? Personally, I think it is. But that's only my opinion and it doesn't mean anything.

You can't control what he does, anymore than he can control what you do.

As others have said, having a polite, calm conversation about it would have been better.
But theyve spent money on a lawyer to reply to your lawyers's letter. I wouldn't be surprised if they are not receptive to a calm discussion and tell you to jog on.

The situation sounds very stressful but I'm sorry, there's not much you can do if she has permission from your ex. I know it's really hard to get perspective in the middle of such an emotional situation, but it would be better to stop focusing on what they're doing (however horrible and unfair) and focus on rebuilding your life the way you want it.

Arguing via solicitors' letter about social media is only going to waste your money and make you even more annoyed and stressed.

I totally see why you’re so annoyed about this, but I think you’re on a hiding to nothing by trying to fight it. His images are already on line. It’s not much of an argument to say that only you are able to judge which photos are added and who is suitable to add them, and that his other parent doesn’t have an equal right to do so.

You're both a solicitors wet dream.

No there's nothing you can do. Because the child's father has given permission. That's enough.

So let it go.

Or maybe sit down and have a little think about your child's digital footprint and their own right to privacy. Absolutely ridiculous youre hear bitching about her when you've made an entire social media page for a minor.

Thank you. I am just concerned for our son, and seemed rather odd and not in his best interests.

My husband only speaks via lawyers. So have no contact with her. He won’t do mediation etc.

Was just a milestone page made for family and friends we don’t see as we moved countries. Just came here for so advice. I actually haven’t even posted on that as seemed uncomfortable in divorce as was our family posts. That why shocked a now unused account from within marriage used as their reasoning.

Definitely look at the parenting apps. There’s one called ´my family wizard’ that’s sometimes recommended on here. You can’t keep paying solicitors to reply to letters about ongoing everyday parenting matters. Having something pre-formatted like an app might help you to pass in necessary info without it turning into an argument.

Thank you. Sage.

you dont need to go through lawyers though let him spend his money on them-for trivial things anyway

Thank you.

Thank you.

The judge ordered use of OFW sadly he won’t engage.

Block them both on fb. None of my business but how long were you together if he’s been with you for 10 years? I hope you’re divorced soon, he sounds awful.