That dh invited somebody for lunch without telling me

[Northernlurker]

Single bloke at church, plans fell through so dh said come join us.
Otoh we have enough food and space and it's good to be hospitable.

Otoh I had not CLEANED THE LOO! And we've a daughter doing gcse's whose stuff is all over the dining table and is now being cleared away. And also I've not been 100% myself recently and was planning a big of a chill afternoon.

But then otoh again dh has come home and scrubbed the loo (guest not yet here) and I've been clear I'm still carrying out my planned activity.

And then otoh I've got no PUDDING! And he told him 2.30 and I was really planning a bit before that. And there's little ant traps down in the kitchen so we look plague ridden.

I'm honestly on the fence myself....

Im enjoying your posts OP. And yes the tongue in cheek is quite clear from them!

I can empathise. DH and I once invited several people for Christmas as they would otherwise be on their own. But we didn’t liaise with each other very effectively and ‘one or two people’ became ‘three extra people EACH’ and suddenly we were catering for ten and I’m an extrovert and found out I was pregnant on Christmas Eve and oh gosh it was so stressful no good deed goes unpunished.

plus side: you get to bask in the glory of being A Good Person afterwards.

Got any pudding rice ? Shove a rice pudding in once the oven is empty and serve with some jam or curd or even tinned fruit

Welcome the lad in , he probably would appreciate being part of a family for a few hours more than a Shoshone

Irish?

i have several uncles like this…

I’m a church goer but I wouldn’t pick up the flack from someone whose plans had been cancelled if I want my partners Sunday to relax and if my partner is doing all the cooking.

A simple chat outside the church wishing people well and inviting over them on another planned occasion is just fine. So unless the person looked suicidal, it’s a no from me.
With the obvious exception if it was a very close friend. Very close friends are used to the state of our house…..and my cooking🤣

Well many hands make light work OP, so at least you'll have lunch prepped and the place cleaned in no time.

I used to have people coming and staying to eat at all times, usually friends of son, never thought anything of it. They had to take us as they found us but I kept open house. My mother was extremely inhospitable and I was not going to be the same.

What your husband did was good and what you are doing is also very good. I'm sure you can rustle up a little pudding or fruit and cheese. After coffee leave your guest and husband to chat while you do what you had planned.

Your loss has been cleaned so worry no more, all shall be well as someone famous once said.

@Northernlurker just in case it makes you feel any better my DH has invited 8 people to our house for a catered (by a chef, charity thing) , so 10 of us in total. I hardly know anyone.

OOH he says I won’t have to do anything.
OTOH that’s completely untrue.

He says don’t be a misery. I say this is fucking misery territory 🤣

I hope your guest arrived, ate, made pleasant conversation and left after a decent interval.

We've had a very nice lunch and he declined pudding 😄

Also no obvious allergies and ok with the cat (which I always check in advance)

And I'm up some nice chocolates on the deal

So that's all good

Polish!

My ex-colleague had the same 'problem' with her Turkish husband! I suspect that Brits are veey low down on the hospitality scale, compared to most cultures.

@MatildaTheCat that's a bit rough! I wouldn't like that at all!

I do think it's hard to understand how an introvert feels about unexpected guests if you are an extrovert, the more the merrier etc. And vice versa.

Sorry but you seriously need to chill out.

Get some of this to kill your ants. It works a treat because they take it back to the nest https://www.removepests.co.uk/products/nippon-ant-gel

Yay

Totally understand the stress beforehand but we do need to take ourselves to one side and get over it 😁 life it's for living and all that bollox 😁

Bet you feel good about the "good deed" now 😇

👏 👏

Donyou have a problem with your caps lock OP?

Quite. It's a nice thing to do, please don't worry about your toilet, the guest won't notice that or GCSE clutter, really!

I'm glad! I hope it reassures you!
It was a nice thing you did (plus you got chocs 😄

I'm part of a church too and our culture involves spontaneous lunch invites...I think it's great to open up your home to people if you can. Chuck in a few more roasties and pick up some ice cream from a corner shop - job done!

Not the main point of the thread, but I find it very irritating when (and ok, maybe it’s a bit of an assumption) non-Christians tell Christians how to be Christian. It comes across as a sneery ‘gotcha’.

With some of the Christian’s I know, it’s a well deserved gotcha!

Wow we are very much the more the merrier type of house, this would not phase me in the slightest. This happens sometimes here, dh comes home from work with a friend or the dc turn up with someone too. Take us as you find us.
The house is always tidy, if I knew my toilet was dirty I’d clean it there and then, it’s not a show home but I maintain a clean standard of living that I’m not ashamed of if people turn up unexpectedly.

That's really nice, @TheChosenTwo .

I don’t know how anyone would be ok with this? Letting a complete stranger into your home for lunch? No thank you!

My dh told some random neighbour to just "come up to the house to chat", so I had some randomer turn up on my doorstep who proceeded to tell me her life story for 45 minutes, ranting about how all her neighbours hate her etc. Was. Not. Happy.