That dh invited somebody for lunch without telling me

[Northernlurker]

Single bloke at church, plans fell through so dh said come join us.
Otoh we have enough food and space and it's good to be hospitable.

Otoh I had not CLEANED THE LOO! And we've a daughter doing gcse's whose stuff is all over the dining table and is now being cleared away. And also I've not been 100% myself recently and was planning a big of a chill afternoon.

But then otoh again dh has come home and scrubbed the loo (guest not yet here) and I've been clear I'm still carrying out my planned activity.

And then otoh I've got no PUDDING! And he told him 2.30 and I was really planning a bit before that. And there's little ant traps down in the kitchen so we look plague ridden.

I'm honestly on the fence myself....

As it's your shared space and it affects you, it would have been polite for your OH to check before extending an invitation.

I also do not like people 'dropping by'. I've two young children, the place is often not how I would like it to be, but I put my children's needs before having a spotless showhome.

Hopefully the man from Church knows when mighty be appropriate to say thank you and leave and not hang around all afternoon 😆

Ha ha! This reminds me of my late FIL. He was the kindest and most hospitable man, but even my wonderfully chilled and accepting MIL used to be occasionally driven mad by this kind of thing.
She wouldn't turn a hair at feeding an extra person, but he went beyond that! Once he even invited someone to come on holiday with us (and they said yes) without telling anyone until nearly the last minute!

He would have given anyone the shirt off his back and was loved dearly, but jeeeze.

Do your best and,given that you are so upset, speak to dh about needing some planning for guests please in future as you don't wish to be uncomfortable in your own home.

Discuss days in the week which are fine for a guest and days that are not.
Discuss preparation he needs to do before church (including giving you a heads up) including cleaning, cooking and tidying - so that you can cater for guest.
Discuss other places he can host guest if it is really inconvenient to you or daughter to have such short notice.. like the pub or Red Rooster.

I'd be pretty pissed off. We only cook as much as we'll eat, so I wouldn't have enough for an extra person if I didn't have enough warning. Plus I'm an introvert and need to prepare myself for the different dynamic of hosting a guest vs normal family dinner.

@Northernlurker YABU. This is a guy from your church. Unless there is a back story about DH springing last minute plans on you all the time, or the guy is the Archbishop of Canterbury, it’s just Sunday lunch. I thought going to church was all about the #bekind to fellow man /woman and all that jazz 🤷‍♀️

Drama llama! It’s 1 person not a hoard, you could get off mumsnet and do a quick clean 🤣

I think you’ve missed the tone of this thread..
Op is obviously being semi light hearted.

You sound fun, OP. I think your guest is going to have a lovely time. Can I come too? I can bring the cheesecake... Just noticed, it's too late. You've probably already sat down. Hope it went well.

I totally disagree with you on all points, OP (I am happy to have randomers at any time, and my house is a "shit tip" - they have to take it as it comes) - but you sound lovely and I am sure that your unexpected guest will enjoy his lunch as a result.

I would be very unhappy about this. I don't like being signed up for things without any discussion beforehand. Husband would be doing the cooking, that's for sure.

3+ people I would be a tad pissed off as I would panic about having enough food, but 1 or 2 wouldn’t bother me as I could always stretch what we had out in that instance. But my oh would defo also be the one doing the emergency bog scrub!

IMO you only ask people round at short notice if you're the one who will be cleaning/tidying/cooking etc.

This would piss me off.

I thnk the OP is taking the piss out of herself a bit.

OTOH (😁) it does depend on who the person is, too.

Someone you all know well who you feel comfortable around, isn't judgey and will muck in - fine. Someone you don't really know, not.

Does the cleaning really need doing though or is that self imposed?

She says her DH can cook but not a Sunday lunch which is probably the easiest meal to make. So has she decided she will cook and not actually let DH. Who knows? The fact that OP seems so stressed suggests she may have decided for herself that she is the only one who can do all this rather than saying Crack on love.

I’m with you @BirbFriend
Id be stressed about toilets, cleanliness making conversation etc
If I wanted a relaxing Sunday I wouldn’t want guests over invited at the last minute.

You are being too uptight about this, relax!
You are doing a nice thing and he will remember the welcome not how shiny the loo is.

First world problems. Your husband was being Christian

What's the obsession with pudding? Can't tell you the last time I ate it

Agree you should not impose things on others who are doing all the work.