AIBU to tell 8 year old to entertain themselves at 7am on Sunday morning

[naturallydelicious]

Every weekend morning without fail as soon as she opens her eyes my 8 year old keeps telling me and my husband to get up
Out of bed . This can be as early as 6am . She keeps saying she's bored or she has nothing to do& will keep going on about it until one of us gets up . Bear in mind she has a room full of toys , books , puzzles , arts and crafts , a tv and iPad so loads to do . We never stay in bed past 8.30/9am on weekends and we're both up at 6am Mon to Friday . I usually get up when she insists because I feel guilty lying in bed when she asks me to get up . But ,this morning after her moaning at us to get up I shouted at her to go play in her room and I'd get up soon . I now feel awful ... was I being unreasonable?

Blimey!
Who's the parent here? You sound scared of your 8 year old.
You need to re-establish some authority here.

@darjeelingrose - of course I'd expect an 8 year old to be able to sit and watch a film or play on their own for a few hours in an afternoon. But I'd not be asleep in bed. I'd be pottering in and out, checking in with them, probably bringing them a snack or drink at some point. They would know I'm around for company even if I'm not playing with them or sat next to them on the sofa. Quite different to expecting them to get up and amuse themselves for at least 2 hours while I'm still in bed.

Erm… I would very much expect my kids to be capable of entertaining themselves if I was busy from 1pm - 4pm. We work full time, so we are often busy for a couple of hours at the weekend doing jobs or getting things organised for the next week, or (God forbid) reading a book or having some time to ourselves! My kids know that if they can’t play in the garden/out/with toys while we do jobs then we can’t go doing fun things.

Our of curiosity, when do you get all your cleaning done and manage a bit of time for yourself if you think it’s unreasonable to expect a child of 8 to play or watch TV for a couple of hours?

It really isn’t different. An 8 year old can go two hours without being served snacks and drinks and constantly attended to. In fact I think it’s actually good for them to do so! At 8 a child can get themselves a drink or snack if they want one, and start working on their independence. To me the way you describe checking constantly on an 8 year old while bringing them snacks and checking in on them watching a film sounds like how you’d parent a toddler.

And if she was desperately lonely and couldn’t cope without her parents next to her I’m sure she’d be happy to lie next to them in bed as she’s been offered. She doesn’t want to.

@Kanaloa I don't mean I'm attending to them constantly (although over the space of 2 hours I probably would bring them a drink when I make one for myself), I just mean I'm there as a visible presence rather than asleep in bed (so I might - over the course of those two hours - come in to dust the front room or put things away, read a book on the sofa myself, be working from home at the dining table or just generally they'll hear me pottering around so they're not alone in the same way they would be if I was shut away upstairs.

They’re not alone though. The girl can go up and lie in bed with her parents - they’re not ‘shut away,’ she simply does not want to be in their room and wants to force them to get up and go where she wants. An 8 year old is (or should be) capable of managing this. They don’t need someone constantly available to them while watching TV.

I'm still having this at 16 (DD) and at 11 (DS)! Every single weekend one of them wakes me up to get them food - usually around 8am. Christ they are so spoilt!

Surely you don’t get out of bed to cater to a 16 & 11 year old at their demand? If you do then they’re not ‘so spoiled’ they’re just taking you for an absolute mug, and you’re doing them no favours.

You are being unreasonable insofar as it has been every weekend and you are only just expecting her to stop.

Give her a list of chores to do (empty dishwasher, fold laundry, pair socks, set table etc) and say she can come in when everything is ticked off the to-do list.

Set out a jigsaw or something in her room and tell her she can't come in your room until she finishes it.

Or tell her to write out her spellings/times tables/complete her homework before she wakes you up.

Or put some cereal on the table and tell her to help herself to breakfast and wake you when she's done.

Not unreasonable to want a lie in but it is unreasonable if you aren't setting up alternatives for her to keep her entertained and stop her waking you up. She is 8 and probably needs your guidance on this.

@Kanaloa I know, bonkers aren't I?! DD will only eat poached eggs on toast (which she "can't" make herself) and DS, well I can't resist that face when he comes in asking for food! I do worry that I'm making it harder for DD when she goes Uni but she'll probably find some other mug to make her poached eggs then 😂!

8?? At 8 they can make some cereal; play a few games, read or watch some TV without supervision until you're up.

Seriously!

Grow a backbone

Just wow!
Is this real?

I was shocked enough that the OP's 8yo was apparently unable to entertain herself for 2 hours in the morning and get her own breakfast.

But seriously? Do you consider you are doing a good job as a parent when you are apparently raising your offspring to be totally unable to look after themselves and thus expecting them to find some other sucker to take care of them. You sound almost proud of how totally useless they both appear to be. I would be embarrassed.

When DD was 11 she had been getting her own breakfast for years. At 16 she was taking a turn to cook family dinner one night a week.

Absolutely nuts 😂 when I see my kids’ faces asking for food at 8am on a Sunday the only thing I can’t resist is the urge to punt them out a window like Miss Trunchbull.

@Kanaloa I love this - I need to be more like YOU!

@5foot5 @LittleBearPad Come on guys, you're being too serious about it all...I actually posted for fun but you're slagging off a mother for being too nurturing, pfft whatever! I think I am like this because I lost a child and because of my own childhood. Each to their own! I think I will look back and feel happy with the kind of parent I was/am.

We can swap kids if you like! My big tip is just to not be very good at cooking poached eggs 😂 if I could cook poached eggs DD might wake me up every morning. Somehow a bowl of Frosties doesn’t entice them out of bed and into my room the same.

Gawd. I used to love weekends when we didn’t get up till 10 or 11 when I was a kid. I had hours to sit in my bed and play with my toys or read, and pestering my mother was the last thing on my mind. Getting up for breakfast was for her to decide, not me.

she's trying to dictate to us and then sulks and complains when we don't give into her immediately

This is behaviour that should always be nipped in the bud regardless of the issue.