AIBU to tell 8 year old to entertain themselves at 7am on Sunday morning

[naturallydelicious]

Every weekend morning without fail as soon as she opens her eyes my 8 year old keeps telling me and my husband to get up
Out of bed . This can be as early as 6am . She keeps saying she's bored or she has nothing to do& will keep going on about it until one of us gets up . Bear in mind she has a room full of toys , books , puzzles , arts and crafts , a tv and iPad so loads to do . We never stay in bed past 8.30/9am on weekends and we're both up at 6am Mon to Friday . I usually get up when she insists because I feel guilty lying in bed when she asks me to get up . But ,this morning after her moaning at us to get up I shouted at her to go play in her room and I'd get up soon . I now feel awful ... was I being unreasonable?

Yeah obviously a toddler is totally different. I just judge my SAHM friend with one nine year old slightly when she tells people they should be up at 6:30 on a Saturday or else we’re denying our kids quality time 😅

She’s 8. Tell her what you want. Repeat and repeat and repeat. She’s manipulating you . Be the parents and don’t feel bad for catching up on your sleep.

I’d be telling my friend to come back to me when she’s working fulltime. What a dick!

😆 she’s the only one in our friendship group who stays at home so it’s usually met with a collective eye roll 😂

Thanks everyone.
So we've had a nice calm chat . We told her she's more than welcome to come into our bed for a cuddle or to read , iPad time with headphones but she is not to tell us to get up just because she wants to get her own way.

We told her there would be consequences ( zero treats for the week ) . I need to hang firm & stick to my guns on it if next weekend she does it again . I feel like if we don't deal with it when it's on this small scale then she's gonna go through life expecting people to do exactly as she wants .

She's a super kid , she's funny , kind , clever , well behaved and very independent & I rarely need to pull her up on anything that's why I feel guilty for not giving into her .

My 5yo gets handed an ipad at 7am and 9yo goes on Minecraft for up to 2 hours at the weekend.

I used a marble jar when my daughter was young. If she went to bed well and stayed in bedroom until a reasonable time she got a marble in her jar. I think 10 marbles = a treat. It worked so well!

Sounds good OP, I think you definitely have to go into "consequences" territory for this one, it's not reasonable at all that she wakes you up so early, and you need to teach her to be respectful. It is of course reasonable to expect a healthy eight year old to be able to entertain themselves until 9, especially as she can get her own breakfast. You need to reframe the whole thing in your head though, if you don't nip this in the bud, you would be doing her a massive disservice, so follow through on the consequences if it happens again.

YANBU at 6 am but I think you're being a bit unreasonable to expect to both stay in bed and have her entertain herself until 8:30-9.

At eight? With an older brother, lots of toys and breakfast available? If you expect very little of your kids in the basics like this, then you make this sort of rod for your own back, that doesn't actually help your child.

@darjeelingrose Yes I do think that when the household is up early Mon-Fri and the child is clearly in sync with that and wakes up at her normal time everyday, it's unreasonable to ignore them for 2.5-3 hours of their morning at 8 years old. She clearly wants / needs her parents' attention. Nothing wrong with asking her to entertain herself for an hour or so, but longer is a big ask at this age. You wouldn't expect them to be alone without parental company from say 1:00-3:30 / 4 in the afternoon, that's the same timescale.

I do find this a bit sad. What about Sunday morning sports matches or sleepovers ? I would be a bit 🤔if my child went on a sleepover in primary school and the parents didn't get up until 11.

I used to wake up super early as a kid and be bored out of my brain.

However there was nothing on tv that early back then. I also didn't have a lot of toys and never a lot of food in the house.

I can't imagine waking up with access to cartoons, games, food and a sibling and feeling the need to wake a parent before 8. I never woke my mum up even when I was bored. If I'd had Netflix and cereal I'd have been in my element!

@Neurodiversitydoctor

Sports matches are Wednesday nights and Saturday mornings

Our children sleep until 9.30-10 on Sundays

We don't tend to do sleepovers on Saturday nights for this reason (Sunday lie in) but if we do, I get up earlier as our children would also be up earlier.

So thanks for your sadness but it's not needed, we are all quite happy and the kids enjoy their chill time on screens before we are up and out again

Yeah I was gonna say if you've been doing that for three years your child was 5 and you don't get up till 11? I have a 5 year old and can't imagine lying in bed till 11.

To the people saying 6am isn't early...that's not the point! She's 8 and been asked/told multiple times not to behave in this way and is stropping and being a pest until she gets what she wants. I don't accept that from my 3 year old (well I accept/ignore, but it doesn't get her what she wants!). And also...6 IS early! We have always treated any wake up before 7am as a 'night wake' and the kids get taken/settled/sent back to bed as appropriate based on age and situation. If you're an early bird/martyr that's fine for you but don't pretend it's negligent not to want to be woken at 6am every day by an 8yo!

@BiffChipsandKippers thank you !
I don't want be up baking with her at 6am on a weekend , I don't think that makes me a bad parent.

6am is very early for a weekend, 11am is very late though.

DD has never stayed asleep past 6.30am, since she was 5 she's been allowed to go downstairs from 6.30am and watch TV. I leave something on the kitchen table for her to have for breakfast, originally it was just cereal or a pain au chocolate but she can now safely and competently use the microwave (9yo) so she'll make scrambled egg, porridge, waffles or pancakes.

She WANTS her parents' attention, but does she NEED it? You seriously, would not expect an eight year old to watch a film for a couple of hours on an afternoon? Why not the morning, then? It's a reasonable expectation. Her parents are there, she can go in bed with them, she can read and watch the i pad with headphones with her parents. What she can't do is demand that they get up. So does she actually need their attention? She does not. And a good parent teaches their child that though they are considerate of their wants and needs, the world does not revolve around them, and that's what the OP has done.

Want ≠ need.

She's not lonely - her brother is there.
She's capable of getting her own breakfast.
She has plenty to entertain her.

She's just being controlling.

Sometimes I do expect my children to entertain themselves in an afternoon for a couple of hours? If we've been busy in the morning, they'll have downtime in an afternoon and I might have a cheeky snooze. I have 3 kids, they have all the tech and toys in the world, they're perfectly capable of entertaining themselves.

@Ollifer she sleeps until half ten and would usually go later if her brother left her to it! She has always been a good sleeper since a baby. It's one day a week, it's really not a problem.

It's no different to you getting up at 8 if your child gets up at seven and watches TV for an hour.