AIBU to tell 8 year old to entertain themselves at 7am on Sunday morning

[naturallydelicious]

Every weekend morning without fail as soon as she opens her eyes my 8 year old keeps telling me and my husband to get up
Out of bed . This can be as early as 6am . She keeps saying she's bored or she has nothing to do& will keep going on about it until one of us gets up . Bear in mind she has a room full of toys , books , puzzles , arts and crafts , a tv and iPad so loads to do . We never stay in bed past 8.30/9am on weekends and we're both up at 6am Mon to Friday . I usually get up when she insists because I feel guilty lying in bed when she asks me to get up . But ,this morning after her moaning at us to get up I shouted at her to go play in her room and I'd get up soon . I now feel awful ... was I being unreasonable?

Does she go to bed 2 or 3 hours later at the weekend? If not, you're setting her up to "fail" (get up at the same time as normal). It's actually healthier sleep to maintain static bedtimes and wake times, so it could be argued that yours and DHs sleep is unhealthy here, not hers.

Is she demanding in other ways? Sounds very bossy and as if she wants to be 'head of the household'. A child doesn't get to tell you how to lead your life.

My 5 year old has to play in her room until at least 7:45 on weekends, or can come in our bed and do something quiet like watch cartoons on her tablet with headphones. This morning she happily pottered around in her room until 8:15 playing with her dolls house. I would definitely expect an 8 year old to be able to amuse themselves for an hour or two. 9am is maybe a bit late if she’s awake at 6 though.

Then today you set up some rules, not just a chat. Agree for an acceptable time for her to come get you, 8 o'clock maybe? If she wakes you up early and strops then there will be consequences. For example you'll be too tired to do x,y,z. Or if she's that bouncy and bored she can have breakfast and then tidy up her room/do some chores. Then stick to those rules and be consistent,without giving in. No need to resort to shouting.

The issue is not that she wakes up, the issue is that she expects her parents to be up with her.

Mine is 8 and we have a rule at the weekend which is don't come in before 8.30.

If she has access to a tv and iPad then I don't get why she's hassling you?!

Crikey, my 5 year old does this, gets herself up, plays the kindle or with her toys and we have left cereal on the table with a little jug of milk in the fridge so she can make her breakfast if she is hungry straight away.

She knows she isn't allowed to wake us up before 8:30 on a weekend and 7:30 on weekdays, she has a clock in her room

One of us is always up by 8, which I think is fair enough as DS is an only child. I wake up by 6, so he sometimes comes in for a cuddle but if he doesn’t he reads until 6:30, has some screen time, then plays.
You definitely need consequences.

Dh 9 has woken up and watched TV or.played for an hour or so since he was around 6.

Well in that case!! No she shouldn't be hassling you to get up.

Sod that. My dc are 9 and 11. They get up and go off to do what they want on weekends. When we haven't got their sport matches on we have a lie in! Usually awake by 8.30-9, doesn't mean I want to get out of bed.

The 10 year old brother was a bit of a drip feed 🤣

@CoronationKicking apologies 😅

This morning when my husband got up with her because "she was starving"she then decided she didn't want breakfast because she wasn't actually hungry and then sat on her iPad ignoring him !

PrincessHoneysuckle is that legal?

I think shouting at her, or at the very least being very firm, was justifiable. You say you had already had conversations with her about this, including one yesterday, so she was deliberately disobeying you. She needs to know that there are boundaries she does not cross.

YDNBU. She needs to start entertaining herself in the morning, consequences if she ignores you and wakes you up super early for no particular reason etc.

Set some toys up in the living room - they all have lots of toys but can’t always choose what to play. I used to put out the dolls house or my little ponies and they would walk in and play without thinking. It’s about training her to entertain herself. She tries to get you up… “no I’m sleeping now.” Repeat.

Oh and put breakfast on the table so she can reach and help herself.

As a child my only TV time at the weekend was when mum was sleeping. Was definitely my incentive to not wake her up 😝

Why would it not be? How would you even police it?

For the last year or so, my now 7 & almost 5 year olds have been getting up & going downstairs & helping themselves to breakfast (we have wrapped chocolate croissants they are allowed to help themselves to for precisely this reason) turning on the TV & amusing themselves until I get up a short while later. This all started as I work nights / lates & wanted a wee bit more sleep!

Yanbu, my 6 and 8 year do this perfectly fine. She is old enough to entertain herself.

Of course she should be entertaining herself. And she should have been doing so for years.

Well based on your last update she’s taking the piss and you’re letting her dictate your mornings. If I was DH I would have gone back to bed.

mine play on their tablets/ Xbox until I’m ready to get up.

Maybe she needs some consequences. We spoke about this, you still did it so less iPad time or you won’t be doing something she wanted.

Each to their own but if both of my dc were up naturally at 6 or 7 am on a Sunday then that’s when I would be getting up. It’s a phase that won’t last forever. Do some baking with them or walk the dog early.

At least that way, dh and I would have a child-free evening. I wouldn’t be able to lie in knowing my two dc were up and about and in to everything and I dislike that feeling of chasing your tail all day when your dc are up before you.

Obviously if the dc are up at 6 am having been told not to get up before a certain time then you have to follow through on that. But I would be looking at the causes.

Are they going to bed too early? Eating too early? Are they not getting enough physical exercise or mental stimulation? It might be none of those things and they are just naturally early risers. But as parents you can usually influence going-to-bed-times and waking-up-times a wee bit.