DH leaves the house without saying goodbye

[nogoodbye1]

I've NC as I am embarrassed that this bothers me so much.

Basically DH sometimes leaves for work without saying good bye in the morning and it upsets me. Not in floods of tears or anything just like 'oh fine bye to you too'

He will say he thought we were asleep and didn't want to wake us. But baby DS was winging/ chatting in his cot. I was awake in our bedroom. By the time I heard him getting in his car I was up battling with a wiggly DS who was screaming that he didn't want his nappy changed.

I wouldn't want him to wake us but if he had a quick check to see by opening the kitchen door it'd be nice!

I've phoned him before to say why didn't he say good bye and he knows it bothers me.

If this is your only problem in life, count yourself lucky. Just remind him again when he gets home.

DH does this and it drives me bonkers - I think it's so rude!!

No advice though I'm afraid, just sympathy. As PP said, there's worse things and I'm guessing it's just what happened in their house growing up, so I'm making sure I model to my children how it's done. 🤣

I'm terrible at leaning without saying goodbye! If my DH leaves first, he always gives me a kiss before leaving. Me I just leave. I'm too focused on the day by the time I leave. Sorry DH

This really wouldn't bother me 🙈

I only tell DH I'm going somewhere if it's different to my normal routine or if it means he needs to be "in charge" of anything.

Why does he need to say bye, you know when he’s going !

I think some families are 'announce your departure' families, and some families are 'leave without fanfare' families. Sounds like you and DH are a mismatch.

It would annoy me too. What if that was the day one of you died

Yanbu. I’d find it rude and thoughtless. DP kisses me and baby DD goodbye, even if we’re still in bed.

I'm with the OP.

Dh leaves before I wake up, if he woke me to say goodbye I'd be unimpressed.
If I'm awake when he leaves I always let him know I'm awake by saying good morning and asking for a kiss, that way he knows it's wanted.

This annoys me too when DD does to me it in a morning, even though I'm standing a couple of metres away in the kitchen. I think it's a teenager thing in her case.

I hate my DH half of the time but we always say and usually kiss goodbye

I do this but I normally say something like 'Right, I've got to go to work,' and then bugger about for another 20 minutes. In my head I did announce my departure.

I mean, I'll be back in a few hours. We don't need fuss for something as everyday as leaving the house for work.

Exactly!

Yes I am lucky if this is the only thing bothering me in life right now.

My family don't do anything quietly and we always always kissed mum before getting out of the car at school. I didn't one day when I was about 7 and was so worried all day and gave her the biggest apology and kiss at collection time.

YABU you know where he is going

DP and I just yell "BYE" from the hallway as we leave. If he's on a different floor I don't check that he's heard. We tend to be aware of each other's plans for leaving the house anyway so it's nothing unexpected, if I did decide to go out spontaneously I'd let him know.

Often I'll yell "BYE" then faff around for another 10 20 30 more minutes before getting my shit together so when I eventually leave I don't provide any update.

I like a calm start to my morning if I'm leaving the house to go into the office so I sneak about like a ninja so I don't have to see anyone before I leave.

Otherwise I end up getting everyone else ready as well as myself before I go. I do that every other day of the week.

If you are at home with baby I totally understand why this bothers you. This could be the only bloody adult contact you have for HOURS. It's a lonely time anyway, a quick conversation in the morning would have made a huge difference to the start of my day when I was a SAHM recently.

I’m with you OP, we always say goodbye without fail. Only takes a second! It shows care.

This would drive me nuts along with people not saying hello. Why don't some adults have basic manners ? I know, there is adhd, anxiety etc but if you can go out on your own you can bloody well say hello/goodbye.

It's rude and dismissive, as though you aren't part of a relationship. I don't like it either. A simple "I'm off to work, see you later" is all it takes.

Yes I get you. Life is so fragile.

This would upset me too tbh, I always tell my dh to drive carefully and stay safe when he goes out. Until the day he went out for a walk with the dogs and came home with a broken ankle, now I have to tell him to walk carefully and stay safe too!!
I'd worry if I didn't get to tell him 🤣🤣

Presumably your husband is leaving for work early. If you were up with him I think it would be rude not to say goodbye. If you're not, you would like him to come upstairs (quietly) and poke his head round the door and say goodbye....and it upsets you if he doesn't.
This is one of those dilemmas where its a case of irritation v hurt. In this case I think your hurt is unreasonable so l would not be appeasing you. Having one additional unnecessary chore first thing in ghe morning would irritate. It stinks of Princess to me and seems very needy and entitled. I'm genuinely surprised you contacted him at work to express your hurt.
How about if you're awake you come downstairs and kiss him goodbye at the door.

What?! How is that relavent?