Child never picked..

[Idontknowwhy1]

My child's communion is in a couple of weeks & loads of children have been given roles in the mass... My dc had her reconciliation in Feb, the teacher said whoever doesn't get a role will have something in the communion mass.. My dc has been given nothing in this either & is so disappointed. Especially as the teacher said that those who didn't get a part in the reconciliation would have a part in the communion mass.. I feel so disappointed on my childs behalf, please talk sense into me. I don't want to be that parent!

Being an amenable and therefore overlooked child is soul destroying. Having meek parents too afraid to stand up for you sets them up to repeat the cycle.

I would frame this differently. Being assertive is a skill, and a very teachable one. Stoicism is as well. We aren't parenting children solely, we are also raising effective, happy adults.

Teaching our children not to fret all night for asking for something they want should be the focus, not whether you get to sing. And being OK if you don't.

Do you have school age children?

Reread your email. We are taking about a parent dropping a teacher a line about a event re her 9 year old

and you approach it like a solicitor in a messy divorce case writing to the ex’s solicitor!

if you can’t work it out for yourself, I would hazard a guess that you often miss the mark and / or have no experience of school aged children and engaging with teachers

But why not? I'm my children's school's every single child gets a role in the mass. With three classes that could be approx 70 children making their communion. There are all sorts of things they can do.

Oh my, really?? Fair play to the school got organising it that way. Personally seems a bit excessive to me. Is it not enough to be celebrating the sacrament of communion? Why is it only special if you have a role to play? 🙈

Update!

The teacher emailed back to my rather abrupt email to say dc is now singing a song with a couple of others. The other children were originally chosen & dc is joining them.. So that's fine, I was thrilled for dd who is absolutely ecstatic to get a part..
However instead of being chosen directly the teacher brought dc out of class to let her know I emailed her about how upset dc was.. Had some sort of chat with her then asked her if she wanted the part.. Why the hell did the teacher tell dc I emailed?!

@Confusion101 that's how it is with all the schools around here.

Because the child was so upset that you emailed twice and she wanted to check if the child was OK? It's probably not anything sinister or intended to get at you.

You're making all of this extremely personal. It appears that you feel got at in some way.

That's a good thing. Assertiveness worked. Teacher is being open and honest. Child is good.

You seem to be focused on protecting your child from negative emotions rather than teaching her how to deal with them, process it and move on in a healthy, happy way. Assert herself, ask for what she needs OR (and this is big) move past it if she decides she doesn't want to ask.

It's OK to be passive, it's OK to be assertive. You just have to learn to deal with the consequences of the approach you take. You want your DD to think everyone was passive but get the assertive prize. That's not healthy.

Nothing wrong with teacher telling your DC that. You seem to be overthinking this.

It's a positive outcome. You wanted your child to be included and she is.

Just a heads up

the op started another thread on this same issue in chat.

and has now posted 50X.

I would hazard a guess that things might not be quite as they seem chez @Idontknowwhy1

Having read all your posts, I suspect the teacher was concerned about your daughter because you had given the impression that she (and you) were on the verge of throwing yourselves off a tall building unless she got a part

very very strange!