Child never picked..

[Idontknowwhy1]

My child's communion is in a couple of weeks & loads of children have been given roles in the mass... My dc had her reconciliation in Feb, the teacher said whoever doesn't get a role will have something in the communion mass.. My dc has been given nothing in this either & is so disappointed. Especially as the teacher said that those who didn't get a part in the reconciliation would have a part in the communion mass.. I feel so disappointed on my childs behalf, please talk sense into me. I don't want to be that parent!

Contact the teacher and very politely ask about it. It may be an oversight in which case the teacher will probably fix it. You can bet other parents will have asked. Sometimes you need to be ‘that parent’ to fight your DCs corner. You never need to tell your DC you have done this.

I know nowadays where I am it's normal for every single child to have a role in the first communion ceremony . No one gets left out. I was at a friends child's communion party in Saturday afternoon and it was commented on that the mass had been lovely and every single child had been involved. I know it was the same when my DD made her communion in a completely different school. I see no harm in raising it with the teacher

Genuinely curious about which points are laughable. It's always good to see the world from different perspectives.

I am a teacher and I can confirm that that email would be very low down the list of laugh-inducing emails we receive from parents!

@Dahlietta is it worth sending one?

I would send one! Probably along the lines of "Just wanted to let you know that DC was really disappointed not to get a role. I wondered if there's any little job you could find for them to do" You might find that they say, sorry, no, but they might remember next time they're giving out jobs!

Your post says child 'NEVER' picked. Does that mean that this has happened before and he is being singled out by the school? If so, you could just mention to the teacher (or better still get the kid to) 'what can X do to work towards being given more responsibility/chances). If it's a one-off over the communion, it could just be one of those things.

I would have a word with the teacher in person rather than sending an email.

And I would not give a shit about the staff room laughing at a parent for asking that their child should not be overlooked. Some children are, especially if they are quiet and easygoing and tend to be compliant, and their parents are the same.

@TheYearOfSmallThings dc is quiet & very compliant but is very sensitive & has really taken this to heart.. I think an email will probably work best. I do feel I need to start advocating.

P. S thank you to everyone who replied. I thank the Lord for mumsnet at times like this. DH doesn't want to contact the teacher..

Ignore the comments Re staff havi g a laugh about an email op, any decent teacher would deal with this. They might be hacked off at creating themselves extra work by not allocating parts fairly but that's tough.

Yes, speak up, as previous posters have said, some children and parents are quiet and it's easy for them to be overlooked either accidentally or to appease the gobsh*te parents.

There are easy issues here:

Teacher said anyone without a role in reconciliation would have a role in communion - did they make it clear it would be the opportunity of a role or implication it was guarantee of a role?

Pupils who have had a role in reconciliation have got a role in communion causing some pupils to have two occasions to have a role rather than another pupil have a chance.

Favouritism towards PTA pupils.

You should feel confident approach g tje teacher about this, whether it be by email or face to face.

@LadyHag I've just sent a very polite email highlighting how upset dc is.
I'm not sure if the outcome will change but I'm glad I advocated for my dc & I guess I would be kicking myself if I let it go..
When I was growing up it was the kids of prominent families (my mum calls them "the big shots" my dad called them "the big shits😂), pta kids & teachers kids who got everything. My mum never dreamed of complaining for fear of being branded a" troublemaker "...

Did you mention the other children who haven't had jobs in either?

@GoodChat no just about my own child who is genuinely very upset. Some kids might not want a role or might not care.

Equitable picking of children is probably the least of the problems with the catholic church.

No they might not but it'd make it less obvious you complained if other children who'd been missed out were given roles too

"he said teacher said if somone had a job at the reconciliation they wouldn't get one at the communion service"

This does not imply that someone who didn't have a job at the reconciliation WOULD get one at the communion service. There are probably aren't enough "jobs" to go round, even between the two. They've just said that the same kids won't be used twice, to give as many as possible a chance.

May I suggest investigating whether there are jobs he can do at the regular services? Some churches have youngsters acting as servers, or they might be able to join the rota for reading lessons, or there may be other regular jobs.

Here we go... 🍿

@GoodChat I'm not expecting dc to be given anything.. Chatting again there & it transpires that at least 4 children with parts at the reconciliation have parts again at the communion..

I've emailed. I work full time so I'm neither at drop off or pick up.. Not expecting a reply obviously until school hours tomorrow, if I even get a reply! Not sure what I'm expecting the outcome to be tbh but at least I didn't let it go. I necer need to contact dcs teacher so hopefully it's taken in the right manner.

Apologies, shameless bump😩

Isn't this a good time for the blah blah meek shall inherit chat?

Not religious but isn't this stuff sort of the point. I mean in my house it would be "life isn't fair" and move on. My DD was never picked either. For the opposite reasons (total PITA when she was younger!).

Would you say the same to a Jewish or Muslim poster?

Of course they wouldn't.

Email sent let's see what the reply is if I get one...