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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I report benefit fraud?

181 replies

Greeksummer · 14/05/2023 18:49

Firstly, this isn’t a benefit bashing thread. It’s something I feel hugely conflicted about.

A couple I know is committing benefit fraud and have been for quite a few years. They live together with their school aged child however, the dad is not actually down as being at the address so their rent is paid for as the mum works part time, as well as single persons council tax discount. The dad earns a very good salary (not 6 figures but for where we live in the UK it’s a lot of money) so there’s absolutely no excuse for it. I know the mum better than the dad and she’s quite open about it all and money in general. Both of their parents’ help them out as well - regularly buying their weekly food shop, covering the costs of their child’s school uniform every year, school trips etc (no issue with parent’s helping out if they’re able to, I’m just highlighting that they’re in no way struggling financially).

It just makes me so cross as I know a disabled person who’s benefits were stopped as they were deemed not disabled enough and had a horrendous ordeal trying to get them back. I think it’s so wrong that they’re taking money they’re not entitled to and don’t need when so many people are struggling. However, I’m also aware that it’s a drop in the ocean compared to what millionaires and billionaires get away with hence why I’m conflicted as to whether I should report it or not.

YABU - keep your nose out, people get away with much worse

YANBU - it’s wrong and you should report it

OP posts:
Username84 · 14/05/2023 20:46

I know a couple of people doing this, I haven't reported them either but have distanced myself. The one that really gets me is the one using it to save for a deposit for help to buy.

LaDamaDeElche · 14/05/2023 20:48

ilovesooty · 14/05/2023 20:42

No one seems very keen to say that they'd tell someone to their face that they were going to report them, do they?

Funny that! At least give them chance to stop to avoid the fall-out for the children, starting with an honest face-to-face conversation. I found that funny when another poster said only wimps wouldn't report this, but all the strong, moral brigade don't have to balls to actually tell their "friends" that they're going to report them.

Original poster
Greeksummer · 14/05/2023 20:49

I’ve already said I’m not going to report them @LaDamaDeElche but perhaps she should think about the consequences of committing fraud, no?

OP posts:
Sapphire387 · 14/05/2023 20:52

She's genuinely going about saying openly that he's living elsewhere and she claims as a single parent?

I'd probably say to her she could get herself into trouble.

Sometimeswinning · 14/05/2023 20:58

LaDamaDeElche · 14/05/2023 20:40

Nope. I'd do it because I feel strongly about it. I'm not the worst. I'm most definitely above stealing money. On the plus side me being a bitch won't cost you a penny in tax. You're either a total wimp with zero morals or you're leeching off the system yourself Ah, I see, you think it's your perfect moral compass that would bring you to do this? And people who disagree with you are either wimps with no morals, or leeching off the system? Gosh, aren't you arrogant to think that because you would be salivating with excitement to snitch on people and stick your nose in their affairs that that makes you better than others. I can't say the word on here what it makes you, as my post would be deleted, but I'm sure you can use your imagination. I seriously hope you haven't done anything morally questionable or committed any kind of crime (speeding etc) in your life, as that would make you a hypocrite too. My thoughts would be with the kids involved and the potential fall-out for them, which can sometimes be devastating in these cases. I'm certainly not going to be party to destroying a child's life as their parents end up in massive financial trouble or even with a criminal record. No thank you. I'm quite happy with having that moral compass. If it was abuse or something like that it would be a different story.

Course I have! When I was younger I most definitely had zero moral compass. These days, I don't speed. I don't steal. I do judge to be fair. I also may have cut someone off the other day!

I grew up. I can see the difference between someone taking the piss and being entitled that they are owed something and those who do something out of desperation.

The op is talking about someone well off who is taking what they can get. You knock yourself out defending them though. I can tell you now they wouldn't worry about you struggling. People who commit fraud are notoriously known for looking out for number 1!

You've called me a snitch so far so please don't hold back anymore!! 😂I won't report your post.

LaDamaDeElche · 14/05/2023 20:59

Greeksummer · 14/05/2023 20:49

I’ve already said I’m not going to report them @LaDamaDeElche but perhaps she should think about the consequences of committing fraud, no?

Of course she should. No one's saying that what she's doing is right, however, the consequences on her children could be devastating. Should she take this into account - of course, but personally it's not something I could live with.

Original poster
Greeksummer · 14/05/2023 21:05

She says it in a sort of off the cuff way. The house is local authority so if she has to phone about something needing fixed and an inspector or workmen come out she’ll say obviously DP couldn’t be there as he’s not down as living here. But then will brag about how they’ve spent literally hundreds and hundreds of pounds on their child’s birthday presents or a fancy holiday.

Where we’re from, things like this aren’t exactly unusual and few people would even consider it a crime. No one would really bat an eyelid in most circumstances because 9/10 times people will be doing it to make ends meet. That’s not the case with this couple and that’s why it’s so frustrating.

OP posts:
Friendofdennis · 14/05/2023 21:06

What they are doing is so wrong. But instead of reporting why don’t you challenge them. Next time she talks about money you could say ‘I wonder why you think it’s right to claim benefits when you don’t meet the criteria to receive them?’

StarDolphins · 14/05/2023 21:08

I absolutely would report them, without question.

KittyAlfred · 14/05/2023 21:09

LaDamaDeElche · 14/05/2023 20:19

Anyone who tells you to ignore benefit fraud has a reason to do it. I don't commit benefit fraud so I find it so bloody annoying that all my taxes increase to support people who take advantage of our shit system Nonsense, I have no reason whatsoever apart from I think the kind of people who do sneaky stuff like this and smile at those same people in the street are the worst kind of people. It's always the kids who suffer in the end. Snitching on someone when it's none of your business and doesn't involve any kind of abuse is always done by a certain type of person. Unless you have lived a faultless life, keep your nose out of other people's affairs.

@LaDamaDeElche Would you be happy to give me some of your money ? I don’t really need it but I’d like some extra please.

Greenfairydust · 14/05/2023 21:09

In this case I would report them.

They are brazenly taking money that they don't need by lying about their circumstances and have done so for years.

It is theft and fraud, pure and simple.

They deserve to be found out and to have to repay the money.

I would never report a single parent who might be doing some cash in hand work on top of their benefits to make ends meet for example, but in this instance this is just a case of people taking the piss.

As for those saying ''this is unlikely to be true''. Great. Then they have nothing to fear even if the OP reports them and it turns out they are entitled to everything they get...

''@Axahooxa
YABU!!! what do you think you’ll achieve? ''

isn't obvious?

How about helping stop two brazen fraudsters and making them face the consequences of their action? this is tax payer money they are stealing. Benefit money doesn't just grow on trees...

KittyAlfred · 14/05/2023 21:11

Robinni · 14/05/2023 20:42

Yes she would as the claimant, depending on how long it’s been going on and what they can prove.

If he is maintaining a property of his own/paying bills there and they have separate finances, then it’s not fraud, as you can stay over in partner’s house several nights a week.

There may be other reasons they are doing this - if the mum and/or the child have disability (hidden) then it wouldn’t work for them all to live together - she’d be utterly ruined financially. That could explain why the parents are helping out so much too.

Show quote history

I very much doubt she’d go to prison. There’s no space anyway.
Lovely to see the “hidden disability” mentioned though - can’t believe we had to wait for page 2 for it !

giggly · 14/05/2023 21:12

This issue always irks me. I have a close colleague who is claiming UC while her partner lives with her. Their combined income is around £65k and UC and CoL Grant on top of that.
I raised with her recently that as a single income / single parent household that her behaviour is really unfair which she agreed with but doubt that she has stopped claiming.
Pisses me off as I’d only be about £150 a month down if I dropped from 38 hours. to 22.5 and backed up with UC but then my pension and moral compass would take a hit.
There must be millions at it every day.

Throwncrumbs · 14/05/2023 21:24

Applesandraspberries3 · 14/05/2023 19:08

Personally, I couldn't. Not sure why as I know it's wrong. I'd feel like a coward reporting someone anonymously and continuing to have a relationship with them secretly knowing I'd done that.

I completely understand your frustration though, although you won't get much sympathy on mumsnet (benefit threads never go down well and a lot of people seem to think benefit fraud doesn't exist for some strange reason)

I have a family member who has claimed as a single parent for years even though she was in a long term relationship with her daughters father and he earned a good wage whilst she worked part time and claimed benefits (I think they were bringing in at least 3k a month as well as having the rent paid and council tax discount). That went on for 7-8 years, then they split and she is now with someone else and he has moved in. They even said in conversation a few months ago that he would keep his mothers address as his main residence so she could continue claiming benefits as a single parent.

I work 40+ hours a week and earn less. Does it piss me off? Of course, but what can I do. It's family and I wouldn't be able to look at her again if I reported her. It's not worth it.

At least I can sleep at night knowing that I've not broken the law for years. Personally, I feel that the government might it too easy for people to commit benefit fraud too.

You are an idiot

Throwncrumbs · 14/05/2023 21:28

Username84 · 14/05/2023 20:46

I know a couple of people doing this, I haven't reported them either but have distanced myself. The one that really gets me is the one using it to save for a deposit for help to buy.

The irony of a benefit cheat saving to get a help to buy, they still have to have an affordability check for a mortgage and they do a check on income to see where the moneys come from, won’t look good claiming benefits fraudulently!

bellabasset · 14/05/2023 21:29

@Greeksummer My sister had a friend who served a short prison sentence. When she queued outside to visit she found it upsetting to see the children waiting to see their mothers. In some cases their rented homes are taken away. Many of these mothers were in prison for fraud.

We lost a lot of money due to being the victims of fraudulent misrepresentation in a business deal before it would have been a criminal offence. But we were fortunate enough to be able to take it to a civil trial, which took a week, and then the costs were taxed. Despite this I'd hesitate to report this.

towriteyoumustlive · 14/05/2023 21:31

I'm shocked at the 25% that day don't report it. Why wouldn't you?!?

Paul2023 · 14/05/2023 21:35

If the partner is earning good money , why are the family getting help with their food and uniform shops from their family?

If they are that well off, why would they rely on financial support from family?

I wouldn’t necessarily report them but people who take the loss out of the benefits system do make me angry. There are genuine people out there who need help.

nildesparandum · 14/05/2023 21:50

My NDN have been doing this for years.I do not report them as I do not want a brick thrown at my window.

BananaPalm · 14/05/2023 21:52

Camillasfagwrinkles · 14/05/2023 19:01

Of course you should report them. They're stealing money from taxpayers and making life difficult for all the people claiming honestly. They're dirty, dishonest criminals.

This!

firsttimemum1230 · 14/05/2023 21:55

It’s none of your business and it still isn’t even when she’s sharing or bragging. I would have to dislike a person to grass on them to be honest. Whether they are doing the wrong or right thing.

gimmeme · 14/05/2023 21:59

I personally would not.

RaininSummer · 14/05/2023 22:00

Report them and it will be investigated. It's not fair on people paying taxes for benefits for the money to be going to people who are not entitled.

Zanatdy · 14/05/2023 22:10

Report them

underneaththeash · 14/05/2023 22:16

Oneglassisnotenough · 14/05/2023 18:53

Aah man. I would keep my nose out of other people’s business. But that’s me.

assumi g you pay tax, they’re stealing g from you too.