DH hates his life and want to “kill himself”

[Alwaysmyfaults]

When I met DH 7 years ago he was on his own had a good job and a ok amount of savings. He was going on holiday regularly with his family so obviously that became the norm to him.

Fast forward 7 years later 3 kids, it’s so bloody hard we go on holiday once a year now. I work full time he works part time and runs a business which is slowly taking off and will pay off in the end.

His mum and dad and his brother are always bragging about there next holiday. It eats DH up as he can’t go. “I fucking hate my life” “rather be dead” “can’t do anything anymore”

I can’t stand listening to it! It is what it is we’re not in there position. They don’t have young kids and that’s ok.

AIBU to be annoyed with him? I actually don’t mind our life. It’s hard I wish I could spend more time with my kids and go to more places. But it is what it is.

@Floralie because they are still my family?? Not bitter at all. As I have said many times on this post I am happy with my life and I am ok with one holiday a year.

Someone mentioned his family were wealthy and I responded. That they only have the wealth they do is from lying and hiding money.

If he is depressed he needs to visit his GP.

He could take the DC away himself?

He wants to die because he can't go on holiday more than once a year?

No, there's something much deeper at work here. His tax dodging family may have something to do with it, I don't know, but this is deep and complex. I don't mean to do the "why did you have kids" thing, but what were his reasons to have three? I'm not asking to be pointlessly judgemental, I'm trying to get a grasp of his thought and decision making processes. It might explain things.

I'm self employed too, if I didn't pay tax and lived in a council flat I would be taking 6 long holidays a year plus buying some diamond rings along the way. It sucks to be a law abiding citizen 😂

Plus why did he have 3 children? did he think the unicorns would come and take care of them while leaving him a stash of money. He's working part-time and expects 6 holidays a year???

Your husband lives in la la land, he's really into magical thinking. Tell him to grow up and get a grip. Or get rid of him because he sounds like a toddler.

Is his father Pop Larkin?

Why the fuck should she?!!

Eloquently said

He sounds like a spoilt petulant child. Of course people with no dependents and a decent income can holiday more than a family with 3 kids. He needs to start counting his blessings - his own business which is going well, a family, being able to afford at least one holiday a year which isn’t a given for everyone.

I’m not above envy, but it’s something you have to deal with. I know someone who plasters every holiday on Facebook and it gets a bit much when it’s every school holiday - all half terms, eater, summer, Christmas. But that’s life, I like a post and move on with my life. If I’m particularly down I unfollow her a while.

Pretty pathetic to be honest, you know they're committing fraud but are quite happy for that as they're family and you'll no doubt one day hope to benefit from some of it. That's good you're happy, your husband evidently isn't though and that's going to cause huge issues.

His family sound weird if they do not have the emotional intelligence to realise how he is responding to their bragging. Can he get try to get excited about activities with the kids and appreciate time with them.

Wow - why did he have 3 children if he dislikes what they bring? 3 in under 7 years means a lot of changes to your lifestyle

What's the family business? How is it that successful but flown completely under HMRC's radar?

Oh yes, poor man with such a horrid wide who doesn't "let" him swan off on fancy holidays while she works full time and juggles 3 kids. And assuming she's the higher earner from the op, I assume you expect her to pay for it too? Jesus Christ.

Op your husband needs to grow up and appreciate what he has.

He's clearly been spoilt through his family's ill-gotten gains. Hope your husband is more honest than the rest of his family! New car, Amsterdam and a holiday still to come? He's a dick.

He sounds awful. I'm sorry but what a tantruming manchild. How is the hell is going to cope with a real problem?

Urgh, op, you must be beside yourself with frustration watching your dp write off your family life as nothing but a burden while he stomps his feet, complains about holidays and threatens to kill himself - while you support him to build a business.

I'm not sure what I'd do but I'd need to have some hope that things could improve and some reasonable time frames about the progress you need to see or I'd be cutting my losses.

There are self employed people who have wads of cash. I worked in plant and tool hire. A lot of customers did cash jobs evenings and weekends. Their bosses asked the clients to buy all the building materials to stay under the vat threshold. It still goes on. There's an army of Pop Larkins out there.

Poor planning. If he saw his life as having multiple holidays and he didn't want to not go without even for a short period, he shouldn't have had three kids or got a well paying job that gives a regular income from the get go ...... or ask his family for tips on tax dodging

Why should he have another holiday and not OP and the 3 children?

I’m sorry if it came across that way, it would have been this bit if I was depressed at that time
if not then what do you hope to achieve by being such an ungrateful sack of shit?

I wouldn’t say we was struggling as our life is still ok I know people have it much worse. But everything we want or do is saved up for.
however we can’t afford to go on 6+ holidays a year. It’s just not possible! Not that I could get the time off work anyway! So it’s tough.

How on earth is any of this tough? That you need to save for what you want or do? This is normal life and you should count yourself lucky you have money to save up. New car and decent holiday every year. You both seriously need to get some perspective. You also sound like you expect more and think it's unfair that you don't have it. Sounds to me like you have everything you need so please open your eyes to how lucky you are.

Is anyone else feeling slightly irritated reading that someone is upset at the idea of only one holiday a year? I haven't been on holiday for years and am going on my first one since my son was born soon. Took me 5 years to save for it. Chuffed to bits and will start saving again as soon as I'm back. Certainly doesn't cause me to sulk and throw around empty suicide threats.

I agree. It’s really blinkered of him to behave like this when he’s not exactly hard done by!

Exactly, and I'm someone who spent a lot of my 20s travelling. He should be grateful that he was able to go away a lot, but be even more grateful now that he can do it once a year with his family and give his children that experience. Priorities all wrong!