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Original poster

Blamed for something at work that's not my fault

295 replies

kangaroopelicanartic · 14/05/2023 15:18

I work in a private house as a housekeeper to an older couple. They have no young children but have grandchildren who visit very often. The oldest is 8, the youngest 18mo. I work Mon-Fri and have worked for the family for nearly four years.

Last Wed when I went in, I noticed a bottle of bleach in the cupboard under the sink in the utility room that didn't have a cap. I put it on the shelf on the wall where the kids can't reach it and told the lady I'd moved it because I didn't think it was safe to have an open bottle of bleach where the children could reach it. I moved it again on Thur and Fri and again said why to both of them.

I've just had an angry phone call because the littlest grand child found the bleach and tipped it all over herself. She's not hurt (thank god!!!) but it has ruined her clothes along with her mum's.

The family want me to pay to replace them. Both of them are denying that I'd warned them about the bottle and moved it out of reach multiple times. They're Boden clothes and there's no way I can afford to replace them. No one is believing me when I said I'd moved the bleach multiple times. The husband actually said "we know it's your fault so just stop lying."

I'm absolutely devastated because it's always been a good place to work and in general I really like the family. Now i feel like I can't stay because the trust is broken. I just don't know what to do!

OP posts:
ExtraOnions · 14/05/2023 17:15

I still don’t understand how an 18 month tips bleach on themselves. Even with the cap missing, the nozzle has a valve, and you have to give it an adult strength squeeze to get it out.

Scottishskifun · 14/05/2023 17:16

ExtraOnions · 14/05/2023 17:15

I still don’t understand how an 18 month tips bleach on themselves. Even with the cap missing, the nozzle has a valve, and you have to give it an adult strength squeeze to get it out.

Depends on the size of the bottle some larger ones free pour

Irridescantshimmmer · 14/05/2023 17:16

You say you always moved the bleach out of reach of the child, so it looks like someone was moving the bleach to where the child could reach it again.

If this is correct then they are making a fraudulant accusation, because you always moved the bleach to the top shelf, out of reach of the child, like you claim to have done.

I suspect that they are trying to pull a fast one and demand money from you.

If they do, then threaten them with legal action ( even if you don't plan to take out legal action) sometimes, this is enough to make these two money grabbing so and so's, back away from you.

Without proof, these two don't have a leg to stand on.

I strongly advise you to move on and clean for someone else.

AlisonDonut · 14/05/2023 17:22

I'd probably tell them 'thank god she didn't drink it, which may have happened if it was still in the cupboard. Get a lid for your bleach you numpties'.

Cheesecakeandwineinasuitcase · 14/05/2023 17:26

Wow, they sound like horrible people and now they’ve shown you their true colours and how little they think of you. I couldn’t work for people like that. Please don’t give them a penny OP.

Startyabastard · 14/05/2023 17:26

Bastards!!!!
This is how people are exploited in work.
I'm so sorry this has happened to you.

Oldtigernidster · 14/05/2023 17:29

is this a set up? Have you seen the clothes? Definitely don’t pay it and threaten legal action for defamation.

Whiteroomjoy · 14/05/2023 17:33

kangaroopelicanartic · 14/05/2023 15:49

18 month old. I'm assuming she tipped the bottle on herself because I've stopped her a few times when she's been pulling stuff out of cupboards.

Show quote history

This is the important point. That she is already known to pull stuff from cupboards.
As an homeowner with children visiting regularly, all cupboard containing items that could hurt children must have child locks on them. Whilst you took it out of cupboard and put on shelf, the point is they and parents should have made sure it was in child proofed storage . They and child are extremely lucky there was not a more serious accident
I’d be saying, it is not your responsibility to arrange the fitting of a safe storage facility for chemicals - that’s their job as home owners. And it’s their job to ensure it is used correctly. It is their job to ensure all chemicals stored in the house have the correct safety devices fitted including child proof lids,
the chemical was left completely, in your opinion, in an unsafe situation, you raised it with them and took what you thought was the best course of action open to you. . Whilst they’re now saying they didn’t hear you , you have done the best you can for what is Clearly, even now, an unsafe home . You are not responsible for the damage, it was their duty to ensure such an issue could not have arisen in the first place.

Whiteroomjoy · 14/05/2023 17:35

ExtraOnions · 14/05/2023 17:15

I still don’t understand how an 18 month tips bleach on themselves. Even with the cap missing, the nozzle has a valve, and you have to give it an adult strength squeeze to get it out.

Hmm, no, it does tip out , albeit slowly , which is why I assume they’re not dealing with a child in hospital with severe chemical burns.

GingerCoi · 14/05/2023 17:41

Yep, I'd go in tomorrow, collect your stuff as quickly as possible and then hand them your letter of resignation and leave.

Follow up with an email stating the facts - that you moved the bottle, when and who you informed each time and that you will therefore not be paying to replace clothes. Any further attempts at contact will be ignored.

It's shit for you OP and I can totally imagine why you feel awful over it but, as others say, they've shown their true colours and you're best off out of it. Who knows what they will pin on you next?

ehb102 · 14/05/2023 17:43

My advice is to get angry and stand up for yourself. Bullies crumble when you do that.

Lavenderflower · 14/05/2023 17:44

The family is act fault here - they clearly were not supervising the child. Babies and toddlers touch everything thus need close monitoring and supervision.

CosimoPiovasco · 14/05/2023 17:52

If you have a key just let yourself in.
Collect your stuff.
Tell them they kept moving the bottle to a dangerous place and you are the one that kept putting it in a safe place.
You are not to blame.!

AnyMucca · 14/05/2023 17:53

The reason why rich people are rich is because they're tight.

Clarinet1 · 14/05/2023 17:54

Frankly, this only thing I can think that the OP did that was U was to leave an open bottle of bleach anywhere under any circumstances - shelf or cupboard, resident children, visiting grandchildren or not - bleach can be dodgy stuff!
However, given that the OP did not own the bleach to dispose of and had clearly warned the employers about it and taken action by placing the bottle in a high shelf, I agree with those who say she should stand her ground and leave the job giving an explanatory letter. I also agree that the child, who made a habit of pulling things out of cupboards should have been more closely supervised. What if she had opened a door and got out onto a busy road?

oldperson1 · 14/05/2023 17:54

They have house staff nanny and they are asking you to stump up for some children’s clothes, I don’t think so !!
I would just text them say because of what they have blamed you for even
though you’re not too blame you will not be working for them anymore but will be collecting your belongings tomorrow. Short and concise.
CF’s they should have been looking after the child they’re lucky is didn’t turn out a lot worse.
💐 Sorry you’ve had to deal with this. Good luck

Enfys1982 · 14/05/2023 17:55

I’d just tell them to fuck off. Seriously. Who even has a housekeeper in 2023? Who do they think they are? Lord and Lady of the manor? If they can afford to spend seventy quid on kids clothes that they will grow out of in a month then they can afford to replace them. Sound like a right family of Hyacinth Bucket types.

Original poster
kangaroopelicanartic · 14/05/2023 18:01

Clarinet1 · 14/05/2023 17:54

Frankly, this only thing I can think that the OP did that was U was to leave an open bottle of bleach anywhere under any circumstances - shelf or cupboard, resident children, visiting grandchildren or not - bleach can be dodgy stuff!
However, given that the OP did not own the bleach to dispose of and had clearly warned the employers about it and taken action by placing the bottle in a high shelf, I agree with those who say she should stand her ground and leave the job giving an explanatory letter. I also agree that the child, who made a habit of pulling things out of cupboards should have been more closely supervised. What if she had opened a door and got out onto a busy road?

The house is on a busy working farm which is even worse because there's all sorts of dangerous stuff around!

OP posts:
Eurodiva · 14/05/2023 18:04

Bodenesque · 14/05/2023 16:22

Tip top advice

Show quote history

This really is good advice z!

Therealjudgejudy · 14/05/2023 18:07

How awful OP.

Collect your stuff tomorrow and then hand in your letter of resignation

CloseCurledLeaf · 14/05/2023 18:11

kangaroopelicanartic · 14/05/2023 15:37

Because the couple kept putting it back under the sink!

Show quote history

Thank goodness, you did post this, beats me why people were asking you this, when it was really obvious

Sadly these people are never going to admit they are the cause of the upset, and that they are at fault.

CloseCurledLeaf · 14/05/2023 18:13

Enfys1982 · 14/05/2023 17:55

I’d just tell them to fuck off. Seriously. Who even has a housekeeper in 2023? Who do they think they are? Lord and Lady of the manor? If they can afford to spend seventy quid on kids clothes that they will grow out of in a month then they can afford to replace them. Sound like a right family of Hyacinth Bucket types.

Clearly they are potentially elderly, to have grandchildren, and if not wealthy, so have stuff to do everything.
I know a rich farming couple who are exactly in these circumstances, but they are elderly, and quite lovely
Perhaps forgetfulness is starting in one of them, which could well be the reason for this. But you would assume their daughter would realise it

WoollyRosebud · 14/05/2023 18:23

I would keep a resignation letter short. No need for anything about enjoying working for them. They won’t be interested in that.

Dear employer,

with regard to our conversation of (insert date and time) and your false accusations: I regard this as constructive dismissal and on that basis please take this letter as my resignation to take immediate effect.

yours sincerely
kangaroopelicanarctic.

You could attach a document detailing the accusations and the timeline of what had happened regarding the bleach.

CrotchetyQuaver · 14/05/2023 18:23

Honestly I wouldn't go back. They're way out of order, this is a terrible way to treat someone after 4 years working there.
I would message them saying you're sorry this has happened, it's exactly why you kept moving the open bottle up on to a shelf out of a child's way. Yet someone was always moving it back after you'd left.

You can't afford to replace the clothes on the wages they pay you and perhaps it would be better all round if you left. I bet they won't want you to leave and have to do their own cleaning until someone else replaces you.

If they do take you up on it, I'd consider advertising your services elsewhere at whatever the going rate is in your area.

No body needs to work for people like that, I have done in the past, got the sack when I asked for a pay rise. There are better people to work for out there!

AllegraWalterJones · 14/05/2023 18:23

YANBU at all OP! They sound horrid!
Also how can they jump straight to blaming you? Anybody in the household could have moved things (as they have done themselves) so if my toddler did this it would be MY fault for not supervising her!

The fact that you warned them makes it even worse.

Did you warn them verbally or in writing?

They are a bunch of cowards and I hope there's a way of telling everyone so they never get staff to work again. Who knows what potentially fatal accident could happen if they are that lax with the kids, and which poor sod will be forced to take the blame for it!