Blamed for something at work that's not my fault

[kangaroopelicanartic]

I work in a private house as a housekeeper to an older couple. They have no young children but have grandchildren who visit very often. The oldest is 8, the youngest 18mo. I work Mon-Fri and have worked for the family for nearly four years.

Last Wed when I went in, I noticed a bottle of bleach in the cupboard under the sink in the utility room that didn't have a cap. I put it on the shelf on the wall where the kids can't reach it and told the lady I'd moved it because I didn't think it was safe to have an open bottle of bleach where the children could reach it. I moved it again on Thur and Fri and again said why to both of them.

I've just had an angry phone call because the littlest grand child found the bleach and tipped it all over herself. She's not hurt (thank god!!!) but it has ruined her clothes along with her mum's.

The family want me to pay to replace them. Both of them are denying that I'd warned them about the bottle and moved it out of reach multiple times. They're Boden clothes and there's no way I can afford to replace them. No one is believing me when I said I'd moved the bleach multiple times. The husband actually said "we know it's your fault so just stop lying."

I'm absolutely devastated because it's always been a good place to work and in general I really like the family. Now i feel like I can't stay because the trust is broken. I just don't know what to do!

I think you will find they take it out of your wages.

well they have shown their true colours. Don’t pay and send a text explaining you feel deeply upset that they are pegging the blame on you when you last used bleach x many months ago and each time you discovered it out you put it away on a high self for safety.

Even if it HAD been your fault, it’s totally ridiculous to suggest you pay (accidents happen) - it’s also not the point, the point is the bleach was accessible.

Don’t engage with the parents of the kid. Talk to your employers tomorrow. Very firmly stand your ground and start looking for another job.

It’s a horrible situation but just try and step back from it, and tell yourself you won’t be there much longer.

Go back with a friend to collect your belongings and say you are not going back.

Go and collect your stuff. They sound like awful people. Never mind about a reference - use an employer from previously, or a friend for a character reference. They don't deserve your time anymore.

I agree with this. To go back would be to accept blame for the bleach incident and therefore it would be a form of admission that you lied (which you did not). If, in your relationship between you and them, you allow them to call you a liar and you accept that label, then you could be blamed for anything in the future, and your "past lie" would be justification for blaming things on you. In addition, these are people who did something unsafe multiple times, were notified of it multiple times, then denied you notified them, and blamed that thing on you. They lied in a very blatant way. They know they lied! You know they lied! They know you know they lied and yet they are still trying to pin this incident on you! It's so blatant! How on earth could you trust that in future they wouldn't make up all kinds of stuff and try to lay the blame on you?

You can’t get on the good side of arseholes because they haven’t got one!

Best things is to collect your stuff and leave.

As grandparents with young children regularly visiting they should have adequate safety measures in place such as keeping utility rooms closed off, cupboards with hazardous stuff locked, stair gates, dangerous chemicals out of reach and with safety caps on etc. and as your employer under COSHH regulations they have a duty of care regarding hazardous substances too.
The grandparents are negligent reagarding the bleach and whoever was supervising the toddler was negligent there too.

My cleaner hoovered up £600 earrings. I know it was her because she mysteriously took the hoover bag home with her and the following week one earring reappeared. I just asked her if she had the other one, and she said no. That was that. We all make mistakes.

They have house staff and nannies but are asking you to pay for the clothes. How outrageous. Even if you did leave the bottle there (which I know you didn't) it isn't your fault. The mother should have been watching them. They should have locks on cupboards with chemicals in them. If you feel nervous about getting your things. Take someone else with you. If they say anything explain as you have been called a liar by them previously you didn't feel comfortable attending without a witness.

Your mistake was leaving £600 earrings on the floor😮

Tell them you are treating yourself as constructively dismissed and hand them a letter stating what happened and when re the bottles. Keep a copy of the letter to show future employers should they wish to know what happened.

Turn up to collect your stuff and hand them the letter and leave immediately. Take a friend or someone with you in case you need a witness after too as to what happens when you go to collect your things

I can't imagine anyone to have dealt with a fairly serious accident of a child being covered in bleach and instantly want to replace the clothes she is wearing. Who cares about the clothes?

Also how does a young child reach a high shelf? Had they put it back to under the sink by any chance?

There's something quite off-putting about a family who own a house large enough to require a full time housekeeper and daughter to have a nanny when not at work asking for money from what I would imagine is a lower wage employee to replace their clothes.

They're not your friends and they have no respect for you. Remind yourself it's a business relationship and issue them with notice explaining the reason why.

Tip top advice

even if you remove the issue of the missing bleach cap, The family is negligent in multiple ways

they are storing chemicals at child height in an unlocked cabinet. There should have been a child lock on the cabinet.

they were not supervising the child

Then add back in that they knew there was an open bottle of bleach which is hazardous just sitting there emitting fumes and they did not either find the lid or properly dispose of the bleach.

I;m sorry that this happened to you.

Certainly going by NM posts, quite a number of people are really horrible to their cleaners and treat them abominably.

It’s awful that they are blaming you. I would try and spin it around and say you cannot work for them anymore because you did your best in moving the bleach and if they are going to just move it back into the danger zone and then have the nerve to blame you, you’ll never be able to trust them again. And make it known how devastated you are that they are treating you like this.
Surely though, if the bleach was in the cupboard and the child got hold of it and that’s where they keep it anyway - how can it be your fault?

Put your position in writing. Arrive tomorrow, get your things and hand a letter over, similar to this (rough draft for you/others to tweak):

“Dear employer,

It’s disappointing that you are attempting to hold me financially responsible for an accident that occurred when I was not at your property. I’m sure you can understand that - legally - liability for this accident lies with the person or persons supervising the LO at the time. Clearly, this supervision was insufficient and you should seek reimbursement from that person or persons.

At this time, I feel unable to safely continue working for you. It is clear from your obvious anger in our telephone conversation insert date* that you are determined I should compensate you for this accident. This is completely unreasonable.

I have enjoyed working for you for years and am saddened to leave, but I cannot remain somewhere where I risk being falsely accused, or am forced to accept guilt for things I am not culpable for to avoid repercussions.

Please accept my immediate resignation.

name”

I dunno. Something along those lines? I don’t know what the position would be on the reference and I’d personally be tempted to mention it, but not sure how…

Do NOT pay for the clothes; that would look like guilt. Don't even respond to that demand.

I would write a formal letter listing the two dates you found open bleach bottles, exactly where you found it, where you put it and why , who you informed and their response.

"For all your sakes, and the future safety of everyone please accept I am telling the truth.

" I feared such a spill and did everything possible to avert it. The responsibility lies elsewhere; that person has wrongly accused me. Whatever the cause of their denial, on no account will I risk any further false accusations and false blame for danger and accidents in your home.

Therefore I resign with immediate effect. "

sign.

Make three copies; keep one, send the others by recorded delivery to your employers, and to the parents of the children at their home address.

I’d be taking advised from ACAS.

Advise

Advice

I get paid every friday so am paid up to date thank god!

I would go back and collect your items of clothing etc

I wouldn't get into an argument with them either.

Id be inclined to write them a note and then if they try to talk to get you into an argument give them the envelope and tell them to open after you have left.

Write in the note

I had enjoyed working for you, To blame me for something that happened when I was not in the property is unfair. I have no control on what happens in your home when I am not present. Three times I moved the bleach last week to a higher shelf, someone else moved it to a shelf when I was not present. Unfortunately after the way this matter conducted I no longer wish to continue working for you. I am finishing with immediate affect.

By writing the note, putting it in an envelope and leaving it stops the argument and they may think money is contained in the envelope, this will hopefully allow you to collect your items of clothing and leave pronto without another horrid interlude where they refuse to acknowledge their responsibility in this event.

such a shame when people blame the innocent party

you'll find other work im sure as housekeepers are rare beings and in demand

@90stalgia Well I left them on my bedside table actually, but yes, still my fault. I probably should've clarified that my cleaner is still with me and the OPs employers are complete twats, IMHO.

Pick your items up and leave I'd also bring someone with you as a witness.