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Original poster

Blamed for something at work that's not my fault

295 replies

kangaroopelicanartic · 14/05/2023 15:18

I work in a private house as a housekeeper to an older couple. They have no young children but have grandchildren who visit very often. The oldest is 8, the youngest 18mo. I work Mon-Fri and have worked for the family for nearly four years.

Last Wed when I went in, I noticed a bottle of bleach in the cupboard under the sink in the utility room that didn't have a cap. I put it on the shelf on the wall where the kids can't reach it and told the lady I'd moved it because I didn't think it was safe to have an open bottle of bleach where the children could reach it. I moved it again on Thur and Fri and again said why to both of them.

I've just had an angry phone call because the littlest grand child found the bleach and tipped it all over herself. She's not hurt (thank god!!!) but it has ruined her clothes along with her mum's.

The family want me to pay to replace them. Both of them are denying that I'd warned them about the bottle and moved it out of reach multiple times. They're Boden clothes and there's no way I can afford to replace them. No one is believing me when I said I'd moved the bleach multiple times. The husband actually said "we know it's your fault so just stop lying."

I'm absolutely devastated because it's always been a good place to work and in general I really like the family. Now i feel like I can't stay because the trust is broken. I just don't know what to do!

OP posts:
853ax · 14/05/2023 16:40

Sorry to hear this happened to you.
I agree with posters re a letter.
Good luck, sure would be great to get advice from someone who knows employment laws but will be hard know that by tomorrow.

PuppyMonkey · 14/05/2023 16:41

SeasonFinale · 14/05/2023 16:17

Tell them you are treating yourself as constructively dismissed and hand them a letter stating what happened and when re the bottles. Keep a copy of the letter to show future employers should they wish to know what happened.

Turn up to collect your stuff and hand them the letter and leave immediately. Take a friend or someone with you in case you need a witness after too as to what happens when you go to collect your things

Yep, this is the way.

Thegoodbadandugly · 14/05/2023 16:42

Wow that's the first time I've saw a poll with 100 percent on it, your right op don't pay it wasn't your fault.

YouOKHun · 14/05/2023 16:43

If you really need the money, you could work for them, but ask them to pay you in advance. Do you have a notice period? They should give you notice

I’d sever the relationship regardless because they will do this again and they may try to withhold money to pay for the clothes.

I would go to retrieve your items and not be drawn into a conversation about the blame or paying for the clothes. Be formal and polite. Just say you have understood what they’ve said and you are thinking about it if you have to say anything at all. Once you have your possessions I would then email and/or send a “signed for” letter (so you know they’ve got it) and in that letter detail very precisely what happened, time, day, who you told the first time, time and date when you found the bottle again, what you said, what they said and why you moved it. Strongly refute the allegations and state that because you have been falsely accused you cannot continue to work for them and do not wish to work in an environment where your best endeavours to keep people safe is overridden.

I know it seems like overkill but I’d want a record of them having received my strong, detailed and precise correction of events. standing your ground and being detailed and precise may help someone’s recollections and shows you mean business. A friend of mine, a barrister, said to me that whenever you are refuting something as untrue giving detailed, precise blow by blow recounting of what happened including what you said and what they said, where you were etc etc, always has the ring of truth when others are shouting you down and flinging accusations around. I think it’s good advice.

MinnieGirl · 14/05/2023 16:44

Go in as normal tomorrow. Get your stuff, tell them you no longer wish to work for people who blame you for their inability to safeguard their grandchildren, and walk.

Mirabai · 14/05/2023 16:50

In the past I had a housekeeper who broke some valuable antiques and I didn’t blame her, I certainly didn’t ask her to pay! These people have no ethics and no manners. This would have come out sooner or later.

Tiddlypomtiddlypom · 14/05/2023 16:51

kangaroopelicanartic · 14/05/2023 15:37

Because the couple kept putting it back under the sink!

Show quote history

Fuckers. Truly. They don’t see you as human by the way they’ve treated you.

I hope you can find something else asap.

bobbysock · 14/05/2023 16:52

That is really mean of them. Really mean.

I would tell them that you are worried about them not remembering putting the bottle back several times, it could be signs of dementia and they should see their gp.

SpeckledlyHen · 14/05/2023 16:53

PollyPeptide · 14/05/2023 15:57

Surely bleach has childproof caps? Any 18mth old wouldn't be able to get the cap off.

It's not your problem. Even if you'd left the bleach there and not told anyone, it wouldn't be your fault. It's the fault of the people who are supervising the children and whoever took the bleach out of the cupboard and removed the cap.

Did you read any of the OP at all? It literally says in the first sentence of the second paragraph that the bottle didn’t have a cap.. 🤔

towriteyoumustlive · 14/05/2023 16:55

Absolutely do NOT pay for the items.

Do NOT resign!! Turn up as normal tomorrow.

I would put into writing that you found an open bottle of bleach with a missing lid on Wednesday and moved it to a top shelf so the child could not reach it. On Thursday someone had put it back in the low cupboard so you moved it up high again, and the same on Friday. State that the bottle of bleach was up high on the shelf when you left on Friday, so they need to find out who moved it back to the cupboard, as you were not there and left it out of reach of the girl.

If they do try and fire you, then it might be worth considering an unfair dismissal claim.

I personally think someone is trying to set you up here by deliberately moving the bottle back, then it oh so conveniently happened to spill on a little girl when you weren't there... it sounds far too suspicious!

Muu · 14/05/2023 16:58

Housekeepers are in demand where I live. I hope you can get a new job soon.

Don’t do another week, they won’t give you a good reference and they’ll take the cost of the clothes out of your wage. They’ve burnt their bridge with you to get out of being blamed for not supervising their grandchild and leaving ready to drink bleach in a low cabinet 🙄

if they say anything about it to you you can tell them firmly you were employed for your honesty, and they know you were telling the truth.

billy1966 · 14/05/2023 16:58

How awful of them.

Collect your stuff and leave.

What truly horrible people, and after 4 years!

skyeisthelimit · 14/05/2023 16:59

Poor you, this is a horrible situation. You need to keep it factual. If you are employed then contact ACAS for advice. You could have a claim for unfair dismissal. I would go to work as normal and be prepared for whatever may happen.

Just stick to the facts, "I placed this on a high shelf mutiple times as somebody kept moving it. I am not liable for the actions of whoever returned this bottle to underneath the sink".

Don't get involved in any arguments with them. If you need to give written notice then stick to the facts and do whatever ACAS advise.

AnyaMarx · 14/05/2023 17:01

What have they said when you Lou ted out you've moved the uncapped bottle to a high shelf 3 times - ? I'd be asking who has kept putting it back under the sink ?

I'm afraid I'd be stand my ground d not only on paying for clothes but for having absolutely no liability for their lack of child supervision!

Cheeky fuckers !

And yeah tell them to stick their job .

MyopicBunny · 14/05/2023 17:02

What vile people they are! Absolutely do not replace their clothes - stupid people!

Puzzledandpissedoff · 14/05/2023 17:04

I just feel so betrayed by them instantly blaming me

I don't blame you at all, OP; personally I'd have got my stuff and walked out the instant he said "we know it's your fault so just stop lying"

As a PP said, do try to take someone with you tomorrow, since now you know what they're capable of this could easily escalate
Oh, and better luck with the next one ... you sound worth having and hopefully someone else will appreciate you much more

SpringNotSprung · 14/05/2023 17:06

I rely on cleaners and have a housekeeper at one of my houses.

Their behaviour is reprehensible for blaming you at all and even more for insisting you replace the clothes. £70 is nothing to me (I don't mean that to be a wanky as it sounds but FFS, if you afford a housekeeper, you can afford £70, and I'm tight). Not long ago my cleaner burnt a satiny underslip. I wish she'd told me but not an issue, she's a bloody good cleaner. It went in the bin and I ordered a new one for £45.

Might their dc be winding them up?

Daffodilwoman · 14/05/2023 17:06

I agree with others posters. Go and get your things, write the letter and take someone with you.
They are complete shits.
Do not work for them again. Take a copy of the letter and show this to your next employer.

PollyPeptide · 14/05/2023 17:06

SpeckledlyHen · 14/05/2023 16:53

Did you read any of the OP at all? It literally says in the first sentence of the second paragraph that the bottle didn’t have a cap.. 🤔

Show quote history

How rude. Clearly I did read it or I wouldn't be answering that it wasn't her fault. I just read it that it didnt have the cap on at that moment not that the cap was non-existant.

cansu · 14/05/2023 17:08

They are responsible for supervising their grandchild. Tell them this clearly. Stand up for yourself.

Grimbelina · 14/05/2023 17:10

The grandparents obviously feel incredibly guilty and have lied to their children... or there are emerging decline/mental health issues (which always gets mentioned on mumsnet). In either case absolutely refuse to compensate, ask them why they ignored your instructions and who was supervising the children. Then look for another job.

My cleaner once moved a bottle of medicine when she cleaned to within reach of my 2 year old. My 5 year old saw the 2 year old about to drink it and had the presence of mind to grab the bottle and shout for me. It was an accident, my cleaner wasn't to know and if anyone was to blame it was me for leaving it around (even though out of reach) in the first place. I wouldn't have dreamt of blaming the cleaner.

CremeEggThief · 14/05/2023 17:10

Am I right that you've got all the money you're due from them?

If so, don't go back. They can fuck off to the far side of fuck!

Cherryblossoms85 · 14/05/2023 17:11

@Mirabai exactly! Even if it has been her fault in any way, accidents happen, asking her to pay is outrageous regardless. Terrible people.

KittyAlfred · 14/05/2023 17:11

I would send them a timeline of events. If you can remember roughly what time you found the bleach each day, and moved it, and the time you mentioned it to them, and which of them you spoke to. Write it all down and give it to them.

KickAssAngel · 14/05/2023 17:14

I have never asked for a reference for a cleaner.

Turn up at your usual time tomorrow, bright and breezy. Say good morning as if nothing is wrong. Then something like" I'll just stay in the ..." (Close to where your things are). Hopefully they'll leave you to get on with it. Gather your stuff and then leave. Don't even tell them you're going. Leave behind the key if you have one.

If they try to talk to you, say good like to get your work done and you can talk later, then get your stuff and go.

Once you're home, email/text them, and any of their children you have contacts for. Give a short, factual list of when you moved the bottle, told them about it etc. Say you will not pay and will not be led about and harassed. Say you'll report them for harassment if they raise this again, then block them.

Spend the rest of the day looking for temp work until you can get something long term after your holiday.

Tell yourself they're arse holes who were only good to you when the going was good.