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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How long can you live without a washing machine?

101 replies

SamSaid · 12/05/2023 20:16

DP and I moved into our new home in March after a few months of renovations, we still don't have the utility room built and thus no washing machine / tumble dryer / freezer.

We just got engaged! AIBU to want to use the savings for a quick wedding abroad? The reason I want this is I really want to be married before having children, and I currently have a 2 year gap after finishing a round of treatment where conception isn't advised before potentially starting another which would delay TTC.

Currently we have a laundrette 5 min walk away, and my DM LOVES doing laundry (just not putting it away). Just myself & DP 100% of the time and DSD 25% of the time so not loads of laundry... and we have plenty of clothes and WFH so no rush for quick turnarounds of uniforms etc.

Wedding would push back utility by approx 12m and would be complete hopefully before baby comes.

I have always been very practical and I feel living without basic white goods could become challenging once we're settled in a bit more.

AIBU - not having a washing machine and having to use external facilities will get old very quick.

YANBU - get married and deal with the socks later...

OP posts:
MargaretThursday · 12/05/2023 20:23

We went around a month (family of 5) with a machine that would only spin.
I'd throw everything in the bath with some washing powder first thing in the morning, rinse it off around lunch time with the shower and hang up outside.

What I'd do is do small things (underwear sort of size) daily by hand wash and hang them over the bath, and ask your dm if you can do 2 big washes a week. You may need a few extra clothes, but it's workable.

drpet49 · 12/05/2023 20:23

I would prioritise a washing machine as a basic need.

Sissynova · 12/05/2023 20:23

Personally I can’t imagine prioritising an abroad wedding over basics like a freezer or washing machine.

Its also highly likely that your DM has just experienced a lifetime of being a domestic slave and doesn’t actually get the immense joy you think out of washing her adult daughter, fiancé and fiancé’s child’s clothes.

takealettermsjones · 12/05/2023 20:24

I mean, I could probably only manage about half an hour without my washing machine at the moment but my circumstances are very different from yours (young kids, nappies, spit ups, potty training, yada yada). If you're happy going to the launderette for another year then go for it. I reckon you definitely need the machine in time for any baby's birth though, even if you have to just plumb it into a half-finished room!

gamerchick · 12/05/2023 20:26

If you want a quick wedding just book the registrar office.

No way I'd do without a washer for months. life's too short to fuck on with launderettes.

Spongecake556 · 12/05/2023 20:26

Can you not fit your washing machine in somewhere for now? A cupboard or a garage or shed (although- with good insulation as ours once froze when in the shed and that was the end of the washing machine!)
we have also had ours in a cupboard downstairs in the past and also near our bathroom (somewhere you can get it plumbed into easiest enough)

OrwellianTimes · 12/05/2023 20:26

I think I’d last about 4 hours without a washing machine to be honest. More important than an oven imo. It would be top priority.

You can buy a basic secondhand one for £50.

Mum2jenny · 12/05/2023 20:27

Depends if there’s a local laundry nearby. Many years ago we used to go to the local laundry, put the stuff in the washing machine, go to the pub for a drink, pop out and put it in the dryer, back to pub, then collect dry laundry. We managed got over a year without a washing machine, partly cos we couldn’t afford it, partly cos ther was no space in the kitchen.

AndIKnewYouMeantIt · 12/05/2023 20:27

Honestly, before child - a week, max. Bedding, towels, the bath mat, separate denim wash, whites - just no to the launderette and we also have one up the road.

I'

InTheSinBin · 12/05/2023 20:28

I'd get married in a register office and then go and buy a washing machine. All bases covered then.

I absolutely would not waste money on getting married abroad. Marriage is a legal thing, and you're wise to want to put this in place - but it's not worth wasting any money on it.

MuffinToSeeHere · 12/05/2023 20:28

Washing machines are hardly expensive. I'm bloody amazed you've been expecting your poor mum to wash stuff for months and now think it appropriate to pay for a destination wedding and continue to take advantage of her kindness.

Book a registry office and order a machine it could be here tomorrow.

Mum2jenny · 12/05/2023 20:29

I do wish we have a local laundrette near me now though…..

SleepingStandingUp · 12/05/2023 20:30

Well I have 3 kids so about 5 minutes.

However in your circs, can you really not fit a washer / dryer on somewhere?

Otherwise, given there's clearly other stuff going on with the treatment mentioned, get married. Make it one you enjoy. Don't put chores before making your future.

Reugny · 12/05/2023 20:30

If you are happy to waste 2 hours in a launderette every week then indefinitely.

I hated using them as a student so a month.

Lcb123 · 12/05/2023 20:32

Seems a weird compromise-just get a cheap washing machine and put it in the kitchen surely? Having a utility room
is a non essential luxury!

OhmygodDont · 12/05/2023 20:32

Surely you can plumb a washer in a temporary space. I’ve seen them outside in sheds as long as you can get water and power to it. Also don’t see why you don’t have a freezer purely because no utility. It just needs a space and a plug socket mind boggles.

MotherofPearl · 12/05/2023 20:33

No way I'd do without a washer for months. life's too short to fuck on with launderettes.

Absolutely this.

I could not survive more than half a day without a washing machine. I have 3 DC, and so it's on at least once every day.

Thesearmsofmine · 12/05/2023 20:33

A day or two for me. I would think how long you would be happy just to rely on the laundrette because it’s unfair to expect your mum to do your laundry long term and I doubt she does really love it.

Spanielsarepainless · 12/05/2023 20:35

I was without mine for two weeks. I lasted about three days before grovelling to close friends and neighbours. There's only DH and me.

Oysterbabe · 12/05/2023 20:36

I would prioritise getting a washing machine. There's no way I'd be able to put up with dicking around with laundrettes and burdening my mum.

Precipice · 12/05/2023 20:37

Why does your lack of utility room mean you can't have basic appliances temporarily in another room? If you were renovating your bedroom, would you think 'well, the bedroom is where the bed goes, so if I don't have a bedroom, I can't have a bed, let's just sleep on the floor/pay for a hotel/sleep at mum's until we get married and renovate?'

They can be moved without great difficulty. (That is to say, of course a washing machine is heavy and not as easily moved as say a chair, but if you're doing a utility room, you'll be able to have it installed there from the kitchen just as you would be from a new purchase).

Coasterfan · 12/05/2023 20:38

We went without for 6 months a few years ago as we couldn’t afford one when ours broke. DH was a stay at home dad though and that was the only way we could stay on top of it, we also have e a laundrette at the top of the road. Bit of a nightmare but manageable!

spottysnail · 12/05/2023 20:39

You can get a cheap washing machine for under £200. If you can't afford that then I don't think you can afford to get married abroad.

CatsOnTheChair · 12/05/2023 20:39

I was going to say about a week! After reading your post, I looked where the nearest laundrette was. It's nearly an hour away, on 2 busses. Only open when I'm at work, or Sat 10-2.
Get a washing machine connections plumbed in, and stick a machine in there. Get married, and start with the babies.
No freezer (tho it just needs a plug) I could deal with long term - tho the kids would hate me in the summer!
We don't have a tumble drier.
But - round here - a broken washing machine would get prioritized for replacement.

Original poster
SamSaid · 12/05/2023 20:41

Spongecake556 · 12/05/2023 20:26

Can you not fit your washing machine in somewhere for now? A cupboard or a garage or shed (although- with good insulation as ours once froze when in the shed and that was the end of the washing machine!)
we have also had ours in a cupboard downstairs in the past and also near our bathroom (somewhere you can get it plumbed into easiest enough)

I think this is what I'm going to have to do... we have an insulated attached garage (electric but no plumbing) which will become the utility room.

I think I might have to either pay for the plumbing as a halfway compromise so it's a garage with a washing machine in... or unplumb the dishwasher and have the washing machine under the sink in the kitchen ... and wash up as we go for a while

Thanks!

OP posts:
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