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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How long can you live without a washing machine?

101 replies

SamSaid · 12/05/2023 20:16

DP and I moved into our new home in March after a few months of renovations, we still don't have the utility room built and thus no washing machine / tumble dryer / freezer.

We just got engaged! AIBU to want to use the savings for a quick wedding abroad? The reason I want this is I really want to be married before having children, and I currently have a 2 year gap after finishing a round of treatment where conception isn't advised before potentially starting another which would delay TTC.

Currently we have a laundrette 5 min walk away, and my DM LOVES doing laundry (just not putting it away). Just myself & DP 100% of the time and DSD 25% of the time so not loads of laundry... and we have plenty of clothes and WFH so no rush for quick turnarounds of uniforms etc.

Wedding would push back utility by approx 12m and would be complete hopefully before baby comes.

I have always been very practical and I feel living without basic white goods could become challenging once we're settled in a bit more.

AIBU - not having a washing machine and having to use external facilities will get old very quick.

YANBU - get married and deal with the socks later...

OP posts:
AnnaMagnani · 13/05/2023 07:51

Get married.

As a family of 2, we can live almost indefinitely without our washing machine as our cleaner does our washing.

So in your situation with your mum and the laundrette, I'd get married and wait for the washing machine.

But look on Freecycle, FB market place for the washing machine - some people are giving them away.

Sissynova · 13/05/2023 07:54

@AnnaMagnani 😂 you aren’t living without a washing machine though, it’s just someone else doing it. But at least you’re paying them. OP relying on her mother doing her families washing for well over a year by choice because she’s convinced herself the mother just loves doing washing is not at all the same.

AspiringChatBot · 13/05/2023 08:02

The amount of time you can live without a washing machine depends on a few factors, including your personal circumstances and living situation. If you have access to a laundromat or another place to wash your clothes, you can go without a washing machine for an indefinite period of time. However, if you don't have access to alternative washing options, going without a washing machine can become more challenging.

In general, if you're living alone or with a partner and don't generate a large amount of laundry, you can likely go without a washing machine for a week or two. During that time, you can wash your clothes by hand or use other alternative methods, such as taking your clothes to a laundromat or using a friend or family member's washing machine.

If you have a larger family or generate a lot of laundry, going without a washing machine for an extended period of time can become more difficult. In these cases, it may be worth investing in an alternative washing option, such as a portable washing machine, or finding a way to get your laundry done outside of your home (sorry, Nancy Mitford).

Frogggie · 13/05/2023 08:02

Why not buy a cheap, second hand washer-dryer which will fit in the kitchen to tide you over? Once you have the utility room done you can upgrade and buy some nice new appliances. Some companies also do rentals which aren’t horribly expensive - depends how long you expect to have it though as to whether that’s cost effective or not.
You definitely need one before you have a baby in the house though!

Citrusnotes77 · 13/05/2023 08:05

I think you can just about cope with a washing machine for a while if you are one person but you are a family of three! Buy your white goods. They will save you money per use. Then get married.

Marriage ceremony can be very simple. A small registry office or church wedding with 30 guests or just eight guests if you want. Wear a nice outfit you can wear again. A friend of ours provided lunch in a nearby pub on picnic tables and it was really great! More difficult if you are looking for a big white extravaganza!

I think you need to put plans in place to try and double your earnings between you if you can by taking on extra shifts, having another pt job, tutoring, anything you can do to get renovation finished, white goods in, wedding paid for. Cut down on all extraneous expenses like coffees bought from coffee shops and make it a team effort. You need monthly targets if you are going to really get going on this! Good luck!

pillsthrillsandbellyache · 13/05/2023 08:05

SamSaid · 12/05/2023 22:14

Yes I think I've definitely decided to unplumb the dishwasher sooner rather than later!

We're fortunately ok for money (as in could get a washing machine without too much thought) / splash out on a laundry service. but not well off enough to do a wedding and a garage conversion in the same 12 months! We just didn't want to buy something to have to rebuy / store later on when the utility is in. But I expect we will just buy THE washing machine and keep it in the kitchen until it's relocated to it's forever home.

DP has been married before and we both have HUGE families and neither want a big white wedding. We love the idea of sodding off to Italy or somewhere in Europe with a few pals and our parents & sibs and rolling the wedding and honeymoon into one and having an evening bash to celebrate with everyone once we're back. If we got married in the UK it would easily spiral or we'd upset people :(

Show quote history

Sorry but this made me chuckle. So it's your DP's 2nd wedding so you are expecting family and friends to fork out more? It'll be cheaper for you but not them! I just noticed how casual you tried to make it sound 'sodding off to Italy' like it was down the road. It will cost everyone a fortune to be a guest at your wedding 😱. Second wedding indeed.
PS, get the washing machine. Stop giving your mum your families washing.

PurpleSky09 · 13/05/2023 08:08

We haven't had a washing machine for over a year! It broke and couldn't be fixed so we got rid and didn't bother replacing it. There's a launderette a 5 min walk away that we go to instead. I prefer it because their machines are huge so we can fit more in, and their dryers are better too, much quicker.

fishonabicycle · 13/05/2023 08:09

I really don't think your mother loves doing laundry - she is saying that so you don't feel bad about expecting her to do it for your - sort yourself out and get a washing machine. Then sort your house out, then spending money on a wedding.

LlynTegid · 13/05/2023 08:12

If mine packs up I'd want a new one or it repaired within a couple of weeks. After a fridge and kettle, it would be the most important 'white good' in any house of mine.

Have a quiet wedding in the UK, unless you want to go abroad to say a place of an elderly relative to get married.

dottiedodah · 13/05/2023 08:15

Just no to more than a few days here! With older dc no babies. Launderette nearby as well. Most times there have met people whose washing machine on blink. Say the same .even in summer rarely line dries unless boiling for about a week tops here! Can you do buy now pay later or maybe install in kitchen for the moment. As pp said poor mum is probably getting a bit fed up with extra washing or will be !

RitaFires · 13/05/2023 09:09

I've gone without a washing machine for a week or so in the past, I ended up washing some clothes in the bath.

I wouldn't choose not to have one over a long period of time. There is a launderette nearby and those 24hr automatic laundry kiosks but I'd much prefer to keep my washing in house. In your position I'd definitely just plumb one in in a temporary location rather than pay launderette fees or burdening my mother.

Congratulations on your engagement! I'd probably just run away to Gretna Green if I were you. I'm sure you can figure out a way to have a washing machine and still get married in the time frame you want.

roses2 · 13/05/2023 09:36

If you're prioritising a wedding abroad over a washing machine then I don't think you can afford the wedding abroad...

Shinyandnew1 · 13/05/2023 09:39

AIBU to want to use the savings for a quick wedding abroad?

A quick wedding is fine, doing it abroad will make it instantly much more expensive though!

my DM LOVES doing laundry (just not putting it away)

Why is your DM doing your laundry?!

I would get married locally and buy a second hand washing machine, I think!

Shinyandnew1 · 13/05/2023 09:42

We love the idea of sodding off to Italy or somewhere in Europe with a few pals and our parents & sibs

MN is full of posts about people who do this and is ends up being bloody expensive for the family and friends. Expecting others to have their summer holiday where and when YOU want it, so that you can get married at great cost and inconvenience for them, doesn’t generally go down well with people.

x2boys · 13/05/2023 09:50

Weeks at a time ( I don't have a lot of luck with washing machine's😭)
But it's an absolute ball ache,we have two launderette,s less than a mile in opposite direction,s but they are expensive ,my youngest son is disabled so I have a lot of washing ,it's a necessity.

LadyEloise1 · 13/05/2023 09:51

InTheSinBin · 12/05/2023 20:28

I'd get married in a register office and then go and buy a washing machine. All bases covered then.

I absolutely would not waste money on getting married abroad. Marriage is a legal thing, and you're wise to want to put this in place - but it's not worth wasting any money on it.

This. 💯

LadyEloise1 · 13/05/2023 09:51

MuffinToSeeHere · 12/05/2023 20:28

Washing machines are hardly expensive. I'm bloody amazed you've been expecting your poor mum to wash stuff for months and now think it appropriate to pay for a destination wedding and continue to take advantage of her kindness.

Book a registry office and order a machine it could be here tomorrow.

and this. 💯

HadEnough2023 · 13/05/2023 09:54

Your poor mum, I don't think she enjoys doing your washing at all.
Washing machines are hardly expensive you can get them for £200-300 for a decent one!

SirVixofVixHall · 13/05/2023 09:59

I used launderettes for a decade, when I lived in rented flats with no washing machines. So yes, it is fine. I would hand wash delicate things and bras. I like sitting in a launderettte with a book, I find it really relaxing.
In your place though, I would probably just stick a machine anywhere for now, it is just simpler having a machine at home, and clothes get less battered.

Sapphire387 · 13/05/2023 10:11

I feel really sorry for your mum. Are you not embarrassed, taking advantage of her goodwill like that? And then wanting to book a wedding abroad instead of sorting your own laundry situation?

Whatevergetsyouthroughthenight · 13/05/2023 10:14

Not read the whole thread but does your launderette offer a service wash?

I lived my student years using launderettes and a drop off and pick up is a lot easier than hanging around waiting for the machines to finish.

BlackeyedSusan · 13/05/2023 10:23

Don't you spend a bloody fortune on the launderette? You'll not save anything.

gamerchick · 13/05/2023 10:28

PurpleSky09 · 13/05/2023 08:08

We haven't had a washing machine for over a year! It broke and couldn't be fixed so we got rid and didn't bother replacing it. There's a launderette a 5 min walk away that we go to instead. I prefer it because their machines are huge so we can fit more in, and their dryers are better too, much quicker.

All fine until someone uses it who has a staphylococcus going on and you end up with a boil on your backside, because you used it after them.

Snowinsummer · 13/05/2023 18:50

I did 9 months (including over winter) with a washing machine outside on our patio rigged up to our outside tap on planks & covered with a tarp. The water just went into our garden (did start off with it going into the huge tub trugs but it was a pita & heavy to empty ). It was fine, didn't even have rust on it when our extension was finished

Snowinsummer · 13/05/2023 18:51

Forgot to say - family of 5 with 2 dogs so lots of washing

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