Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How long can you live without a washing machine?

101 replies

SamSaid · 12/05/2023 20:16

DP and I moved into our new home in March after a few months of renovations, we still don't have the utility room built and thus no washing machine / tumble dryer / freezer.

We just got engaged! AIBU to want to use the savings for a quick wedding abroad? The reason I want this is I really want to be married before having children, and I currently have a 2 year gap after finishing a round of treatment where conception isn't advised before potentially starting another which would delay TTC.

Currently we have a laundrette 5 min walk away, and my DM LOVES doing laundry (just not putting it away). Just myself & DP 100% of the time and DSD 25% of the time so not loads of laundry... and we have plenty of clothes and WFH so no rush for quick turnarounds of uniforms etc.

Wedding would push back utility by approx 12m and would be complete hopefully before baby comes.

I have always been very practical and I feel living without basic white goods could become challenging once we're settled in a bit more.

AIBU - not having a washing machine and having to use external facilities will get old very quick.

YANBU - get married and deal with the socks later...

OP posts:
Original poster
SamSaid · 12/05/2023 21:12

Precipice · 12/05/2023 20:37

Why does your lack of utility room mean you can't have basic appliances temporarily in another room? If you were renovating your bedroom, would you think 'well, the bedroom is where the bed goes, so if I don't have a bedroom, I can't have a bed, let's just sleep on the floor/pay for a hotel/sleep at mum's until we get married and renovate?'

They can be moved without great difficulty. (That is to say, of course a washing machine is heavy and not as easily moved as say a chair, but if you're doing a utility room, you'll be able to have it installed there from the kitchen just as you would be from a new purchase).

Our kitchen is quite small and there's no space for a freezer, only an under counter fridge and one plumbed in appliance where we chucked the dishwasher as we had that before moving.... didn't bother ordering any new appliances as there is just no room to store them when the garage is being converted. The garage / utility was due to be complete before the move but we had other urgent works that needed doing which took priority, now the choice is getting the utility done in the next couple months, or YOLOing and getting married and putting the utility off - but definitely getting the feeling the appliances are more important than a destination wedding

OP posts:
gamerchick · 12/05/2023 21:18

I think the cost of using the launderette might make you rethink a dishwasher is a priority over a washing machine.

Brain boggles.

TheWayTheLightFalls · 12/05/2023 21:20

I’m going to be the voice of lunacy/cautious optimism. We haven’t had a washing machine since March (renovation). Family of five inc three under fives. No benevolent mum nearby. I use Laundrapp once a month but I work literally next door to a laundrette, so put stuff in, set an alarm and go about my day - every two weeks or so. Other than that it’s a bit of hand washing and buying overtrousers for my grubby toddlers who seem to roll around in mud at any opportunity.

RoseMartha · 12/05/2023 21:22

I would be un plumbing the dishwasher and storing it in the garage and buying a washing machine to fit in its place.

MichaelAndEagle · 12/05/2023 21:23

RoseMartha · 12/05/2023 21:22

I would be un plumbing the dishwasher and storing it in the garage and buying a washing machine to fit in its place.

This

So obviously this!

Then go get married!

readbooksdrinktea · 12/05/2023 21:23

Its also highly likely that your DM has just experienced a lifetime of being a domestic slave and doesn’t actually get the immense joy you think out of washing her adult daughter, fiancé and fiancé’s child’s clothes.

This. OP, it's not great to dump your dirty washing with your mother because you want a wedding abroad.

GirlOfTudor · 12/05/2023 21:28

Wow there's a lot going on in one post.

Surely you can just buy a washing machine and plumb it in where one used to be? That's what we did when we renovated our house. The kitchen wasn't finished for ages, but we always had a working washing machine because it's so simple to plumb in.

Also, launderettes are insanely expensive and very time consuming. Even if you do 1 large load a week, that's still a fair amount of time to spend gathering your laundry, taking it to the launderette, loading the machine, waiting for it finish, possibly using the tumble dryer, bagging it up, taking it home, then drying it or putting it away. Not to mention taking soap powder/liquid with you or buying it there.

Why are you interested in a wedding abroad and not one here?

Sissynova · 12/05/2023 21:38

Mum2jenny · 12/05/2023 20:43

Laundrettes are really not that bad if you’re either short of money or space.

No, laundrettes are terrible if you’re short of money. If you can’t afford the up front cost of a washing machine then paying per wash in a laundrette ends up costing you multiple times over.
OP doesn’t seem to be in a situation where she couldn’t afford the up front cost considering she’s intending to pay for an abroad wedding.

goinginsaneinthemembrane · 12/05/2023 21:55

Laundrettes are really not that bad if you’re either short of money or space.

Really? I spent about £130 a month at the laundrette!

Original poster
SamSaid · 12/05/2023 22:14

GirlOfTudor · 12/05/2023 21:28

Wow there's a lot going on in one post.

Surely you can just buy a washing machine and plumb it in where one used to be? That's what we did when we renovated our house. The kitchen wasn't finished for ages, but we always had a working washing machine because it's so simple to plumb in.

Also, launderettes are insanely expensive and very time consuming. Even if you do 1 large load a week, that's still a fair amount of time to spend gathering your laundry, taking it to the launderette, loading the machine, waiting for it finish, possibly using the tumble dryer, bagging it up, taking it home, then drying it or putting it away. Not to mention taking soap powder/liquid with you or buying it there.

Why are you interested in a wedding abroad and not one here?

Yes I think I've definitely decided to unplumb the dishwasher sooner rather than later!

We're fortunately ok for money (as in could get a washing machine without too much thought) / splash out on a laundry service. but not well off enough to do a wedding and a garage conversion in the same 12 months! We just didn't want to buy something to have to rebuy / store later on when the utility is in. But I expect we will just buy THE washing machine and keep it in the kitchen until it's relocated to it's forever home.

DP has been married before and we both have HUGE families and neither want a big white wedding. We love the idea of sodding off to Italy or somewhere in Europe with a few pals and our parents & sibs and rolling the wedding and honeymoon into one and having an evening bash to celebrate with everyone once we're back. If we got married in the UK it would easily spiral or we'd upset people :(

OP posts:
AnotherEmma · 12/05/2023 22:23

For goodness sake, just do the utility room and have a v small wedding in the U.K. - absolutely nothing to stop you having a registry office wedding with immediate family and best friends only, then a slap up restaurant meal afterwards. I don't understand this obsession with destination weddings, why make your guests feel they have to spend all that time and money attending your wedding? Surely the point of a honeymoon is spending time together as a couple not with your parents in tow?!
Never mind offending people, you want to get married (which is sensible), you need a functioning utility room, and you should do both before TTC.

Hugasauras · 12/05/2023 22:41

Ours broke on Friday, the new one arrived on Wednesday and it was still awful! We actually used our savings for a playroom/utility conversion/extension rather than spending money on a wedding, and it was absolutely worth it. We did our wedding for like a grand at registry office and now have a lovely big playroom and utility room which has brought us far more joy Grin My utility room is the real love of my life.

CC4712 · 12/05/2023 22:51

We spent 2yrs without a washing machine! We renovated a derelict property and lived in a static caravan in the garden. It was grim! I even looked at camping type washing devices just to have anything more than hand washing!

I'd never used a launderette beforehand. You can sit in there and watch the laundry go around, then wait for the dryer- or pay for a service wash where the staff wash/dry it for you. I work full time, so often did a service wash- but it worked out SO expensive. I felt the time sitting in the launderette was just a waste .

If you don't know what brand/colour etc you want now and to save money- I'd look on freecycle, nextdoor, market place etc and get a basic washing machine- then replace the dishwasher.

Its one thing to take your laundry to your mums and do you own- but as an adult, to expect her to do your whole families washing (because she loves it!🙄 ) is utterly ridiculous!

Gazelda · 12/05/2023 22:52

It's £6 per load at the launderette near me. Then £4 for 10 mins in the dryer. This very quickly adds up once you separate out whites/lights/darks/towels&bedding.

I don't use the dryer, but that means I can only do a couple of loads at a time because there's no way to dry more in this constant rain. So at least 2 trips to the launderette each week.

Kitchen renovations going on at the moment, currently on week 4 of no washer. It's not something I'd recommend anyone committing to by choice.

timetorefresh · 12/05/2023 23:09

Book a registrar. Buy a washing machine. Have your fancy holiday later

Addicted2Kale · 12/05/2023 23:11

A washing machine is more important than a wedding.

NaNaNaNaNaNaBaNaNa · 12/05/2023 23:15

For complicated reasons, my mum hasn't had a washing machine for about 5 years. She's fine. Takes washing to the laundrette, sometimes brings it to mine, it's all good.

If I had to choose washing machine or dishwasher, I'd keep the dishwasher and take a book to the laundrette for a couple of hours a week. 😊

PandoraRocks · 12/05/2023 23:37

Well I've never had a washing machine and I'm 60....

THisbackwithavengeance · 13/05/2023 07:15

Personally? About 5 minutes.

In your situation? Yeah probably.

Oblomov23 · 13/05/2023 07:21

I don't really 'get' any of your attitudes. It all sounds odd to me. A second marriage that you want really quickly, to conceive? But he skewer has a dd. Is there an age gap? You are doing up a house but have no plans for a washing machine. For a year? I don't know how to word the next bit? What country is your mil from? Only a subservient old fashioned Malaysian or Chinese old school serving woman mentality would put up with that nonsense you speak of re washing.

TidyHomeTidyMind · 13/05/2023 07:30

If I were your mother, dutifully doing your washing and you came to me explaining you had booked a fancy wedding abroad rather than getting a bloody washing machine the shit would hit the fan so hard that nobody would be getting the stains out!!!
My rule for life is that absolutely NO ONE should be doing something for me that I can do for myself.
We didn't have a washing machine for 3 months (long story, Domestic and General took ages to fix it) so I had to use the laundrette, it was awful, time consuming and expensive!
Just get a washing machine!

Sissynova · 13/05/2023 07:37

PandoraRocks · 12/05/2023 23:37

Well I've never had a washing machine and I'm 60....

This honestly just seems like a ridiculous life choice considering domestic washing machines have been commonplace for decades.
Laundrettes are more expensive by several times over and hand washing does not clean clothes to anywhere near the same degree.

Wishawisha · 13/05/2023 07:39

If you have a step daughter I think it’s pretty unreasonable to think about your wedding over being able to wash her clothes or make food that needs a freezer.

You can’t get pregnant for two years and (reasonably) want to be married first. So that gives you two years to get married, it’s not an immediate rush. If there is a child in the picture then I do think your priorities need to be on making your home as fit for purpose as you can.

And yes, like others I’d love without a dishwasher over living without a washing machine. Mainly because this doesn’t impose on other people - you can’t take your dirty dishes round to your MIL.

AndIKnewYouMeantIt · 13/05/2023 07:40

Wishawisha · 13/05/2023 07:39

If you have a step daughter I think it’s pretty unreasonable to think about your wedding over being able to wash her clothes or make food that needs a freezer.

You can’t get pregnant for two years and (reasonably) want to be married first. So that gives you two years to get married, it’s not an immediate rush. If there is a child in the picture then I do think your priorities need to be on making your home as fit for purpose as you can.

And yes, like others I’d love without a dishwasher over living without a washing machine. Mainly because this doesn’t impose on other people - you can’t take your dirty dishes round to your MIL.

The OP has to get pregnant in this 2 year window before starting another treatment (in 2 years' time).

PinkOrangeTulip · 13/05/2023 07:48

The amount of laundry we go through in our household, there’s no way I could do without a washing machine, even one week would be too long!