Should I buy this Engagement Ring

[TheRussiansAreComing]

I need the advise of MN please. Looking to ask my partner to marry me and would like to know if I’m on the right track with what I am thinking of choosing. I’m thinking of a white gold or platinum pave band with a 3 carat Emerald cut lab grown diamond.
Is a lab grown diamond ok, or is this cheap?
Will 3 carat look too big to be believable?
is Pave popular?

She has recently started to wear her late DM’s wedding ring which is a plain ish gold band.
Will it matter if it’s next to white gold / platinum.
OH is over 50, with a younger contemporary taste.
If she didn’t already have a gold band, I think white gold would be her preference.
I think she would prefer a solitaire over a cluster.
Does anyone have experience of purchasing from 77 Diamonds?

I would hate to be asked to pick my own ring! Guess we’re all different. I think the one you’ve chosen is beautiful, fwiw.

I'm over 50 and would not choose this ring. I like the cut but not the band. I think it would be really romantic to surprise your OH with a day out to pick out a ring together. Saying that? I stipulated the stone colour with my EXH and he chose the ring. He picked well and I loved that he had chosen it but would not have picked it for myself.

I would find out what she wants but buy it yourself. I like that my husband picked a ring out for me, it was kind of like a little bit of validation that he knew me well enough to pick something I'd like.

as a jewellery designer (although not one that does engagement rings) there are a great number of craftspeople who would be able to make you something special and not mass produced, and probably for a similar sort of price. If you want it to be special, why not get her involved in the design for something truly unique, and also support an individual craftsperson

Lots of jewellers have inexpensive "proposal rings" for exactly this purpose - they look the part but you then swap them for a "real" ring once she's said yes...and mostly the cost of the proposal ring is then taken off the real one...

That would allow you the romance of proposing with a real ring - which I totally get - but also avoids the risk of you buying something that might not be quite right plus she gets the fun of choosing, which IME was almost the best bit of all of it!

Are you not listening to the majority of posters that are telling you to propose with a placeholder and let her choose / design together?

Not really any point asking if you’re going to ignore the advice. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Definable this. I wouldn't want a lab grown diamond but I know some like them. Best to let her choose. Then you can't get it wrong.

That’s a nice ring. If it were me, I’d rather have a smaller but real diamond. I agree with pp to propose and then right after go ring shopping together. It’s a lot of fun and she will get a ring she will love forever. That’s what we did and it’s a very happy memory that I think of often. I ended up choosing the first of several rings I tried on which is funny and I love it so much still and would never want an “upgrade” it’s perfect and classic but unique, 26 years later. 1/2 carat oval. I have long slim fingers, and it looked the best on my hand. Your fiancé might appreciate trying on rings too. Shapes and sizes I thought I would like didn’t look right on my hand so it was nice to try different ones on. Your fiancé may even want a colored gemstone, I would consider letting her enjoy the experience of looking at different rings. She’s got the gold band which may have sentimental meaning for her so you don’t know which color gold she prefers.

Most women prefer a real diamond, not a gaudy 3 carat fake diamond, or 1 carat fake diamond masquerading as a real diamond, and they prefer to help choose it. Some women might like lab produced but most do not.

You would do well to listen to the overwhelming majority of women here.

@TheRussiansAreComing is there a reason you've ignoring all of the posts suggesting that by far the best thing is to ask your partner to chose a ring with you? You're presumably after women's opinions here and that is overwhelmingly what the women here are telling you.

It's not about carats or cuts or metals, it's about personal style and choice. I would hate to be presented with a piece of jewellery that comes with the assumption I'd wear it every day, if it wasn't my taste.

My husband proposed with a beautiful ring.

I didn't like it though. I told him it's not one I'd have chosen, which he got offended by.

But I don't see why I should wear something that I didn't choose and isn't a style I like.

Would you choose her hairstyle?

It may be more romantic to go down on one knee with a sparkler in hand, but it's not very respectful of her independence and choice.

I basically told my now husband what I liked, I got a catalogue and circled what I liked and then left it up to him. He did eventually buy the ring I'd fallen in love with and surprised me with a proposal months later. I don't think I'd have liked it if he'd have picked. If she's given you a huge clue to what she likes go with that, what I like is probably completely different to anyone else. If you want to ask her and then chose a ring buy a stunt ring to propose with (a nice ring but cheap, not real) then make it a thing chosing something together. You have to wear this everyday forever, she needs to like it!

If she doesn’t like the ring, she’s not going to be happy. Is that what you want by insisting on what you want instead of what she would want?

I bet she would rather have a small or medium but real diamond (or small/medium sapphire, ruby or emerald, or even semi precious) than a big gaudy masculine looking rectangle on a cold white band. See how that works? She may not like what you’ve picked out. Some women might. But most women wouldn’t, they want to choose. She will be wearing it not you.

You think you’ll impress her with a giant fake ring. No, she won’t be impressed at all. I wouldn’t be either. She likes wearing the yellow gold plain band. That means she probably would like a classic tasteful REAL diamond ring in yellow gold to match her band. But you want something totally your choice. Big mistake.

This.

Jewellery is such a personal thing. A friend of mine had a lovely proposal. Her dh took her to Birmingham for a 'romantic getaway' she was abit 🤔about the destination choice but it turned out that he was taking her to jewellery quarter to choose a ring. She loved it and they had a lovely time choosing the ring together. Just an idea. 77 diamonds is a reputable retailer so you are in safe hands.

My dh proposed with a ring he chose. It was beautiful but he was pretty sure what I liked at that point. Some women would prefer a smaller non lab diamond and some would prefer lab. According to a friend of mine the younger generation are more into lab but 'older' generation consider them 'fake', although of course they are not.

Buy it together, being bought it sucks.

Proposing ring in hand is rather presumptuous tbh, emotional blackmail in a way unless the couple has in reality decided they want to marry already.

And imo that's an ugly, uncomfortable looking ring... tastes are very personal, and how a ring fits and looks on an individual's hand even moreso.

Propose with a rose or suchlike and then if she says yes you can choose the ring together.

My ring is from 77 diamonds! It's a beauty. It's also a lab diamond and you can't tell the difference, a jeweler wouldn't be able to tell the difference unless testing it. I was walking past one of the high street shops the other day and they had a solitaire ring which was 0.75ct for 8.5k 🥴. Mines 1ct with 2 earth diamond (trilogy) and was 2.2k.
I do wish I had got to choose though ☹️

If she has contemporary taste, that ring is not the way to go.

Also have you considered an antique ring, there are some absolutely gorgeous and unique ones available and the prices are great.

https://friarhouse.com/collections/art-deco-diamond-engagement-rings?page=1

I’m also the same demographic as your partner and would be horrified if my husband fronted up with a tacky 3 carat lab diamond ring.

but if he fronted up with something like this I’d be overjoyed (get this one is over budget though)

https://friarhouse.com/products/3023

Going against the majority here but I would have been pretty disappointed if my husband hadn’t proposed with the proper ring - that he chose. Takes away the surprise and would have ruined the moment for me.

Is this a thing? I’m in my mid-20s and my fiancé proposed to me with a ring he had bought. He knew my ring size and had a good idea of what I would like - even though I never showed him ring pictures! It’s perfect.

I do think that ring is very pretty, op, but knowing it’s lab created ruins it for me. Most women want a real diamond. And women usually want yellow gold and men usually want white gold or silver. My rings are yellow gold and my husband’s ring is white gold, we each chose exactly what we wanted and it was the best decision we could have made. Let your fiancé choose. It is incredibly exciting to spend a day or couple days choosing a ring. Make a a big romantic day out of it, she will love it.

That is the key, he knew what you would like and wanted to get you something he knew you would like. In most cases, better for the woman to try on rings and see what she likes and help choose it, after all she is the one who will be wearing it. Your husband did well!

I am over 50, with what I hope is quite "contemporary taste". I would absolutely hate that ring and there's not a hope in hell I would wear it. But others may well love it, and that's just fine. I second all the people who said you should let her choose.

No problem with lab diamonds, but not everyone likes diamonds at all. I don't.