To think that allowing young children to "play out" is a safeguarding concern?

[LongTimeLurker234]

Was just wondering how people feel about children between the ages of say, 6/7/8/9 "playing out" unsupervised by adults for hours, and without a phone. Going to the local parks, shops etc... Are there any laws about it?

I'm posting this because I'm actually concerned for some children, not just because of this issue alone but this is part of it.

YABU- playing out is normal
YANBU - safeguarding concern

Agree! Wow
so glad I moved my kids to an area (outskirts of small rural town) where playing out was the norm

On its own, playing out is not a concern, so more context is needed. We are rural, live in a lovely area and children playing out is very much the norm here.

Seems normal around here. Little scrotes no older than 8 kicking front doors, banging on windows and breaking wing mirrors on cars.

Its odd because a child of 6 would absolutely not be allowed to be left at home alone... but I regularly see them walking the streets alone. I'll never understand it.

All the people saying kids are at risk of grooming and bullying out alone, I wonder if you live in this century tbh. I think they are probably more likely to be groomed and bullied at home on their phones!* *

Well, I think because kids playing out are generally with another child or in a group, and also they're probably somewhere where they could easily pop home if they needed something or didn't feel like staying out.

From 8/9 we've allowed our children some freedoms such as going to shop, playing out. Always with rules and plans for if things go wrong. Being available is important too. My parents were ott aboutnot letting me out when I was that age but then I was flung into walking across a dark and (what felt very) dangerous estate alone when I got back from college just a few years later. I believe that you can't teach streetwise with words, it is learnt through experience. I'd never put my child in danger or allow them to feel the extremes I felt but I want to prepare them for the world.

For me it would depend on how many kids in the group, the disparity in ages, how they act while out, etc.
Small groups are worrying, only a couple kids are in more danger than larger groups. I would be worried if it seemed to be one older child having to care for the youngers instead of it seeming like a group of kids just playing together.
Also, are they just playing, going to shops, laughing and running around or are they throwing trash around, actively bothering people (by actually doing things, not just by existing as children who run, laugh, and yell) or causing problems, stealing, etc?
It would also depend on the heaviness of the traffic, population density of the area they are in, etc.
my generation played like this as children. Walked to school with other kids only, walked to the store with sibling only, played with other kids with zero to no adult supervision. Yes, there were creeps that we often told off because we were in groups. We spent a lot of time in neighborhood parks or in the woods, playing by a creek. Or in each other's yards.
I don't let my kids do a lot of this, but I do let them play out alone more than some neighbors, but then there are other neighbors that let their kids play out more alone than I do mine. And of course they can play in our yard whenever the weather allows as the backyard is fenced and there is no alley.

Worse shit happened to me at home than in parks or out with friends.
No mobile phones when I was growing up.
We (friends & I) were out most of the time.
Never before 10am incase we disturbed neighbours (or friends parents more to the point) but we had free rein pretty much.
Knew what time dinner was and DEFINITELY wouldn't be late for that, the consequences weren't worth it.....
My dgc get to play out.
I wholeheartedly agree, less screens and more fresh air if where you live is appropriate for kids to play out.
I do feel very sad for kids whose parents don't allow them out until they're high school age (unless they live in a dodgy area)
How are children meant to learn by their own mistakes if they are locked away looking at screens and chatting/gaming with fuck knows who?

Depends on the child and the area.

I can't let autistic 12 year old anywhere unsupervised as no sense of danger

my mature 10 year old has played out since 8 but I live in a city. Would have let her earlier if we were rural / small town and knew everyone

there are no laws just guidance.

I say if the kids are doing things that could put themselves or others at risk then it's a concern

You are not being unreasonable . I've witnessed the same child sitting in train tracks, playing with lighters, walking down main roads and his parents do not care ! It's more the safety aspect of it all now adays . If they are close by to home then maybe not so bad but seeing young children walking to shops ect is not good

I’m quite surprised by these replies! Where I live, kids are allowed out from Y6 so age 10-11. Going by my kids and their friends. They’re still kids and have freedom. They’re not locked up till 16.

On Facebook this week there was a kid not home from school late at night age 9! Our school don’t let Y4 out on their own. I thought 9 was too young to be on their own.

It's more concerning that children are so infantalised they can't play out any more. In my childhood it was normal to play out from 3 or 4 if you had an older sibling with you. Or 5 or 6 with friends. We didn't think about getting lost or falling in the ditch or getting hurt. We just found our way, jumped ditches, climbed trees, scrambled over barbed wire and it made us totally capable and self reliant.

Exactly!!!!! Couldnt have said it better myself x

I actually despair at this question. We've already seen a dramatic decline in resilience and ability to work through problems independently in GenZ because of incessant helicopter parenting. You are doing your kids no favours at all preventing them from playing independently with other children. And, no, it's not less safe nowadays. Parents are just more scared.

Thing is was being allowed out alone at 5 and being babysat till gone midnight by 13 year olds really ok? Was day after day coming home to an empty house in here 5/6 really ok. Genuinely just ok. Was that actually good parenting or just children left to fend for themselves and now parents want and adults expect better?

We’re all still here, aren’t we? Robust, resilient, independent.

And so where many people before seatbelts existed before smoking was declared bad, after mothers where actually told to drink during pregnancy for iron.

Many things of the past where actually bad just because people and babies and children survived doesn’t make those things ok.

There’s a big difference between a 6 and a 9 year old in this context.

My 7 year old cannot be trusted not to run into the road or talk to strangers - and god forbid anyone said they had a dog to show her!! She has no sense of danger and no impulse control...my 3 year old is actually more sensible around roads and is absolutely terrified of strangers, dogs and her own shadow but she shuts down when upset/scared and wouldn't be able to ask for help if needed. This might change as she gets older but for now, it would be over my dead body that they'd be allowed to play out unsupervised, and certainly not with any way to contact me.

I was torn, like you, but did eventually let my 10 year old play out as we lived in a lovely area. She was groomed and raped so no I don't think it is safe. She is now 37 and has terrible ptsd. So do I.

I actually despair at this question. We've already seen a dramatic decline in resilience and ability to work through problems independently in GenZ because of incessant helicopter parenting. You are doing your kids no favours at all preventing them from playing independently with other children. And, no, it's not less safe nowadays. Parents are just more scared.

Absolutely this. The risks aren’t any different in my opinion, we are all just more aware of it, and worry more. We had so much more freedom as children in the 70s and 80s, I feel later generations are missing out.

Thing is was being allowed out alone at 5 and being babysat till gone midnight by 13 year olds really ok? Was day after day coming home to an empty house in here 5/6 really ok. Genuinely just ok. Was that actually good parenting or just children left to fend for themselves and now parents want and adults expect better?

I'm curious who spoke in favour of small children coming home to an empty house and being babysat by 13-year-olds?

It is certainly not the general tone of the thread which is about children playing out and going to the shop.

This is definitely a journalist and this will be on the Sun Facebook page tomorrow 🙄

There’s a huge difference between a child playing out with his/her friends, within a safe area, for an hour - or so, between coming home from school and dinner to a young child being left with a young teenager from the time he comes home from school into the early hours.

Where does anyone say young children should be primarily cared for by 13 year olds?

I "played out" at 6 and younger! Usually with my older brothers. We'd ride our bikes round the neighbourhood, make dens in the woods. We didn't have phones in those days (but usually a 10p to use in the phonebox if needed!)

It is different now. But context is everything! I wouldn't let my now 11&9 yr olds play by the main road! But in a quiet cup de sac then sure! Or in the park over the road no probs!