To go for twins via IVF?

[Clandistyne]

DH and I have been trying for two years and are now getting IVF privately. He has eight year old twins from a previous relationship already so I’m not eligible for NHS help. The clinic have asked whether I’d like to implant one embryo or two. We would ideally like two children together.

Pros:

• I’d be 37 by the time any babies from this cycle were born, so reduced likelihood of getting pregnant again later and getting the two we’d like
• Only one pregnancy to go through
• Reduced IVF cost
• We’re used to raising twins already

Cons:

• Riskier pregnancy
• Double costs for everything including nursery at the same time

Has anyone opted for twins via IVF? How did it work out? Am I crazy for considering it?

I don’t agree with the rules that if your partner has children you don’t qualify. It should be solely based on the woman’s status and if she has no children then gets nhs treatment .

I disagree with it so much that I just want to tell people - they don’t check you know - if you say your partner has no dc unless they are linked in some way and the gp knows then you can get round this rule …….

I might be absolutely wrong here but I don’t think they implant two just so you can have twins, isn’t it a sort of numbers game that COULD possibly result in twins rather than here you go, twins?

I wouldn't call it opting for twins.

When implanting 2 embryos, the most likely outcome is no baby, then one baby, and only then 2 babies.

A DW of a childhood friend of mine did this, had a DS and then DT (girls) after. All by IVF. I think she didn’t realise the amount of work that goes into having twins though…

Advising people to lie to get free NHS treatment they are not entitled to is disgusting.

Transferring 2 embryos does not guarantee twins, I had a double transfer which was unsuccessful and then another double transfer and one baby. I thought it would increase my chance of a baby but I’m not sure there is any evidence. There is evidence that a multiple pregnancy is higher risk.

Personally I'd aim for one successful pregnancy with the best embryo. Twins are riskier all round.

A 1 kid pregnancy will be hard at your age.
A twin would be worse imo
For your body. But also for the kids!
You'd be risking 2 premmies. Twins with a battery of things wrong with them because they were born too early.

Id rather take the better odds. And get 1 egg placed back. For your age/body and even mental health. You have been involved with twins yes. But raising them from birth is a whole other ball game than nannying your partners twins at an older age

At what other time in any sense would the status of another woman’s uterus affect the treatment of another woman ?? It’s ludicrous.
All it does is prove a man’s fertility status at the point in time he had a child - he may not even have access to his child/children and even if he does why does it then mean that a separate persons medical treatment is affected by that ?

My dh had a child with an ex very young. Not on birth certificate she then moved miles away and wouldn’t let him see her so when it came to ivf for us we weren’t going to let that ruin our chances or we wouldn’t have had our dc .

Latest Cochrane review.

https://rbej.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12958-022-00899-1

sub 40 with good embryos they recommend single embryo transfer.

anecdotally I’ve certainly seen a lot of IVF twins on NICU as they have a much higher risk of preterm birth than singleton pregnancies. There are also maternal risks too.

at her age? 37 isn't especially old to be pregnant?!

Yes this is true. I had three rounds of IVF with two embryos implanted each time. No pregnancy, no baby let alone twins.

It's got nothing to do with any other womans uterus, the only ludicrous thing here is your point!

They are a couple. They both need to be childless. He is not. It's about his status, not anyone elses. He already has children, he has not entitlement to NHS fertility treatment.

The fact that your partner had a child he never bothered to parent does not mean that he was entitled to free nhs treatment to have more treatment. You cheated the system and took what you werent entitled to.

to have more children, that is

I've had two double transfer ivf rounds. One baby born from each, so it's to increase the odds of at least one sticking

I had 6 cycles of IVF and had 2 embryos put back each time, my first cycle was at 23 years old and my last when i was 27. You're not told to put two back to 'have twins', its to increase your chance of one of them working! I had a 2 BFPs in the first 5 cycles but lost them at various stages - it was only on the 6th attempt that both embryos 'stuck' but I lost my sons twin at 10 weeks.

The aim is for ONE baby and the two embryos giving you a better chance of that, the aim is never for twins, its just a consequence of some cycles.

The only thing you can successfully 'opt' for with IVF is a rollercoaster!

Enjoying your very short list of the cons of having twins 😁 I say that as a twin parent.

We did this, it was much more normal at the time.
I absolutely didn't regret the choice.
However the birth was a disaster and we were lucky to all survive.
Raising twins in the early years is very hard and expensive at times.
I wouldn't change it though.

Although two embryos doesn't actually mean you will have a successful pregnancy single or twins. Good luck whatever you decide.

“At your age”. She’s 36 not 46 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Compare it to other risks you probably wouldn't dream of taking with your future baby. You wouldn't take them for a drive without a car seat, put them in their own room from birth or serve them whole grapes, when those things statistically pose a much lower risk of harm to them than sharing your uterus with another baby does. Of course you might be lucky but relatively speaking it's very risky. I'd never take the chance of having twins by choice.

Btw are your husband's twins fraternal or identical? I know someone who had identical twins via IVF when their single embryo split. If it runs in your husband's side it might be something to consider.

at "used to raising twins already". How old were his twins when you met him OP?

This was our experience.

They do not generally implant two embryos just so that you can complete your family in one go.

I had twins from a double embryo transfer. I didn't opt to, it was the best course of action for the quality of the embryos. My husband and I were warned that IVF embryos have a higher likelihood of splitting, so are you prepared for triplets or even quads?

Also, no offence, but you have no idea what it's like raising twins. Newborn and toddler twins are a different beast compared to child aged twins. Not to mention the way IVF, coupled with a twin pregnancy, will ravage your body. Can you cope with NICU or SCBU time? How many months?

As someone who has been through it, do a single transfer.

I had IVF back in the days where they routinely did a double embryo transfer. First time resulted in a single pregnancy, second resulted in twins.

Some thoughts on your list of pros and cons: the 'only one pregnancy to go through' is a bit misleading. Twin pregnancy is hard - you're likely to be sicker, tireder, bigger and more uncomfortable, even before you get into the increased risks. (I'm not sure it's equivalent to two pregnancies, but it's definitely more than a single one.) And there are increased risks for you and the babies. I ended up at high risk of preterm labour and needed an operation and bed rest to get my twins to term. As I'd had a full term singleton, doctors thought it was the additional strain on my body of carrying twins.

Double nursery costs - yes, but...and the rest. My kids are mid/late teens now and we have recently done the sums for what we think it will cost to have the two of them (in our case the three of them!) at university at the same time. Big expenses - school trips, driving lessons, etc etc - all come along together. There are great benefits to having similar aged children/twins, but it's an expensive business.

Of course, no pregnancy is risk free, and no childhood is perfect. Having watched my twins to this stage, there are real benefits and drawbacks to having and being a twin. Good luck with whatever you decide.