To go for twins via IVF?

[Clandistyne]

DH and I have been trying for two years and are now getting IVF privately. He has eight year old twins from a previous relationship already so I’m not eligible for NHS help. The clinic have asked whether I’d like to implant one embryo or two. We would ideally like two children together.

Pros:

• I’d be 37 by the time any babies from this cycle were born, so reduced likelihood of getting pregnant again later and getting the two we’d like
• Only one pregnancy to go through
• Reduced IVF cost
• We’re used to raising twins already

Cons:

• Riskier pregnancy
• Double costs for everything including nursery at the same time

Has anyone opted for twins via IVF? How did it work out? Am I crazy for considering it?

I had a single failed cycle, a total fail and then a double transfer. This was 14 years ago and I was under 35 with tubal factor only so basically the ideal ivf patient.

I was incredibly naive re twin risks. There are loads of fraternal twins in my maternal line (naturally conceived) so I saw it as not too unusual but I look back and am baffled I was so relaxed about it.

I was lucky and had a smooth pregnancy (yes sick but otherwise fine), an easy planned section at term and healthy babies. I would never take that risk again.

My friend is a teacher in a severe SN school and says that twins are hugely over represented, specifically male twins and the male half of B/G twins. No G/G twins there.

Using two embryos means you must also be prepared for the extreme, rare, but not impossible outcome of triplets or even quads if both eggs implanted and split.

I have twins, naturally conceived - would I have chosen this? No way haha. The pregnancy was so hard and the first 18 months of their lives were just so logistically difficult. Had really awful PND from extreme feelings of not being able to cope. I adore my children don’t get me wrong (and life is much easier now they’re 3) but if I could’ve had a wee break in between them and just one newborn to contend with I would have!!
And don’t even get me started on the nursery fees 🫠

In my clinic I was told they wouldn't implant more than one at once, in a (reasonably) young and healthy woman with no risk factors. Their aim is a healthy, safe, minimal risk pregnancy.

As much as I love my twins it can be a pita and the newbie stage v hard work. They were third ivf lucky ❤❤
But yeah I would go for double embryo transfer for success increasing rather than twins.

We had the same choice we went for 2 and had twins - my pregnancy with twins was actually easier than my first pregnancy with my daughter, they were born at just over 36 weeks and have had no issues.

They are 4 now and it's been busy and expensive however very happy with our decision, we were in our mid twenties at the time.

They always have each other to play with which was particularly good throughout the covid lockdowns while we were stuck at home.

I did 3 cycles of IVF at 40-41 and opted for 2 each time just to increase the chance of one successful pregnancy and ended up with my daughter (my clinic recommended 2 for older women but said it was my choice). One was a lot more intense than I was anticipating and I’m not sure I could have managed with 2 in the early days (no family support nearby). One the other hand I sometimes think it would have been nice to have twins as I always wanted 2 and am probably too old for another now. Someone else from my anti-natal group did have IVF twins at 40 so it is possible.

7 cycles of IVF between ages 30-36. MF.

5 cycles were double embryo transfers, 2 were single ET.
4 positive cycles.
2 were twin pregnancies.

I have one DC.

I think it will depend on the the number of blasts and the quality of them at the end of the day. If you have lots of them but poor quality then go for it. If you don't have many then save for another round, if you have great quality ones then don't run the risk of all the complications. Surely it's better to have one healthy baby then 2 with much higher risks of complications.

Also remember that your chances of getting pregnant with a double embryo transfer is only 3% higher than a single transfer. And even if you do get pregnant something like 1/3 of twin pregnancies lose one of the twins before 12 weeks

Also you seem to be very niave on the success rates of IVF and complications and risks of twins so suggest doing some more research before deciding.

I had IVF at 36/37 and to increase chances of one sticking I had two embryos transferred - first round. Was a positive pregnancy with twins and omg I felt so sick from the day of seeing those two lines.

Anyway it wasn't to be, I lost one at 9 weeks.

I wouldn't go in thinking you're definitely going to have twins as that's naïve.

Best of luck.

Haha, yes.
The first few months are brutal, the first few years are challenging. The your NCT friends who were having a breeze (from your perspective) with a singleton have to juggle a 2yo and a newborn, and in parallel your life with 2 2yo starts getting easier.
Mine are now 9yo and it is so lovely that they are twins (and easier for me!)

Back to your OP, I say go for it!

It’s a hard one. I think given your situation I would probably do a double transfer. We had secondary infertility and so already had one child when we did a single embryo transfer. But the main reason we didn’t want to transfer two embryos is the additional risks to twins…but it’s all a balance and if we didn’t have a child already I’d probably have felt differently

We had our DD at age 39 via IVF. I specifically remember the clinic putting a bit of pressure on us to transfer 2 embryos. But it only increases the chances of pregnancy by 5%. (Those were the statistics at the time 12 years ago.) The increase % of twins was huge (can’t remember exactly) but I was advised of lots of risks etc.
As it turned out we just transferred one and had our DD (3rd ivf) but then went on to have DS naturally 2 years later. This is incredible common apparently. A doctor once said to me that having a baby is like turning the computer off and then on again. It re starts everything! It’s like your body knows what to do. So please don’t think this is your only chance.
Good luck op.

@WineIsMyMainVice Yes, I know three women who have gone on to have DC2 with no assistance after IVF. One of them told me she felt as though her IVF had given her system a 'tutorial'!

In the country where I am living, they will NOT put two eggs in if you are under 40 unless there are very specific medical reasons (and even after 40, the doctor will review your case before deciding).

Twin pregnancies put both babies and Mum at risk. There is a greatly increased risk of premature birth and learning difficulties. Parents of twins have greatly increased rates of depression and marital problems, as well as breakup. Please think very carefully before doing this for trivial reasons. Tell your doctor the truth and let them make the decision. They will almost certainly say no.

You sound quite naive about the whole process if you think transferring 2 means you are "opting" for twins

Also neither you or your husband have experience raising twins. That's really quite insulting to their mother who has actually most likely put all the work in here

Also twins is hard work on a relationship- my marriage didn't survive having twins and it's not unusual - your husbands previous marriage failing should be a warning sign....

We had the option, we put two in and I got pregnant with twins first time. I had a difficult pregnancy, birth was difficult too - I was not fit to care for them in hospital. It was hard, expensive of course but hard, always feeling torn not able to care for them the way I’d have liked, constantly fire fighting, Some people love it though but we were in a new area of the country and I found it lonely and isolating - we had very little help. Having one single child would have been easier but I wouldn’t have gone through pregnancy again, it was too much and I probably feel that way because I carried twins.

The risk of a blast splitting into two and becoming identical twins is quite a lot higher with IVF. You could end up with triplets....

I really wouldn't.

I have ivf twins and absolutely wouldn’t. If you can’t afford single cycles you probably can’t afford the children that would result. It’s not in the children’s best interest to be multiples and you should be putting them first.

No way. Agree that there are a higher proportion of twins born with special needs, for just one of many reasons I would not choose to put back two embryos. Being used to raising twin children is also very different to having twin babies. I would definitely do one at a time.

Mum to twins and a singleton here.

Go for one!

Twins are bloody hard work and I've enjoyed my singleton so much more. It's not just the cost of twins, it's the;

• risk of premature birth and associated risks to babies and NICU stays
• double wake ups
• struggle getting out to groups and clubs with two. Two to hold, two to carry, two to manoeuvre everywhere.
• it's harder to bond as you can't just focus on one
• as they become toddlers it's harder to get out to more interesting places as constantly worried they'll run in different directions.doubke tantrums, so you limit yourself.
• double prams are a bugger for the boot.
• harder to source childcare including family help
• increased incidences of development disorders including speech issues.
• as they get older, school issues keeping them together or not.

Twins are great but I love my singleton experience and I would highly recommend not going for twins, especially if you may only have one or two shots at parenthood. I get the want to increase your chances, but it really is really difficult and I'd have a long hard think about which parenthood you realistically want. Singletons are a hell of a lot easier from my experience.

Such a great and clear response

Really?

So we have a very limited resource pool, why should men get to go round sowing their seed whilly nilly at a cost to the tax payer?

Yes it sucks if you are a woman with a man who has dc already, but there are many other reasons people will be refused, we have to have rules

YABU because there's more risk of harm to you and the babies. Humans aren't designed for multiple pregnancies it sometimes happens naturally but it's not optimal. Much higher risk twice as likely to be stillborn, 3.5 x more likely to die as newborns. More likely to be premature and require NICU care more likely to be disabled cost to the NHS. I say it's selfish to deliberately conceive twins.

Agree