To go for twins via IVF?

[Clandistyne]

DH and I have been trying for two years and are now getting IVF privately. He has eight year old twins from a previous relationship already so I’m not eligible for NHS help. The clinic have asked whether I’d like to implant one embryo or two. We would ideally like two children together.

Pros:

• I’d be 37 by the time any babies from this cycle were born, so reduced likelihood of getting pregnant again later and getting the two we’d like
• Only one pregnancy to go through
• Reduced IVF cost
• We’re used to raising twins already

Cons:

• Riskier pregnancy
• Double costs for everything including nursery at the same time

Has anyone opted for twins via IVF? How did it work out? Am I crazy for considering it?

YAB massively U

I had twins (not IVF) and everything about pregnancy, birth and early years is harder. They've got a much higher rate of prematurity with all the stresses that that involves and things that singleton parents can do are just not always accessible to twin parents because of logistics and parent/ child ratios.

The costs saved in IVF will be dwarfed by the costs and stresses of paying for double of everything throughout their life at the same time.

I adore my (now teenage) twins but it is neither an easy nor convenient path to multiple parenthood.

I had several double embryo transfers. I did 4 double transfers and I got pregnant twice with twin pregnancies. I miscarried both times. On both occasions I lost one baby first and the second several weeks later. I eventually had my eldest daughter at 40 following a single frozen embryo transfer. I think if your not adverse to twins then go for it but don't be afraid to charge direction and opt for a single transfer later.

You're not right that you're decreasing your chance of two if you don't go for twins. You'll do a fresh cycle and get as many embryos as you get. If you put two in at once you've used two up, if you put one in you've actually maximised that embryos chance of becoming a child (slightly less chance of each individual embryo resulting in a child if you put in more than one).

Firstly having two embryos back isnt to give you twins. It's to increase the likelihood of resulting in a pregnancy. That said it only increases the likelihood by about 3% or something miniscule (remember off the top of my head a conversation with my fertility consultant 3 years ago when we had this conversation), where as the likelihood of a premature birth with a twin pregnancy is 50-60% (that coming from me being a neonatal nurse). So honestly if you think them risk/benefit odds are in your favour then go for it. Personally (if you get more that one decent embryo) one in you and one in the freezer as a back up certainly took the pressure off for me!! First round it was all eggs in one basket literally and the negative result on pregnancy test day floored me! Second round I had a few frosties and it certainly took the pressure off. Good luck whatever you decide

Opting for twins is a strange idea - you write like you aren't aware that statistically the most likely outcome is no baby, then one baby, then two. At 36, it's more likely to fail completely than result in twins. Which leads to the biggest con of all - if your lining isn't right, or your progesterone to low, you've wasted two embryos.

Women who have a first baby at 37 are statistically much more likely to get all kinds of complications such as tears, gestational diabetes, pre eclampsia, placenta problems, blood clots etc than someone who has a first child at under 35. People assume that infertility and downs are the only risks but that's not the case

37 isn’t old!!! I had my last at 42- pregnancy, birth and recovery were no harder than my earlier/ younger ones. Your comment is pretty patronising and ignorant to be honest

What CCG area are you in? Wherever you are, double & triple check the fertility referral criteria in your area. My GP was adamant that I didn't qualify for treatment because my partner has 2 children. Saved up, got to our first private appointment and it turned out the rules changed in my area over a year ago but GPs aren't explicitly told, they just have to notice the change, which mine obviously hadn't.

Luckily, we hadn't started treatment and so were able to get an NHS referral and have now started NHS treatment!

OP I mean this very gently but have you actually done any research into IVF at all?

You sound incredibly naive OP. Your pros/cons are laughable. I think some of that fault lies with these clinics who are only interested in making money rather than ensuring people are well informed. You need to do a lot more reading and ask more questions. If they don’t provide better info than you seen to have, find another clinic if you want children.

Interesting to see how things have changed in the 20 years since I had IVF! We had three embryos implanted, which I think was common back then, to maximise the chance of having even one live baby. None of our embryos were particularly good (I seem to remember they liked them to be 8 cells big and ours were 6 and 5), which may have influenced it.

Anyway we had twins as a result, who are now lovely 19-year-olds. They were born at 38 weeks by C section because the lower one was breech. DH and I haven’t regretted having twins for a single instant - with our fertility issues we knew we might never have another, so having two was a gift. I’m not sure how much more work it is than having one, as we have no experience of having a singleton, but I will echo that it is more expensive having to shell out double for things all the time, from car seats to school trips to uni maintenance.

We were lucky that our twins were healthy and everything went smoothly. Statistically twin pregnancies are much riskier to both mother and babies, though, so if you have good embryos and the option of trying one at a time, that might be a safer bet. Surely the clinic will advise you?

Good luck whatever you decide!

I know of a lot of triplets conceived via IVF - I have triplets myself

I would go for one transfer, save any other embryos for another round.

If you get one baby it will make a change for your husband, and will allow you to focus solely on just one child.

@BiancaBlank the thinking for under 40s when I went through it 7 years ago is to put back 2 at most.
I was over 40, I could have gone for 3, but the Embryologist recommended 2 based on the quality of the ones I had. They failed, 5 were also frozen, they recommended do 2, and should they fail try the last 3 together.
They know the quality of the embryos so they also know the risk of one splitting and become identical twins is also higher with IVF.

Not at all....If I was a woman struggling to conceive but happened to be with a partner who had already children with someone else (which many people do in this day and age) I would be doing anything I could (including lying if need be) to mean I could have the baby I so desperately wanted.

It's the rule that's disgusting, and ridiculous, and also outdated with the amount of blended families now.

What do women do? Not fall for a bloke with kids from a previous relationship 'just incase' they can't conceive.....that man's life choices before she entered his life is nothing to do with her, and it's also not fair on the man to carry that burden.

I can imagine it can cause alot of resentment and guilt in relationships, and probably towards the existing children of the partner also.

I’m very surprised they would let you put in two! It’s very very risky and normally there are specific circumstances where they would allow two. I love the idea of twins but I think you’re underestimating the risk. There is a much higher chance of stillbirth and birth problems including from the fact they will have to be premature. Remember they aren’t even ‘natural twins’. It’s a lot on the body.

sorry this reply is disgusting. She’s clearly said her DH’s ex won’t let her see the child! Why should the absolutely awful situation she is in through no fault of her own mean she can’t have a child? Take a look at yourself

This. I”ve been through ivf so I know the stats unfortunately. Especially if you’re over 35.

Yeah egg collection is a big thing and you don’t know how many you’ll get each time, so best to focus on one per go. Each go is around 30% success rate and once you reach 35 goes down.

I know of quads via IVF. I seem to remember they were expecting 6 babies

OP, go for the two embryos.

The chances of one embryo, let alone both of them, actually implanting isn't as high as many people would think.

I myself have had embryo transfers (each time using two embryos) the grand total of five times

Of those five times (so 12 embryos in total), I became pregnant three times (each time with only a single embryo) and miscarried twice.

My daughter is my life's joy, though I do grieve for her two would-be- siblings, and often wonder why the other 9 embryos didn't take...

Christ, I meant six embryo transfers, obviously! Very tired.

Honestly in the gentlest way possible you are being a little naive about IVF and it’s chances of success.

I had 5 rounds of IVF before I got pregnant with my twin girls. It’s brutal and can be totally traumatic. I wish it was as easy as “opting” for twins.

see how your first round goes first, see what the quality of your embryos’s are. Take advice from the Doctors and then weigh everything up which will give you the best chance possible of a pregnancy, forget about twins for now.

i had my twins just a couple of weeks before my 39th birthday. It was a complicated pregnancy, I was at the hospital every single week, some weeks multiple times. They came at 33 weeks and we spent 3 weeks in neo natal. One of my girls was tiny and she is still seeing Endocrinology doctors now over her size. Don’t get me wrong twins are fab, and if we had only had a single pregnancy I’m really not sure I would have put myself through it all again so I realise I am blessed in that my family is complete now.

woukd I choose to have twins again? Yes as the bond they have is incredible and they makes me howl with laughter but fuck me they are HARD!!

good luck with your IVF journey

I’m currently on my second and last NHS cycle, my partner has a child from a previous relationship, we were still entitled to treatment so might be worth asking your clinic if you do qualify as I know a lot of areas differ on their requirements.
Also, my last transfer was a double due to my age (nearly 40), we have been offered a double transfer each time over the last year but only done it once. Both embryos were excellent grades yet neither implanted. A double transfer increases your chances of a single pregnancy not twins (so I was told).
Good luck on your journey, I’m sure you will make the right decision for you and your family x

Is he a decent parent to his current ones I'd be asking.