to ask how do people afford all these things ?

[kermitspants]

Me & DH have a fairly good/decent income between us. What with the cost of living increases etc and general costs to run a house for 5 of us, we don't/cant afford to have many luxuries. I see FB posts with friends (acquaintances) who:

Were celebrating the coronation at home with Fortnum & Mason champagne & hamper

Purchased a brand new landrover as a gift for their wife for Christmas

Brought their DC a brand new car for their 18th

Pop up marquees in the garden with the biggest TV screen for friends to come over and watch England playing

Christmas and the gifts are ££££££ with some people taking the DC to lapland (in addition of the summer holiday they had) and buying top of the range gifts/food/hampers

Have the biggest Christmas trees (ours is usually around 5 foot and costs around £50 (real tree) which I thought was a hell of a lot of money for a tree). Goodness knows how much the bigger trees cost

New York trips for Christmas

My 'luxury' for Christmas food was a posh bottle of M&S prosecco for the table along side Tesco food. I splashed out on a £14 posh bottle of fizz for the coronation, and that was pushing the boat out.

Am I missing something here ????

NB - those who think I am jealous, need not reply.

What is your household income. What is ‘a lot’?

So if you have a high income why can’t you afford a nice hamper? What are you spending your money on? If you have 100k plus coming in, which is what you seem to be implying, and you consider a 14 quid bottle of fizz ‘splashing out’ then I am equally mystified as to what you are spending on

Between DH and I we earn lots.
No inheritance and never will, no family money.
We have 2 DC

Just paid off our mortgage too.

I guess technically without credit card or loans I could pay for all those things, I just wouldn’t because I prefer to spend money on other stuff and save.

Maybe they're just better at finding bargains.

We always get a 7 foot Christmas tree from a local farm, and this year it had gone up to a whopping £17.

Or, I always laugh at the "We only have a £4000 budget, how can we possibly afford a week's holiday for a family of 4?" type posts 😆

I genuinely don't understand the point of these threads. They are an almost daily occurrence and they are so pointless and stupid.

"How do people afford x?"
Well, its blindingly obvious. They have more money than you. Or maybe they don't but they spend more money than you.

Yes it's shit, potentially it's unfair but its not a topic for perplexity or bemusement. We live in an unequal society. Some people have more money than others. They may earn more than you, they may have inherited money, they may have stolen or misappropriated it, they may be racking up huge credit card debts.

How will knowing that other people have more disposable than you make you feel better or help you manage your life? Is it really worth rehashing this utterly gormless question every week?

we have no savings. We are def not overly sensible with money but we are cautious, like most people are - even the ones buying all these luxury things, surely ? They must be able to afford them, either outright or credit, but either way they will have to pay for them eventually.

Are they older? Even 5-10 years can make a significant difference in childcare outgoings, savings, inheritance etc. different values, different priorities.

and if there is something you want - do it once. I got a F&M hamper two Christmases ago as it was on my bucket list. It was great and a lovely memory. I wouldn’t do it again but it really helps me not resent things to occasionally do things and then remember I’ve done them.

maybe you need to do something to break out of the resentment/comparison?

My neighbour gets cheap cars at his work. There's more cars than adults on his drive.

My kids have the latest iPhones and laptops as ex can get them cheap/free through this work

Family paying (to reduce inheritance tax later), debt or people having smaller outgoings are other ways that they could afford this.

@Thepeopleversuswork you seem to think it is as you've invested time to respond.

It's never crossed my mind but if I have a think about it then I'd say that people have inherited money when someone died, or bough and sold early and at the right time subsequently and cleared the mortgage, are happy sticking holidays and hampers on credit cards, lease vehicles, remortgage repeatedly, sell their worn knickers on the internet, lie in bed at 4am worrying about it all, who knows... who cares.

Yes, I have a friend like this and I'm the same I suppose, we both have family money behind us. We're not high earners and don't run up debt. I'm pretty broke but my parents are fairly indulgent/generous towards me.

That said, we don't post anything on social media about it! I only know because she's told me in private, for example mentioning who paid for her new car. Being born into a wealthy family is not a personal achievement, it's just the luck of the draw. It doesn't make her/me a better person.

I'm not a big spender/flashy dresser in general so perhaps some people think it's odd that I get to go on nice holidays and the like. Especially given that I don't even own a car!

Mind you, a lot of people are living beyond their means. Or maybe they just decided to splurge for once (eg Fortnum's hamper) and post about their special treat? Different people like different things.

This! I think people convince themselves others are in debt to try and make themselves feel better.

A friend once said to me “gosh you must be on 75k between you!” It’s actually more than double that so just goes to show people’s perception of money/earnings is often very wrong. We didn’t point that out to him though 😁.

Nothing about your posts makes any sense. You have a high income, you’re cautious about spending, yet you have no savings. Your income is clearly much lower than what many people mean when they say they have a high income, and / or you’re spending a lot of money on living costs.

Different choices. You've chosen to have a house of 5 for example - that will cost considerably more than people who've chosen to have a household of only 2 or 3 people. Some people choose holidays over getting their hair and nails done every few weeks. Some people get bonuses from work. Some people are comfortable with being in debt in order to live the lifestyle they like.

DH and I had this conversation recently and we came to the conclusion that some people are just not debt adverse, so for example we would rather save and buy a car rather than finance one, whereas other people will happily sign up for a monthly finance payment on this basis that they can afford the monthly expense. There's nothing wrong with either outlook, people are just different.

Also some people don't save, they like to spend and enjoy their disposable income each month.

Some people have smaller/no mortgages due to inheritance or clever investments.

Some people have a 'side hustle', sometimes legal, sometimes not!

I've learnt not to take too much from FB by the way, especially the braggy posts, they don't give a true snapshot of life, but you know that anyway.

If they are fb acquaintances you won’t know them inside out.
Assuming they aren’t all one person the car could be leased via business, the holiday to New York could be staying in hotels paid with points due to work travel (what we did)
Lots of people have additional income streams.

@kermitspants

I just don't understand how you can not understand it? It's so simple. Person with £100k income per year is richer than person with £50k income per year. What's to be explained?

If you'd framed it as "what kind of jobs pay £100k per year" it would be more interesting but it's a breathtakingly stupid question which adds nothing except to set off another round of people feeling either shit that they don't earn enough or guilty if they do.

And I'm really tired of reading threads like this on a daily basis tbh.

New cars are not a mystery, they are likely to have bought on finance/leasing deal, few pay outright (I do but for different reasons).

Holidays, I have two sets of friends just been to New york, both pandemic-delayed trips. Don't think you have to be mega mega rich to go there, just prioritise the trip for a special birthday or whatever.

Christmas trees are a diversion- surely it's about having a bigger house that houses the bigger tree, a 7 footer would look silly in my house!

Some people like to flash the cash more, some are more discrete, it's surely not that weird that some people earn more than you or have an inheritance?

I don't earn much compared with your lifestyle probably (lone parent) but I don't think you'd come round my house and think anything weird about it.

My partner and I have a similar income to my sibling and their partner. They go on lots of holidays and have two brand new cars. We don’t. They have a bigger house than us. If you were looking from the outside you’d question why they apparently have a “better” lifestyle. It’s down to:

We spend more money on eating out as we enjoy it. Less money on holidays as lower priority. That isn’t obvious unless we posted every meal on bloody social media though (we don’t).
We have a massive mortgage as work in niche jobs in expensive area, her partner inherited money to put down a massive deposit on a cheaper but larger house (cheaper area). Great for them, but I’m sure her partner would rather have his Grandad back than the money.
DP has a work vehicle and I thrash 600 miles a week out of mine commuting, so not buying a brand new car as a priority.

What you see isn’t the full story. You might be spending your money on kids clubs to enrich your DCs lives while they would rather let them entertain themselves but buy them a flashy new car on tic for social media glory. Don’t sweat it.

I could tell you about things I've got/have done and you'd wonder how given I live on disability benefits which aren't much.
My answer is that it's perfectly doable if you make particular choices.
I have no debt/credit either and no other income or financial gifts, or in fact any gifts.
People only post what they want you to see and that goes for me too

Usually different priorities. Someone prioritises their New York holiday, someone prioritises the football marquee, someone else prioritises nursery fees then doesn't splash that all over Facebook so you won't notice it. Personally I've had a lot of comments asking how we afforded a major holiday and the answer was that we did it fairly cheaply for what we got and we saved like hell for it for years. Maybe you're prioritising something else?

What is your household income?

People have more money than you think. My husband has just received his yearly bonus but none of our friends and family know about this income. This money will pay for our holidays/day trips/weekend breaks for the next 12 months

I don’t know why people assume debt or family money. Sure, in some cases, but not all.

Some people simply have a good income that allows them to do those things. The could very well have two good incomes from positions that also offer bonuses, and investment portfolios that pay out in interest, dividends and capital gains.

Were celebrating the coronation at home with Fortnum & Mason champagne & hamper - just Googled and one of these is £140, which is hardly breaking the bank for a lot of people

Purchased a brand new landrover as a gift for their wife for Christmas - are you sure it was purchased and not leased?

Brought their DC a brand new car for their 18th - as above. Maybe help from GPs if bought?

Pop up marquees in the garden with the biggest TV screen for friends to come over and watch England playing - this would be a few hundred pounds at most

Christmas and the gifts are ££££££ with some people taking the DC to Lapland (in addition of the summer holiday they had) and buying top of the range gifts/food/hampers - high earners, inheritances, monetary gifts from family, cancelled trips/unused flights from pandemic, people treating themselves to a 'once in a lifetime' trip, or just put on the credit card

Have the biggest Christmas trees (ours is usually around 5 foot and costs around £50 (real tree) which I thought was a hell of a lot of money for a tree). Goodness knows how much the bigger trees cost - a large tree is about £100

New York trips for Christmas - as above for holidays