to ask how do people afford all these things ?

[kermitspants]

Me & DH have a fairly good/decent income between us. What with the cost of living increases etc and general costs to run a house for 5 of us, we don't/cant afford to have many luxuries. I see FB posts with friends (acquaintances) who:

Were celebrating the coronation at home with Fortnum & Mason champagne & hamper

Purchased a brand new landrover as a gift for their wife for Christmas

Brought their DC a brand new car for their 18th

Pop up marquees in the garden with the biggest TV screen for friends to come over and watch England playing

Christmas and the gifts are ££££££ with some people taking the DC to lapland (in addition of the summer holiday they had) and buying top of the range gifts/food/hampers

Have the biggest Christmas trees (ours is usually around 5 foot and costs around £50 (real tree) which I thought was a hell of a lot of money for a tree). Goodness knows how much the bigger trees cost

New York trips for Christmas

My 'luxury' for Christmas food was a posh bottle of M&S prosecco for the table along side Tesco food. I splashed out on a £14 posh bottle of fizz for the coronation, and that was pushing the boat out.

Am I missing something here ????

NB - those who think I am jealous, need not reply.

From my exhaustive study of Mumsnetters and why they can't afford things (despite "decent salaries")......
I'm guessing you have accumulated a lot of fixed costs. You either consider these to be "essentials" or you can't get out of them easily.

They afford all those things by having more money than you have. And possibly by not having a household of 5 to house, clothe, and feed. No doubt this is what all 100+ replies have been saying. And credit.

Exactly! And they don't have to answer to anyone, can take holidays when they want etc. Probably get paid in cash a lot.

I worked in an Office environment for 27 years. Couldn't get the holidays I wanted. Always answering to a boss. Always struggling to meet ever increasing targets. Bla bla bla. If I had known then what I know now, I would have worked for myself so much sooner.

When the pandemic hit and I couldn't operate for a few months, one of my clients said "It's a good job you just work for pocket money"....LOL. I wanted to tell her that I earned more than her, but I just smiled and waved.

People have different ideas of essentials, debt and savings.

For some people an essential is a nice holiday, for others it’s paying a high percentage into their pension, for others it’s overpaying the mortgage.

Three people on the same income might say they have no savings in that case and live very different lifestyles.

It's the 3 children. Every child is more expensive than the last one.

I do think the Covid effect too. Some people carried on working as normal but couldn’t spend or hols postponed. Part of our summer 23 holiday is a Covid postponement so holiday is more extravagant than usual.
London based jobs (London money) but living up north.

People look at our house and go wow how could you afford that? Well because we haven’t had a holiday in a decade, while you spent at least £10k on a trip to Disney World and you’ve been three years in a row. And you had a huge wedding too. There’s £50k right there.

Our new car isn’t ours, it actually belongs to DH’s employer. Our big Xmas tree costs about £70 every year, so not loads more than your 5ft tree, and we don’t buy each other gifts so we can spend on wine and food. We are planning to take DC to Lapland but my mum is paying. We probably look quite affluent on social media but we aren’t.

This is us.

Our mortgage is £300/month. Utilities £150. Car £200. Other bills eg insurances are £200. Council tax £150. Total is less than a grand.

We then have about £3k per month leftover.

We save some of it. We spend most of it.

Yes, we should be far more sensible and not piss away a few grand a month, but I’ll be damned if my kids grow up missing out on living now because we tied up all our cash. You are a long time dead!

(should probably add that we are not completely financially irresponsible - our mortgage is nearly cleared and we plan to buy a second property when that happens, and we have very good pensions)

Your health is your wealth.

Ugh. I hate "THIS!!!" posts. Sounds fucking stupid.

Mate, you're jealous and want us to tell you your friends are shit at saving when they just earn more than you or were better at investing earlier on in adulthood.

Do you live in a rich area or something because this is not how the average person lives their life

I think we are the perfect example of how it works! Different priorities simply.
In my case people do "wow how can you afford that" on my 3+ foreign holidays a year+uk short stays.
Well because I bought very cheap house in cheap area so I can afford it.

From my experience they either have a lot of debt or have surplus money because they have had a lot of financial help from family. Of course some people get lucky with a business, or have a really high paid job but even then with the way the world is right now, most are struggling regardless unless they’re a millionaire.
we have an ok income due to having our own business, but that’s only been in the last 3 years so trying to catch up in life, and haven’t had the help from family in regards to deposits, weddings inheritance etc. we were able to afford a nye trip to Disneyland which must have made some people think wow, but the reality is we were broke AF for months after and I still drive my 18 year old car that cost me £500 off eBay. We put our money in different places and we don’t have any loans or credit cards.

Op how much does your family earn then?

you say it’s a large income but that’s meaningless

I find it strange how you think everyone else earns less than you but spends more

no- honestly at least some of them probably just earn more!

I know exactly what you mean OP.
I know a couple who both earn minimum wage (because they’ve told me) and one of the couple works part time. Their parent died and only left debt (because again they told me) and they have spent around 20k in disposable income over the passed year alone on house renovations, cars and luxuries and they eat out a lot. They live like minor celebrities. Money doesn’t seem to be a problem for them and it’s like the cost of living crisis has passed them by. My DH earns almost double what they say they earn, we spend on just the basics and have almost no disposable income. It makes no sense to me either.

most are struggling regardless unless they’re a millionaire.

That's simply not true

That’s not true

it’s not just luck, handouts or inheritance sorry

many people do actually earn a lot - especially where we are in London where six figures is the norm amongst many young professionals

I’d also say assumptions. Assuming job, assuming salary, assuming they don’t have assets - I know never sold first flat and rent it out etc.
Assumptions re cost. I’ve never spent anything like 10,000 on Disney.
We did Florida all in for 3000 inc flights, accommodation, food, universal tickets for 10 nights in Aug 2018 all in school hol dates for 3 of us.

Not true at all. And it's not true that everyone has money from parents.

Genuinely asking. What the hell are you spending it on if you are earning 130k as a household and think 14 quid on Prosecco is splashing out?

Credit

Not clear how much you earn if £14 bottle of fizz is pushing the boat out. Do you ever go out for dinner/drinks? As a cocktail could be that amount or a couple of glasses of wine.

I could afford all you mentioned and I’m a single parent with 2 kids. You’d never guess how much I earn, or that I have no mortgage. But that doesn’t mean for example I’d splash out on a hamper, I still might say oh that expensive, I’ll make my own. And buying my child a car, I could do it easily out of savings.

For me what it boils down to is I have a fear of spending too much eg I could afford a £100 tree but would tell myself no that’s stupid, I’ll get a £30 tree for example. Whereas other people might say that’s what I want, I’ll just pay it.

Rubbish sorry

often actual income

why do people genuinely struggle to understand that there are truly successful, high earning people out there?

Comparison is the thief of joy, OP

I'm pretty sure you wouldn't have to go too far from where you live to find someone who wonders how you ever achieve the lifestyle you have.

Someone living in poverty in the UK is still better off than someone living in a shanty town somewhere.

It's all relative.

@YaWeeFurryBastard

I don't think single income households should be subsidised by the taxpayer. I just don't think they should pay significantly more than other households on the same gross income either.

If a dual income household can pay X for their healthcare, education, roads, police etc, than why can't a single income household on the same total gross income pay the same tax? Why should a single income household in my example pay £5k more in tax and lose £2k in benefits than the dual income one? Why does their household cost the state £7k more than a dual income one?