I am a first time mum and have been on my own with ds since he was 4 weeks old. Had no contact with the father since. This is relevant because father’s absence has had no impact on my ability to cope with ds who is now 9 months. I expected to be unable to manage.
Before anyone comments that this is a ‘stealth boast’ as I’ve seen referred to on here before, I can assure you that it is not. This is a real concern I have especially now it looks like I am bringing ds up alone.
He sleeps, wakes only briefly in the night and settles within a few minutes. He’s had one evening ever of crying longer than 30 minutes. We were out on a walk today and an elderly couple began chatting. They kept saying they couldn’t believe how placid he was, asking me if he was always like this and it was so unusual. He was just looking round, unfazed.
He does cry sometimes but it’s brief. There is eye contact but sometimes he will ignore me completely. I might show him
something on a walk and it seems like he doesn’t know I am there. I can leave him to play for 20 minutes without him seeking attention.
Have I done something wrong? I hear so many stories of babies being tricky and crying a lot and developing needs for certain toys etc but ds isn’t like that. He will go with the flow and I have googled it over and over and I keep being told that basically he will have issues as he grows and be extremely hard to manage. On an emotional level I am not ok at the moment and I honestly don’t know what I would do if I end up having to manage a very difficult child on my own. I can’t relax at all as I feel he is just too laid back and suddenly he’s going to get bigger and like Google says, massive difficulties will start. Has anyone got experience of this and how I can prepare? I feel so alone and worried maybe I have caused this as I didn’t go out much after the break up with ds’s dad.