To keep my son off school.

[ThankYouMama]

GM.

My partner has been admitted into hospital for treatment for his OCD.

Our 6 year old son is upset and confused, our 17 month old is staying at my partners mother until he has finished his treatment and is feeling better.

Yesterday he behaved pretty badly, and is refusing to go to school today. I really don't want to send him, because I don't know how he is going to behave whilst there, and I will probably be on edge for the whole day

But you just said you can’t manage…

She doesn't need a job she's a multimillionaire

I really hope you get the help you need. Don't worry about social services if you need help and they offer they do try to keep families togeather if they can. As for youngest being with DPs mum heard plenty of stories where grandparents have gone for custody if they think they need to step in !

Just because you can have children does not mean you should , definitely true in this case

Wow! Your DP has done a real number on you hasn't he. Tells you you are unfit to mother your own children, you can't do anything around the house, can't work, suffering from anxiety (no doubt brought on my DPs behaviour) and he has cheated on you in the past.

Your DP must be laughing. He knows you won't leave him as you haven't already and don't have the confidence to do so. And if you dare leave him, he has all the evidence he needs to ensure you won't get custody of your own children.

Please OP, contact Women's Aid today for help and advice.

So you, at 20 were having sex with a 17 year old and got knocked up?!?

A very fair point.

I think whatever the whole story is it sounds like it’s a damaging relationship for all involved.

OP use the time he is in hospital to get some stability for you and the children. Focus on providing them with a stable home - contact oragainsations like Sure start or similar for support.

when he is discharged it may be best for him to live with his mum and you both learn how not to rely on each other to a dangerous level

That's legal and really not that bad why u making it weird

“No, I actually wanted another baby, I was hoping for a girl. I feel as if our son would have been a girl the whole situation would be a-lot different, I would want her with me at all times”

Your poor boys. Please get the help you need.

He's in The Priory.

Over 1k a night they must be loaded most inpatient stays for mental health usually last months

No he hasn't, he knows I would never harm our children.

I have never raised my voice at our six year old and he can be extremely naughty and behave like a spoilt brat i.e not moving and stamping his foot (that kind of spoilt brat behaviour) and I have never and would never lay a finger on each of our boys.

What about hiring a nanny for help with children

@kittensinthekitchen you’ve hit the nail on the head there. But, from what we all see on MN, a SAHM being left at home with the kids/housework/cooking etc is being treated badly by the partner and all the advice is to leave because they deserve better. The OP is doing no different (based on what she has said) yet the partner is still the one being accused here. The double standards are baffling.

OP has outright said herself that she would be a more present mother to her child if he were a girl. There’s a lot more going on here than what is being portrayed.

What a horrible way to describe normal 6 year old behaviour.

@ThankYouMama you keep talking as if physical abuse is the only way you could harm your children, and since you don't do that, there are no concerns. Abuse comes in different forms and your situation is desperate and deeply concerning; help is available.

It is weird. Unless he knocked her up instantly they were likely 16 and 19 when they started sleeping together. If it was the other way round ... well I can't imagine many parents here being happy with their 16 year old daughter out having sex with a 19 year old boyfriend..

Exactly, wondering where on earth they met!

I genuinely don't see the issue the majority of 16 year olds are having sex and have been for a long time

I have never raised my voice at our six year old and he can be extremely naughty and behave like a spoilt brat i.e not moving and stamping his foot (that kind of spoilt brat behaviour) and I have never and would never lay a finger on each of our boys.

Again not normal way to talk about a six year old who is behaving within normal bounds.

I would seek urgent support OP - you are really negative about your children and that's not normal - occasionally down sometimes frustrated yes but this is really odd way to think let alone write about your own children.

There are on-line parenting courses out there:

https://www.familylives.org.uk/how-we-can-help/online-parenting-courses

If you can't get to anything local - but you do need to do something - none of this is normal.

But also see your GP and HV as soon as possible - they are there to offer help and support.

OP can I ask you a couple of things.
Do you feel bonded with your younger son? You don’t spend much of the day with him in normal times and wished for a girl. Do you love him, feel strongly bonded? Does he call out for you? Miss you when you are gone?

How does it make you feel when your H won’t let you socalise with your son to friends etc? When he strips him off to check for bruises? You have said he knows you won’t harm him so what is he checking for?

What would happen if you took your younger son on the school run and stayed out all day with him? Doing something fun with him? Would you face abuse when you got home?

You say you can’t cope with 2 children but then say you would have a girl with you all the time. How would you cope better with a 17 month girl (and older son) but not a 17 month boy?

What has lead you to this situation? What made you want to get pregnant at 20? Why don’t you feel you can cope? What has given you such crippling anxiety? Did you have the same anxiety before you met your H? Why won’t you seek help for yourself your children’s sake? Are you afraid of them being taken? Of your H? Does he refuse for you to get help?