What is it with people and the idea of being “grown up”?

[ChiChaNaYubi]

Spent another evening with family being told my husband and I are “childish” and “how old are you?” And “when are you going to grow up?”

I just find it all so strange. We are grownups. We own 2 properties, have careers, children, we pay bills, drive sensible cars etc.

Yet because we enjoy gaming, playing Pokémon go on walks, having nerf gun wars, skating etc we are just looked down on and treated like idiots. I see it on here sometimes as well with people looking down on adults who enjoy Disney or wearing dungarees for example.

What is this weird obsession with conforming to a set idea of what a grown up should look like?

Aibu to think it doesn’t matter how people spend their downtime when the daily grind is done? Do you feel like this or have people who make comments like this?

I run our local Pokémon Go FB group and people are always surprised when I tell them we've always had more adults than kids in our group but also at raids etc. The only kids who play(ed) it tend to be ones of parents who play and most of them have given up now while the adults still play.

I'm 41, rapidly approaching 42. I wear leggings and dungarees in bright patterns/prints, my favourite TV show is Futurama but I love all sorts of cartoons, I play PoGo (7071 2330 6230 ), Animal Crossing and The Sims. I collect rubber duckies and unicorn things. I go to the cinema alone to watch Marvel movies. I love colouring in and reading YA fiction.

DH's main hobby is making model planes and ships. We've also started making Warhammer models together.

If people think we're childish then IDGAF. I've lost too many friends in my life so far to not want to live my life doing the things I love because I learned at the age of 17 that it's way too short. I've always taught my kids to enjoy what they want and not to let people shame them for the things that bring them joy.

I also enjoy going to the theatre, art galleries, museums and the orchestra, we love watching documentaries, I knit and crochet. But I'm not going to start liking something that I don't want to, just because I'm supposed to "act my age".

And tbh one of the best things about playing PoGo as an adult is that most pubs are pokestops so I can PoGo-pub crawl.

Interesting.
I am in my 30s and I see philosophy as a teenage hobby (both when I was a teen among my friends and later observing youngsters).
Painting and gardening are granny hobbies for me.

On the other hand gaming is mainstream millennial adult fun from my experience - the huge number of quite expensive games on Kickstarter is possible thanks to big number of gamers getting to the stage of life with professional jobs and adult spending money.

One urban fantasy writer said, that he expected his readers to be "people like him", so was surprised when he learned that relevant proportion of his readers group are women who were buying Harry Potter books to their children and found out they like a good story with a bit of magic and mystery.

I spoke about this to my mum recently. She replied that she’s in her sixties, paid off mortgage, two settled and successful “grown up” children, and still yet to feel like a grown up. So, it’s probably all just a fallacy to make you feel shit about yourself, so just bloody embrace being “childish” because it’s great!

I still read the chalet school. I’m in my fifties.

6530 1717 2698

My trainer code!

There's a Polish song I like that's about age restrictions (not in any serious sense!). It starts off that "We cannot go to the cinema today / Allowed from the age of 18" and "Am I allowed to fall in love with you? Will someone say in a serious tone, only from the age of 18?" The narrator then gives some things that are allowed to the age of 18, like laughing and singing too loudly and having a snowball fight. But the song concludes that time passes quickly, soon you will be over the 18, but that even if you are over 30 (I know, not a dire age, but it is settled adulthood) or you're having a bad mood, "then do everything that's allowed only to the age of 18".

In personal life, apart from a certain relative's constant criticisms about the way I dress being age related (used to be not youthfully enough, now it's too youthful; actually the main problem for her is probably that it's insufficiently feminine, since also a nice linen top was 'too officey'!), I also received comments from her when I was in a shop buying a pinwheel, that I was 20-odd and not just the -odd. I like looking at it spin around and round; it brings me a little cheer.

Grannys are adults.

Gaming: not childish

Rage Quitting: childish

See you on SoS if you’re there! I’m Tink on 1087!

Tbf I’d end up saying ‘but if I was grown up then that would mean I’d be boring like you’

Painting and gardening are granny hobbies for me.

Really? Children usually love to draw and paint. How is it a granny hobby?

If they weren't intended for adults then they wouldn't... you know... start catering for adults. Now I'm an adult and working and earning money I can afford to buy the games and collectibles and toys I want that I wasn't allowed as a child because they were too expensive for what they were.

People in their 30s grew up on Pokemon for example, we don't drop those hobbies as we grow up. Now I want to get back into Pokemon Go!

Honestly quite surprised with all the support tbh though - being as this is Mumsnet and drinking milk, pop, hot chocolate and squash are also all childish according to them!

No-one doubts that adults take part in these activities.

The fact that corporation know they can make money out of "adult" Lego and "adult" colouring books doesn't stop these things being childish. I bet there are "adult" join-the-dots books as well.

There are
They are more advanced and aimed at adults. Just like the adult colouring books or big Lego sets

More complex, more developed, more advanced, require finer motor skills etc. Because they aren't childish.

But even if an adult wants to colour a "kids" colouring book, that's also fine. Because adults can make their own minds up

Yes, adults can choose to do all or any of these childish things. But they remain childish ( Lego kits and colouring books ) because they are play versions of genuine adult skills ( construction and painting/drawing ).

Most adults don't need to develop fine motor skills, because they are adults. They have developed these skills when they were children by playing with toys.

I've re-read some of my old Famous Five books as an adult. They can be nostalgic and comforting (and also racist and classist and terribly written). It doesn't suddenly make them them adult literature.

I’m a parent "goth". I’m 34 but look younger because I’m only 5ft, wear a lot of black make up and have a baby face. I get ridiculed for how I look on a daily basis by the knobheads around here because they assume I’m a fellow teenager or because I’m not wearing a tracksuit. Also play Pokémon daily, and enjoy a good nerf gun war with my 11 year old DD.
All of DD's life, if I've taken her to the GP, hospital etc with DM in tow they speak to her as the adult. If it's just me and DD then I'm spoken to dismissively. As if I didn’t give birth to her and bring her up alone for 11 years.
People are dicks, and bloodyminded to boot.

If you have to try so hard to argue that something aimed at adults isn't for adults you might have a problem

and i laugh at Top Gear when James May says COCK

To be fair, that is quite funny.

I say bullocks to them OP, if you enjoy yourselves, go for it. Life is too short to give a toss what others think of you.

Agree. Sounds more fun than watching TV all day

I think a lot of people would be envious that they have lost the sense of fun and playfulness that you enjoy. They are just miserable, ignore them and carry on enjoining

I pity those who have been forced to put away childish things - they become bitter, miserable twats who have a nasty sense of superiority over others and are no fun at parties! The types that corner you in the living room when you'd rather be on the kitchen floor playing fetch with the dog - so they can blather on at you about their pension plan and their investment portfolio.

We love Warhammer and Lego here, all manner of arts and crafts, computer games, board games, model building etc. We watch a fair bit of animated stuff (but then cartooning and animation are very much related to my work too), we LOVE ridiculous comedy horror/gore films (Aquarium of the Dead, Zombeaver, etc)...

I can do my taxes, sort my accounts, run my biz, attend boring meetings about the app I am involved with, but its all to fund the fun in the end! Only the bare minimum of boring shit happens here.

Ahem I do like knitting and Radio 4 at times though.. :)

Didn’t you know that you are supposed to watch football, go to the pub, and enjoy the latest reality tv show like the majority? 🥱

Nothing “childish” about playing. When we stop playing, it’s worrying, imo.

but I am 50 and I just spent the weekend dressed as Star Wars characters, visiting children’s hospitals, handing out toys. :D

yes, fully grown ass adult, and I dress up in costumes. Also, most the people who do it with me are my age are older, because we can finally afford these really high end expensive costumes we would’ve loved to have had when we were kids :-P

crack on. People who tell others to “grow up,” if it’s shaming someone about their fun / playful side (rather than, say, referring to bullying or something)

are in need of help & therapy to let themselves remember how to enjoy some lighthearted times.

I go to the footy and pub regularly too. I'm just playing Pokémon Go at the same time.

I've cosplayed a good bit as well. I had two hen parties, one at a ComicCon and the other was just a local pub crawl. I cosplayed as Leela from Futurama at the former (and wasn't the first time I was Leela) but I've also been there in later years as Linda from Bob's Burgers (and my youngest joined me as Louise). My eldest now attends loads of ComicCons and spends a lot of their wages on amazing cosplay outfits but they look amazing at them all. I've even helped both my kids make different parts of cosplays and Halloween costumes (my youngest went out at Halloween as the main character from the game Cult of the Lamb and I made the entire costume myself).

I don’t give two thoughts for people like that. I’m waiting for the new Zelda for the switch to show up on Friday. I’m 42. I love playing stuff like that with my kids or are 14 & 12. I’m still a grown up. I cook, clean, work, care for them when they are ill. So what if you enjoy life in a different way to other people’s expectations. No one is being hurt. Go for it OP.