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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you have a problem with the burkini?

817 replies

Mvslimah · 07/05/2023 20:28

Honest answers please

would you give a woman (maybe Muslim maybe Jewish) a wide berth if you saw them wearing a burkini or modest (Ie fully covered) swimsuit at a pool?

if you see a woman wearing one do you give it a second thought or is it just a meh, who cares?

tia

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Adviceneeded234 · 07/05/2023 21:21

I’m a non practicing Muslim and although I don’t wear a burkini, after years of wearing skimpy bikinis which left me feeling exposed uncomfortable and ogled at by men, I now wear a swim suit that cover just above my knees. I still wear bikinis occasionally but mostly covered up.

men don’t have to wear a bikini and wear shorts so why do I have to? My husband is South African and has always said a lot of women there wear more covered up swim suits.

@girlfriend44 i feel sorry for you for bowing down to societal pressure by men and putting yourself on display, see how your view is one sided? It’s a shame you are so narrow minded

Sailingaround · 07/05/2023 21:22

OneFrenchEgg · 07/05/2023 21:14

I would notice and not make any comment or reaction. I definitely wouldn't tut or stare.
I do have similar thoughts to previous posters about the wider cultural issues of women being expected to cover up while men are free to wear what they want. I don't agree it's a free choice if someone is raised in a culture where modesty is valued. But that's not in my power to address and so I don't mention it unless eg in the context of this type of thread.

So is it a free choice for women in British raised in non-Muslim families/areas to wear revealing swimming outfits then since showing skin - especially if you are youngish and slim - is valued ?

We are all socialised and influenced into something, our opinions and thoughts aren’t necessarily all completely independent of how we are raised, what we consume in the media etc but this isn’t just limited to Muslim women.

I am not Muslim btw, but I’ve had some silly comments from men about wearing too much on the beach. There is an expectation to not cover up on the beach.

hereiamagainn · 07/05/2023 21:22

Course not, I’d be jealous, wish I had one, and so probably does anyone else who sees me in my cozzie!

Choconut · 07/05/2023 21:23

I've been to a few countries where the women go in the sea fully covered - I like to be fairly well covered at the beach too as I burn easily, shoulders covered and shorts. So I wouldn't be surprised to see someone wearing a burkini, I would just assume they were Muslim.
I'm sorry people were rude to you OP, you weren't affecting anyone else in any way. Please don't let them make you feel like you can't go back. You sound lovely, they sound awful.

Clumsykitten · 07/05/2023 21:23

girlfriend44 · 07/05/2023 20:32

I think what a shame, that they are bowing down to what a man says, when a man can do what they want.
They are agreeing to be treated like a second class citizen, men and women are equal.

I'm glad it's not me. It's time they came out of the dark ages.

Huh. One could apply that to women in bikinis equally to Burkinis.

I personally think that hiding one’s prejudices behind a veneer of feminism is BS. It’s not feminism if you don’t support women’s choices, even if they are different to your own.

Doggymummar · 07/05/2023 21:23

First time I saw it, in Tunisia in the 80s aged about 16 I thought it was weird as the ladies husband and son were in Speedos but I cME FROM Aa small village of only white people. Nowadays I would think nothing it.

ArcticSkewer · 07/05/2023 21:23

Mvslimah · 07/05/2023 21:17

Why shouldn’t it be allowed? I don’t understand, it’s swimming costume material? What’s the difference. There is no drowning risk.

and the hygiene thing I think is bollox given how many people pee in the pool. I did life saving as a child and I had to wear clothes in the pool for that

Show quote history

It's an opinion. People have different ones. Op asked. I don't like them in public baths. The sea/rivers - whatever.

I'm assuming hers was at least swimming costume material.

Op will get lots of affirming views on this thread but as she found out, some people do consider them to be pretty unhygienic. They are banned in French pools in some regions (or possibly everywhere I am not sure), along with long board shorts (which are also often worn before going into the pool and pick up dirt, along with the excess material). I'm with the French on that. The British are quite minging in general though - see also sauna etiquette.

Binningtonianrose · 07/05/2023 21:23

Nigella Lawson famously wore one on a beach and no one cared.

Huskysf · 07/05/2023 21:24

I would probably notice it but then wouldn’t give a second thought. I’m really truly sorry to hear of your experience from other women. I wear bikini’s but I wouldn’t think twice if another lady a full coverage suit or Burkini in the same pool as me. I really hope it doesn’t stop you from going again but I can’t even begin to imagine how you feel. Big hugs

DeadButDelicious · 07/05/2023 21:24

I wouldn't give it a second thought OP.

Actually that's not strictly true, I would be interested to know where they got it from. I prefer to cover up when at the baths, I have a pair of swim leggings I wear with my swim dress. A one piece suit rather than separates is something I'm interested in.

I also think it's sensible on the beach, I have very pale skin that burns, covering up is the best thing for me.

I'm sorry you got that kind of treatment OP, that's not ok.

Adviceneeded234 · 07/05/2023 21:24

@ArcticSkewer if your so concerned about it being unhygienic leave your fanny and other parts out of the pool. 😂🤣

JustMyOnion · 07/05/2023 21:25

As much as another woman takes notice of me in a dress!

Notjustabrunette · 07/05/2023 21:26

I lived in the Middle East and regularly saw women wearing them at the pool/beach. They are made of the same type of fabric as a sunsafe suit. In the winter months the pool and sea was actually quite cold so I would wear a long sleeve swimsuit. I never considered this to be unhygienic in a pool.
I have seen women wearing clothes in the pool which was a bit gross.
I think they an are good option to allow women to feel comfortable at the beach. I know some Catholics who wouldn’t swim because they didn’t want to be seen in a swimming costume either.

MaisieDaisyMay · 07/05/2023 21:26

ArcticSkewer · 07/05/2023 21:11

I don't think they should be allowed in public swimming baths - if you are talking about the full length ones? No opinion either way about beaches (assuming they are not a drowning risk if not actual swimming costumes). I wouldn't share my opinion with you at the pool though, and they are currently allowed so it's not my business either way.

But at least it was presumably an actual swimming costume designed to swim in?

I once saw a group of people swimming in actual clothes in a pool. Now that really is disgusting and unhygienic and I was pretty horrified the pool allowed it.

I'm heading towards the French approach for pool water hygiene these days (wear very little).

@ArcticSkewer

You would not want me to take the 'French approach'. Trust me.

I wear a swim suit with mens swim shorts & a t shirt. Everyone benefits from my modesty! Trust me

Cherryblossoms85 · 07/05/2023 21:27

I saw one yesterday. Lady seemed quite happy and chatty. Why would I mind or comment? People are odd.

Divorcedalongtime · 07/05/2023 21:27

No how weird. Obviously you can’t help but notice.
one thing I have noticed though is that more and more of us western women are choosing high neck, long sleeved, shorts type swim wear.

uhtredbebbanburg · 07/05/2023 21:28

I would notice because I have literally never seen one in real life but it wouldn't bother me in the least bit.

ArcticSkewer · 07/05/2023 21:28

Adviceneeded234 · 07/05/2023 21:24

@ArcticSkewer if your so concerned about it being unhygienic leave your fanny and other parts out of the pool. 😂🤣

I just don't go to public swimming baths any more. I found that solved the problem.😘

AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 07/05/2023 21:29

@ArcticSkewer any scientific evidence for the "minging" aspect?

MenopausalMe · 07/05/2023 21:29

No but I did stop one woman in my local pool to ask where she’s bought hers as it looked great and very practical (she’d bought it in Turkey sadly not locally)

Florencey · 07/05/2023 21:29

Mvslimah · 07/05/2023 20:37

Thanks ladies!

i just had the most awful experience at a public swimming pool with my kids today, first time I’ve taken them in the UK normally hubby does. Dirty looks, head shakes, and very audible comments from a few ladies.

I’d wanted to go every week for some healthy family fun, and it’s a very nice pool, lovely splash area but truthfully was a bit iffy on going back.

Genuinely feel really sad you experience that, horrible people. I have no idea why people have to conduct themselves in that way! So rude and mean. Hope you're okay op, don't let it out you off going back

NeatCompactSleeper · 07/05/2023 21:30

Paq · 07/05/2023 21:20

@NeatCompactSleeper because I don't want to see naked arses in public ☺️

A woman in one on the beach last year bent over right in front of me and I could literally see her genitals.

Someone exposing their genitals in public, is completely different to someone wearing a swimsuit that shows their bottom cheeks though.

So again, why would you have a problem with a high cut swimsuit in a swimming pool?

saveforthat · 07/05/2023 21:30

girlfriend44 · 07/05/2023 20:32

I think what a shame, that they are bowing down to what a man says, when a man can do what they want.
They are agreeing to be treated like a second class citizen, men and women are equal.

I'm glad it's not me. It's time they came out of the dark ages.

This.

ShowUs · 07/05/2023 21:30

I can’t believe there are still some people who are still so judgemental over a woman covering their body.

Whats ironic is that these same women would judge another women who’s wearing a skimpy bikini for not covering up enough.

Women can’t win.

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