Increase in culture of envy

[BrighteyesBonnie]

AIBU to think that the culture of envy has increased significantly in the UK (if Mumsnet is anything to go by)?

For example, a thread by a lawyer asking whether their current salary is fair given their qualifications and years of experience contained a lot of responses angry that the OP is earning more than them and also ridiculing the OP for wanting a better salary.

Another example are threads on private schools, where there is a strong undercurrent of anger at those who are sending or want to send their children to private schools. Privately educated people are viewed with harsh lenses and often insulted.

Ambition and doing well do not appear to be appreciated if you’re doing better than the average.

I think the satisfy for through waves of reverting the rich versus an ‘eat rich the mentality’ dependant on what state the economy is in and I think we’re in the latter right now. You could see it in particular when people’s started turning against Hollywood celebrities during Covid when a lot of them made fairly tone deaf responses. I think the lawyer’s post you mention was asking a reasonable, justified question. But you can see why it might get a rise from some people during a cost of living crisis

I meant to say ‘I think society goes through waves of revering the rich’

The implied victim hood of the term just cracks me up.
So … not only do parents of privately educated children get to buy privilege and better life chances but they also get to whinge about ‘envy’ when state schools don’t have a pot to piss in? Give your head a wobble.
Also, don’t you think it’s inevitable for some to feel angry at the inequality in this country when children are going hungry and nurses and teaching assistants are forced to use food banks?
Poor poor you if you suffer because others are ‘envious’. Of course, many will say that they have ‘worked hard’ and ‘made sacrifices’ and that the poor simply have no concept of ‘priorities’. It’s mostly down to luck and the accident of birth.

Nah, they're just not getting pats on the hand and 'Aww, poor you' comments now that they're feeling a bit hard done by.

It's what happens when people in general have been subjected to the 'Well, just demand a payrise/get a better job and treble your salary/move somewhere cheaper/can't you take in ironing?' comments for years from the same group of posters who are now getting aeriated over school fees and not having large bonuses and payrises given to them for merely gracing a Zoom meeting or two a week.

Hmmm... well plenty of people on here seem to moan about the royal family having unearned privilege.

Is private school any different? Should some children be entitled to a better education than others simply because they happen to be born to well off parents?

In both cases it's just an accident of birth.

I find the culture of envy increases in direct proportion to the culture of rich/poor divide.

digitalsynopsis.com/inspiration/privileged-kids-on-a-plate-pencilsword-toby-morris/

I think that many more people are now aware that ‘ambition and hard work’ as an explanation for success is usually bollocks. And that the privileged have infuriatingly thin skins in this matter. And that they’ll do their very best to buy ‘ambition and hard work’ for their children, so a level playing field is impossible for other children.

'The culture of envy'
Do you mean envy?

you forget she’s privately educated.

Money well spent. Well, spent.

The person on the lawyer thread described £62k as barely over £50k. They didn’t pitch their question well!

I think it’s about the right time and place. That job poster should have posted on a legal board to get higher quality responses. Even Reddit would have been better to gauge if their salary was fair or not. It’s not like MN is renowned for being a base for solicitors to gather. They didn’t post in the right place so got comments from people who don’t understand and can’t relate. Not all of the comments were out of place either, there were people genuinely trying to help.

People replying in a cantankerous way on those threads are not doing so out of envy.

The trouble is that some 'doing better than the average' posters can sometimes appear to be either blithely ignorant of the struggles of those less well-off, or are condescendingly smug.

It’s pointless though. For the lawyer thread for example, a lawyer not looking for a pay rise and thus earning less doesn’t mean all the teachers complaining earn more. In fact it means they earn less if there is less going into the tax pot to fund them. If one person sends their child to a state school instead of private that’s one less place at the state school available to someone else and it doesn’t stop the child from growing up with privilege.

I mean the culture of envy that is plaguing our society. Yes, de culture of envy.

Take the solicitor who asked about the fairness of her salary. She chose a career that, because of certain characteristics of that labour market, means she can command a pretty good salary. She acquired the relevant qualifications and years of experience needed. Yet some here thinks she represents a problem. A problem of inequality. A figure to hate because somehow she is responsible for the cost of living crisis. She is responsible for the hardship of others.

Culture of envy that many seems to think is justified. Perhaps it’s hatred for those who are doing better in society. Why are they doing better? Apparently, it’s not by merit but rather nepotism and other underhanded practices.

I doubt many people mind other people being paid what they earn.

As long as they are also being paid what they earn.

I don't get why people come onto a thread and ridicule someone's genuine query because that person's circumstances are different. Surely you would read and reply to only those relevant? So I agree with you OP. if someone genuinely wanted advice on purchasing a house or moving jobs that's fair enough. It would only be tone deaf to go onto a thread about someone being evicted or made redundant and give their story there. You could apply that to anything, is a complaint about DH not tidying up tone deaf to someone whose DH has terminal cancer and would love to swap problems? No because their problem exists for them and its valid.

I think you're confusing concepts here. What you're calling 'envy' is actually 'nobody cares'.

In a climate where many people are struggling to make ends meet, someone whinging about their £60k+ salary is unlikely to bring out an orchestra of tiny violins.

If you think your employer undervalues you and there's more money out there, change job. Don't start a thread insinuating that £60k+ is pocket change when it's more than many couples bring in between them.

People need to read the room.

The 'issue' (?) is that plenty, like you, blindly take it out on those you perceive to be more privileged, without stopping to think.

State schools.
Plenty that are 'better' than private schools mainly because of their demographic. Affluent, educated parents, who buy up all the expensive houses in the catchment area and can afford to supplement both the school's income and their own kids' education via tutoring.

In fact I'd say that the ABOVE is actually more harmful as it pushes the really deprived out into 'sink' schools. Rather than if these parents went private entirely.

But no anger for the above - why?

Hungry children, underpaid nurses - how is that the fault of high earners? Who pay the majority of income tax. It's not their fault the government squanders it, or gives large corporations tax breaks.

What should they be doing to not be blithely ignorant of the hardships of others?

Why should people who are doing well be made to feel ashamed of their success or that they ought to preface everything they say or do with some sort of acknowledgment of those less well off?

It goes without saying that there will always be someone better off, prettier, taller, healthier, etc than you. Why is there an expectation that people must be almost apologetic to you for doing better.

This is a free country and the choices we make determine the paths we take in life and the financial success attached to these paths.

Does equality mean we should all be equally well-off?

It's capitalism. We're trained to want.

It's the same when people make faux naive posts like "Where can I possibly buy a house for £1.1million..." and expect to be received by a chorus of people dealing with the same "dilemma".

Nobody cares? Hmmm, interesting concept.