baby... is this a harmful/sub optimal environment?

[imelp]

Single mum to a seven month old, maternity leave us ongoing. Our days are all the same, nice routine, a few toys, once a week watches me cook, fifteen mins story time a day, one bath a day. Three days a week we might do a walk. Once a week we go to the supermarket.

On average we see people once a week (my mum) for two hours and she will talk and play. Obviously there is interaction sometimes when we are out on a walk, dc might see a dog or someone will say hello, same in supermarket. But they basically just see me, day in day out and obviously my reserves are low as I am constantly looking after them…I’m not always fully engaging etc.

I have started to really panic about their development. They will be at nursery at age one and I am scared they’ve had no real interaction with others. They seem happier around more people too and this upsets me. Am I doing things wrong? How can I do better if so?

Doesn’t seem to be much going on there. Why are you only cooking once a week?

Any baby groups/classes in the area you could join?

I’m sure baby is fine but you must be bored out of your mind.

@GCWorkNightmare i mean once a week it’s a bigger cooking session so I let dc watch. If I’m boiling an egg I wouldn’t bother involving them. I personally don’t like baby groups at all @Patchworksack im not bored I am enjoying the break from work but just started to get worried about dc and what I should be doing

The baby will be fine but I would mix it up more, for both of you. Try getting to some baby groups of you can or join peanut and try meeting some other mums to get your kids together.

This!
I needed to get out of the house to a class or see someone every day. My little girl is 18 months now and we both get bored if we are in all day. Need variety and human contact, especially on mat leave.

Do you talk to your baby when it’s just the two of you? You can do things like narrate what you’re doing - even if it’s the same things you do everyday.
When they’re tiny you can also read aloud whatever to them. Newspapers, whatever novel you happen to be reading yourself.

Can you take baby to any baby groups. I'm a single mum and when my son was that age I attended 3 activities a week. I did Yve to pay for some but the local health visitors ran activities such as a rhyme class which was free to attend. Out of all of them that was one of the best. I can highly recommend Hartbeeps if it runs where you live. My son loved it as he could investigate, enjoy the music etc.

Sounds fairly normal tbh. Some people might go to more groups. Could you add singing/story time at the library? If your worried

Why don't you go out every day?

It’s fine, but perhaps do some baby groups so that she’s used to seeing other babies and you get a change of scene/ other adults to talk to?

Don’t worry if you can’t though. DD1 was a pandemic baby so we hardly did anything before she went to nursery, and she thrived there.

Maybe a baby massage class or something would be good. At 7 months I wouldn't worry, baby will be showing what they need by 1.

Both of my DDs first years were a lot like this and DD1 (4) at least seems fine. DD2 obviously has her sister which I feel counts as interaction. I never went to any baby groups.

I wouldn't worry too much at this age as groups are more for mums benefit anyway. It might take them time to get used to nursery but they will get plenty of socialisation and stimulation there.

Hmm I see where your concern is but your baby will be happy with just you at the moment. Even worst case scenario she doesn’t know there are other options so she doesn’t know she’s missing out 😄

I often wonder I’m not doing enough/playing enough with my baby too. She doesn’t help herself though as her naps are all over the place so hard to plan stuff.

Our week usually consists of an errand day, a playground trip, a rhymetime at the library, a baby dance/sensory session. Other than that it’s walking around at home, watching Baby Club, napping. I need to read with her more.

Now she’s 1 I plan to do swimming once a week and more woodland walks in the backpack (but then I worry she’s restricted and would rather be walking herself). Forest school once a week from September. An art club which looks awesome once she’s 2.5ish so that’s ages away.

Pre-18 months I’d say is easy in that they don’t need much entertainment. But hard in that they don’t need much entertainment 😄 can be dull.

If it makes you feel any better, DS was 7 months when the pandemic hit so spent about 3 months not seeing anyone in person and just going out for the occasional walk. I thing wrong with his development at all!

It honestly doesn’t matter what you do with a tiny baby as long as they are interacting with you. Take them places you would like to go. Give them whatever safe household objects you have around to play with as you go about your day. Holding/investigating a sock while you fold laundry is just as good as holding a teddy. Playing with a spoon and people watching with you in a café is similar to visiting a friend. Choosing books with you at the library is a fantastic morning out for a 7month old. Being giving a packet of biscuits to hold while you go round the supermarket is an experience.

I mean, what do you do all day? 15 min reading and a few toys wouldn’t have filled my days.
why don’t you go out every day? Take her to different places (pet shop to look at fishes, baby groups, swimming, library singalong, anything)?

If you're happy and interacting with your baby regularly then I'm sure they'll be absolutely fine. Honestly, try not to worry too much!

You can even go to the pub or cafe and have some food and a glass of wine. Any change of scene is a leaning curve for the baby.
A trip on the train or bus is good fun for them too. They can people watch and look out of the window.

I'd do a good walk every day instead of 3 times a week. Meet some other parents via an app or WhatsApp chat group. Is the Dad on the scene at all. Do his side of the family take any interest?

There is lots of value in good quality 1-2-1 time with a caring loving adult 👍

I think there's an assumption that mums want to meet other mums and socialise. And that if you don't, you must be lonely.

I never did baby classes with mine - it's my idea of hell

I'd say you should be going outside every day, and maybe go swimming once a week for them to gain some water confidence, but other than that, as long as you and baby are happy that's the main thing!

You are being very very very very unreasonable for using the term "sub-optimal"

I enjoyed toddler groups when mine were small. Community ones were only ~£1 and included a hot drink and cake for adults and a snack for wee ones. If that’s not your thing then maybe rhyme time or book bug at your local library? Sessions are free, and as it’s a more focused activity you don’t need to make so much small talk!

What do you do with the baby when you are cleaning, making lunch, shopping, they are there with you aren't they, so they are as involved as they can be at that age? The only thing I could suggest like previous posters is a story or rhyme time at a local library, where you will meet other mothers and your baby will see other babies.