To be tired of friends comedy double act?

[Necrotic]

My lovely friend is very funny on her own, she’s witty and a little sarcastic very much in a Jenifer Saunders type way. She’s not the type to “try” and be funny constantly, she just is … it’s her one liners, her facial expressions etc … she often has me in stitches and she is a good friend.

Anyway a few weeks ago she asked me how I was getting home one night and I said I’d be waiting for a bus. She said “Percy” will give me a lift (her boyfriend) as he was picking her up and they’d be driving past my house on the way home. I was very grateful.

Percy arrives and I get in the car. Immediately the comedy duo begins … sniping at each other, “comical” arguing back and forth … Insults to and throw … it was funny to be fair and I did laugh but it was constant, all the way home (30 minute drive) and by the end of the drive I was definitely fake laughing.

Percy has given me a lift every week since and the comedy act has happened the full drive every week - I’ve always laughed along but in all honesty it’s gotten a bit tiring now, it’s not actually that funny to someone not in the joke … I’ve laughed along to be polite but I’m bored of the act now!

So last night I didn’t laugh. I smiled at the jokes but didn’t laugh. Friend asked me if I was ok and I said I was fine, just knackered but did make an effort to say this with a smile! Percy then started to bring me in on the jokes and started throwing low level insults my way (nothing offensive) - I did laugh at that (the insults was funny) and she was punch him everytime and then it just got worse, comical shouting at each other, punching each other etc … all the while friend keeps looking at me to check if I’m laughing!! She text me late last night to ask if I’m ok again as I seemed unhappy in the car …

if I say I don’t need a lift home now she will know it’s personal but I can’t carry on this fake laughing!! It’s driving me nuts!! AIBU

What happens if you interject with a serious question? I think I'd try that a.couple of times. Their constant comedy act would annoy me too - like they have to be on show all the time!

I'd personally choose a work/health/political conversation over 'small dick hahaha' over and over and over and over again ANY DAY of the week.

My god I wouldn't be able to handle this. It's exhausting listening to people try to get one up on each other. Even worse when they constantly check you are laughing. I would get the bus.

Solution is simple. Don't get a lift. It's up to you how honest you are about your reasons.

They have no obligation to change what is obviously very normal for them. You are under no obligation to put up with it either.

I started out reading the OP and thinking 'gosh, OP sounds a bit joyless'. Then I read the examples and thought 'oh god, no way, that's not 'funny'. Funny is witty and ironic and clever, this is just trading insults like two kids flirting in the playground.'

If you really MUST get a lift, then could you tell them you've had some bad news and just don't feel like laughing right now - see if it calms them down as far as ordinary conversation?

Or get the bus. I'd get the bus.

30 minutes enduring this kind of “banter” would feel like a lifetime, whatever the context.
It also sounds perfomative - OP is there to react/approve. I think I’d be getting the bus myself.

You've become incontinent and don't want to mess up Pervy's backseat. Embarrassing but probably no less painful

Either that or you've suddenly developed car sickness and want to cycle/take the bus.

Could you start going somewhere else afterwards?

”Oh thanks for the offer of a lift but I’m going to Tesco/to meet Sally/to pop into my mum’s/to boil my own head.”

Repeat until the offer stops.

It also sounds like they're trying to show off how great their relationship is to you, and are seeking your approval. My mother was a narcissist, would be downright abusive in private, but in front of others always tried to make out we had a great relationship by making put down 'jokes'. Except they weren't jokes, they were just more abuse, trying to humiliate me in front of others. Could be just that she loves her partner and so wants you to like him too, or there could be something more sinister going on.

Jeeze. Ick.

@myneighbourhell I've only just read that exchange. And would agree.

Interesting the OP didn't lead with that exchange tho...

Yabu - they are doing you a favour - if you don’t like it, get a bus/taxi/drive.
Why continue to get a lift with them?

Get your phone out and play a game, check messages, do a bit of mumsnet, put your headphones in and listen to a pod cast. When they nudge you or ask you to join in the jollity, say “sorry, didn’t hear you, I was on my phone” then when they repeat their banter say “oh right, really funny” in an insincere voice then back to your phone. A couple of weeks of this and they will stop offering you a lift.

Could you put headphones on?

Or keep asking normal questions, when they reply with yet another joke simply say ’Do you two ever just have normal conversations? You’re exhausting!’

That sounds so tiresome! They must be bored of the ‘jokey’ insults and just want some normal conversation? It sounds tedious.

No advice on how to get out if it (other than being honest and saying its too much for yo after a long day etc), but no normal couple can sustain that level of ‘comedy’ for long.

This would drive me bonkers. So never a normal conversation just stupid insults back and forth? I'd tire of that very easily and I like going to comedy shows.

Clever excuse.

Just dismiss their 'jokes' in an eye rolling but pan faced kind of way. Saying at the same time something along lines of 'God here we go again' or 'NEXT !'
Make every single remark a jokey way of saying they are not funny.
If they ask you outright if youre ok again just say along lines of 'Yes apart from wanting jump out the car as your jokes are so bad.
Just stick to this rigidly every single yime but always in a 'bantz' kind of way so they cant accuse you of not joining in or being a misery but you're getting the message across that you don't find it funny.

Oh god, I think you're just going to have to fall into a dead sleep that lasts the duration of the journey. They'll soon shut up if there's no "audience".

Maybe she uses MN - it'll either put a stop to the comedy routine, the friendship, or offering you lifts.
Walk or get a cab

Say that now the evenings are getting lighter you’d like to walk and get some exercise. Get on the bus when they are out of sight.

That's really tiresome. You're in an awkward position and I have no advice. I can sympathise with the polite laughing; that's not your fault and you can't be criticised for it. You've tried to ease off that behaviour to signal your wish to change the tone and they've not got the social nouse. I've got a friend who does a lot of research in a niche area, he wants to talk about it a lot and show his work. I showed a lot of support, but then realised i was regularly subjecting myself to something that i didn't personally enjoy knowing so much about. I had to work it out at the risk of offending him. I think i managed it and the friendship survived, but it's a hard one to navigate.

Same here.

I can understand this being exhausting - I get really tired in social situations and having to act a certain way.

However, isn't it nice that you have such a good friend who is very keen to make you laugh?

I think sometimes naturally funny people become the joker in their gang and see it as their role to be the constant comedian and entertain everyone - it's a lot to live up to i guess. I have a very funny friend too and I remember going out with her one night and being a bit tired and distracted over simething and on the way home she turned to me with a crestfallen look on her face and said "Do you not find me funny anymore?"🤣 Bless her.

Oh good lord, how tedious they sound!
I think I’d have to invent a class I was taking, and desperately need to either skip the rides altogether, or read a book during the trip.

they sound like energy vampires, needing you as an audience.

or, you could just be yourself and be honest, and then when your friend says “are you ok?” Say that the cross talk Punch and Judy act is making you a little tired