To be tired of friends comedy double act?

[Necrotic]

My lovely friend is very funny on her own, she’s witty and a little sarcastic very much in a Jenifer Saunders type way. She’s not the type to “try” and be funny constantly, she just is … it’s her one liners, her facial expressions etc … she often has me in stitches and she is a good friend.

Anyway a few weeks ago she asked me how I was getting home one night and I said I’d be waiting for a bus. She said “Percy” will give me a lift (her boyfriend) as he was picking her up and they’d be driving past my house on the way home. I was very grateful.

Percy arrives and I get in the car. Immediately the comedy duo begins … sniping at each other, “comical” arguing back and forth … Insults to and throw … it was funny to be fair and I did laugh but it was constant, all the way home (30 minute drive) and by the end of the drive I was definitely fake laughing.

Percy has given me a lift every week since and the comedy act has happened the full drive every week - I’ve always laughed along but in all honesty it’s gotten a bit tiring now, it’s not actually that funny to someone not in the joke … I’ve laughed along to be polite but I’m bored of the act now!

So last night I didn’t laugh. I smiled at the jokes but didn’t laugh. Friend asked me if I was ok and I said I was fine, just knackered but did make an effort to say this with a smile! Percy then started to bring me in on the jokes and started throwing low level insults my way (nothing offensive) - I did laugh at that (the insults was funny) and she was punch him everytime and then it just got worse, comical shouting at each other, punching each other etc … all the while friend keeps looking at me to check if I’m laughing!! She text me late last night to ask if I’m ok again as I seemed unhappy in the car …

if I say I don’t need a lift home now she will know it’s personal but I can’t carry on this fake laughing!! It’s driving me nuts!! AIBU

They don't sound like awful people, 😂 Jesus

They do to me- throwing out low level insults at the OP for laughs and then checking constantly to see if she is laughing? I dont find that funny or particularly "nice" behaviour.

Agree 💯

“Give it a rest you two- it’s exhausting keeping up”

I wonder if you got involved, they’d stop.
You: Are you going on holiday soon?
Percy: Yeah we’re going to Mexico.
You: Ooh bet you can’t wait to get your pecs out and strut on the beach!

But then it might be so awkward pthat they stop giving you lifts or being friends with you altogether, so it’s a bit of a risk!

How draining! Next time she asks if you’re ok, then say you’re fine, but just tired! Instead of laughing, learn to perfect the smile. Just be grateful you don’t share a house with them!

Sounds like my idea of hell. I wonder if they do it when they are alone or just when others are around?

That sounds really juvenile and I'd feel uncomfortable having to enthusiastically fake laugh throughout.

I'm guessing if it's 30 mins in a car it's at least an hour's bus journey and at night but the bus does sound a more attractive option. Can you tell her your finishing time has changed or do you work together?

Is this home from work or a night out? Could you make an excuse to be leaving a little later than her so it makes it inconvenient for her to give you a lift?

They sound absolutely insufferable to me. Next time I wouldnt even raise a smile and if she asks whats wrong I'd say "Ive just had a really rough day at work today-really tired" or something similar and see what happens. If they tone it down then at least they have some social skills but if they try to "cheer you up" by ramping up the pathetic dick jokes then you'll know they cannot read the room to save their lives and I'd get the bus from then on.

When she’s on her own her humour is totally different, it was quite a shock when I first saw her like this to be honest … I’ve never known her to make dick/tit jokes before - she’s normally very subtle, witty and just naturally funny without the need for “jokes”

Just tell them the truth, they're not funny :)

Oh god… that sounds utterly cringe worthy.. like a Catherine Tate and Harry enfield piss taking double act :shudder:

Interesting. This makes you wonder if she's doing this for him- never a good sign if someone's behaviour changes completely when they are with their boyfriend- why cant she just be herself? Smacks of insecurity to me.

You got me at your friend checking up on your "laughing status" 🤣🤣🤣. I've been in this situation but with a narc relative where you get verbally abused if you don't join in, laugh when you're expected to and generally have to act the whole time. For hours. Fuck that, arms length job these days with this particular "joker." Is your mate insecure? Worried about pleasing Percy? She might be desperate for you to like Percy as much as she does hence the laughing checks. Sounds knackering, but if you really can't tolerate it, you'll have to say something in a gentle and kind way as she does sound like a lovely friend.

That's not even funny, and I like a dry wit.

Is it a lift from work? I doubt you'd get out of that. If it's a lift from a social thing, I'd skip the night out just to avoid the lift home.

Good luck, whatever you end up doing - especially if it involves climbing thru a loo window at the back of a pub and making a break for freedom.

I'd attempt to do this as well. Have a few things lined up to talk about and get in there first with them. I wonder if her boyfriend is a bit nervous so falls back on the comedy. If it persists you're going to have to make an excuse not to accept the lift.

They don't sound like awful people but they do sound like exhausting people.

Sorry as she sounds nice overall but those examples, if true, are TERRIBLE.

Just say, in advance, that you’re really grateful for the lifts but you’re getting the bus from now on. If they ask why either change the subject or come up with an explanation and stick to it, like you’ve started getting travel
sick in the car, you enjoy getting the bus, it gives you a bit of headspace before you get home OR you’ve been feeling guilty about not speaking to your mum/ sister so you’re going to use that time to catch up with people by phone on a quiet bus.

TBH it sounds to me like she’s a bit insecure and/ or knows it’s all a bit silly so she’s looking for approval, but that doesn’t mean you have to endure this nonsense!

Laugh when you find it funny, don't when you don't, and tell friend you are ok but didn't find it funny. Sounds like she has a lot of her identity wrapped up in the 'funny one.'

Oh dear, I had a work colleague like this and I feel your pain. It's incredibly draining to be around someone who bases their whole personality on being 'the funny one' when they're not actually funny. I had to work in close contact with this guy once for the week, him in the superior role, and felt like I had to sit there with a fake smile plastered on all the time. By the end of the week I couldn't do it any more, it was actually hurting my face, not to mention my soul. I remember at one point looking myself in the mirror in the toilets and saying 'I want to die' (not literally, of course). It really is a kind of torture. You can take the bad jokes, if it weren't for the constantly looking at you desperately for approval and making you feel you have to give them something or else there's an issue, it's draining. It's as bad as a little kid constantly saying 'watch this' whilst they do a half-hearted roly-poly/hop on one leg etc over and over and over again every single time you're in their company, all the time, constantly demanding your attention. They may seem like they're trying to entertain you, but it's selfish to set the framework of all your interactions centred around their 'performance'. It's like they're fairies and if you say 'you're not funny' then they'll cease to exist (if only!) I think you sound like you have a bit of cognitive dissonance because you like this person and think they're nice, but also know deep down that they're not funny at all. Perhaps they are nice, but not really for you in other ways. You probably find it all a bit embarrassing and might drift apart as friends. That's fine, people change, it's normal.

So you take a lift from them every week and you want to control how they talk to each other while you're in the car. YABU.

They're giving you a lift. Your friend is happy. I think you're being a bit mean and ungrateful.

Forced fun is no fun

You sound a bit of a misery to be honest. It might be annoying but it's for 30 mins a week. Maybe start the journey with a boring work/health/political question to steer the conversation to a tone more suited to your mood/personality?

I suggest one of the following:

take the bus

move house

fake your own death

Are these two plonkers actually paying attention to the road during all of this punching and shouting?