To think this is the worst thing about parenting small children?

[Iheartherain]

5 bloody am.

I thought the clocks going forward had reverted us to a more civilised wake-up time of around 6, but no.

Please don’t give advice as a year or more of trying to fix this hasn’t worked 😅 but honestly it is pretty miserable. I can’t have hobbies in an evening or watch ‘adult’ TV or nights out or date nights if we got a babysitter.

I am sick of being tired and yawning, fat because I seek sugar to boost my energy and always have a headache. It’s shit.

Yes, this is true. My first never wakes before 7, usually 8 or 9. And goes to bed at 7.

My second was a 5 am waker for a year but now is mostly between 6 and 7 (still the occasional 5 though). He needs to go to bed later otherwise wake time creeps forward. The other thing that helps us is to feed a large protein meal in the evening such as fish from the chip shop or a tub of cottage cheese.

I do think the stressing about it is almost worse than the reality!

Unless you’ve got very good blackout curtains they will wake up when the sun rises

Do you really think someone who has tried everything in desperation of sleep deprivation hasn’t thought as far as “maybe it gets too light?”

Like, genuinely do you think other people are just stupid?

Your second might not be the same.

I have 6 and only the 5th had that habit and almost broke me.

OP, it’s vile, and it does get better, and I have teenagers and they are absolutely not worse than the relentless grind that is small children, so ignore all those who honestly seem to enjoy nothing more that one-upping others by how stressed they are now and how difficult it is for them. I didn’t drink or go out much for what was the best part of a decade due to small children/pregnancy/trying to get pregnant, but by fuck am I making up for it now!
I also get the sugar/fat/tired thing and I’m pleased to say, after 10 years of being a bit fat, now they’re buggering off doing their own thing more I have also finally found time to sort my diet and exercise and focus more on myself. So that doesn’t have to be forever either.
Hang in there. It DOES get better. 💐

Sounds like it definitely is if it applies to you.

Luckily (don’t shout at me!) DD has never had a regular wake up time earlier than 7am. She only wakes earlier if she’s unwell.

I now have newborn DS who will no doubt ensure those words come back to haunt me.

Even though DD is now eleven and loves a long lie in at the weekends, reading this thread has made me a feel a bit sick. I don’t know how I survived the first two years! The sleep deprivation was horrific. Permanent brain fog and whole body aches. You can deal with anything after a proper night’s sleep. There’s a reason DD is an only child!

I feel ya. My 9 year old has been up with the birds since being tiny and he’s still the same despite trying every single thing to get him to sleep later. We bought him a digital clock and he knew he could only come out of his room at 6. He’s been able to go downstairs in the morning and get a drink/yoghurt and watch the telly until I get up at a more reasonable hour for a few years now.

Aww thank you @Wellnowlookhere

I’m not normally so grumpy but seriously, I don’t go on the teenagers board and announce that at least they don’t have a toddler sitting on their face (with a dirty nappy!) at half six, so what is there to worry about … seriously.

Mind you it was worth it for the Paris Hilton comeback.

Yes, there’s no doubt that it’s a tough time but you’re having a second op so you must know that you can survive it for another chunk of time yet!

At least while you’re on maternity leave there won’t be any pressure to get up and out in time for work.

2 is a hard age as they’re still too young to be understanding what you’re saying about it being too early, understand grow clocks (we had a fab one that they couldn’t fiddle with and adjust) etc.

In our experience sleeping later is a combination of routines, consistency, dark, quiet comfortable temperature bedrooms, well children and a good dose of luck.

ours are teens now and of course the challenges are different, the stakes are higher (driving test passed last week……..) and it’s incomparable to the challenges of looking young, dependent children.

Would you not just put them to bed later? 😂😂😂😂😂

@Muchtoomuchtodo we aren’t lacking any of those things apart from luck. I’m fairness, he only wakes in the night every so often but he just seems to wake early.

And it makes the day SO long.

Mine are 18 and 21 now and I don't think I ever regained the sleep I lost when they were babies/toddlers!
DC 1 was not a sleeper - even as a tiny baby he would be awake for a 4 hour block in the middle of the night. As soon as he could pull himself up in the cot he would wake for the day at 5am. We just brought him into our room so he watched TV whilst we dozed.
He helpfully dropped his last nap around 6 weeks after I got Pg with no. 2.
No 2 never took a bottle so I had night feeds - still 2 hourly at 8 months - until 15 months, still with 5am wakes with the eldest.
He stopped 5am wakes on school days when he started school and became impossible to get out of bed - unless it was the weekend when 5 am remained entirely appropriate - until he got to about 6. At least he was able to go downstairs and find breakfast himself by then.
But yes, sleepless nights with teens are just as bad, if not worse, because you have the added worry of will they get home, what are they up to etc

Right: those of you saying "just make bedtime later", "just use black out curtains" just sleep train them" buzz off. When you've had a none sleeper for over a year, trust me, it's been tried.

Iheart it's gets better. They become more independent, and understand "don't wake me til the first number on the clock is a 6". Then they get to the stage where they can go and watch TV on their own (just make sure this isn't at 4am....).
And then, when they become teens and still wake at 6-something, you come down to freshly cooked pancakes at the weekends!

You obviously haven't tried "everything "
You gave up op :)

That's on you

I couldn't do it

You didn’t have to because your child responded to whatever you did :)

🤣🤣🤣
Short of drugs, we tried everything. Some kids just don't need sleep.

I have 2 so between them I'd say it's 3 times a week, much more in the holidays, obviously DH does his share. The school bus is at 7.01 so my alarm is 5:30 Mon-Fri as well.

If OP is not drinking and going to bed at 9 the 5am starts shouldn't be soooo awful especially now it's light outside. Do you think you are deficient in something OP ? Iron? Vitamin D ?

I am assuming here that they aren't also getting you up at night and you are not pregnant.

She is pregnant.

I feel your pain. One of the measures I took, after giving in to co-sleeping, was to put the mattress on the floor. So that the twin who woke up with the dawn chorus could just shuffle out of bed (no danger of falling) & play with something for ten minutes. That’s all it bought me though, about ten minutes.

I even got a sleep consultant to come out. She said “YesSir that is so extreme” about the mattress. But I was desperate. If someone had told me sleeping in a hammock made of orange net in the garage would buy me more sleep I’d have done it.

I’ll never forget this time of year when they want to be up and at ‘em at about 4am.
Looking at the clock and counting down til 10 am nap.
DT1 still wakes up God awful early but the liberation of not having to get up with them is so sweet.

It does pass.

Bless you...the toddler years are shit imo. I have a teenager...it's pretty shit and they can be utterly vile to me but on the plus side they hide in their rooms a lot and I sleep as much as I want.

Hands down best age is primary school age. Independent enough to give you a bit of space...old enough to reason with yet still young enough to be cute.

Hang in there op

Yep I agree op! It really is the least fun thing! I’m not a morning person at all, was torture getting up. Felt like I was being dragged from the depths of sleep. I also ate so much chocolate to boost my energy!

I know people say it gets better… and it does. Hold onto that!

Even when not pregnant, there is a difference between sleeping 9pm 5 am and 10 pm 6am.

And if your teens are causing you this much worry, maybe it’s your parenting you should look at. It’s unheard of me to make such a bitchy comment but special needs aside if a sixteen year old is genuinely as time consuming and exhausting as a two year old, that’s not right.

And @SparklyBlackKitten trust me, I’ll have tried it. Whatever it is. Unless it’s child abandonment.

Where on earth did you get the impression my teens were causing me an undue amount of worry ? I assure you midnight pick-ups, exams, University drop offs, boyfriends, girlfriends and occasional over indulgence of alcohol are very, very, very standard teen parenting.

Things which are much harder and I thank my lucky stars I haven't had to deal with yet but some of my contempories have are:

Serious mental health problems including self- harm and eating disorders

Significant drug use

Teenage pregnancy and/ or sexual assault
Transgender issues
Bullying
Crime

Do I need to go on ?

I love babies and small children and for me spending a day with a 2 year old is pure pleasure, before I was a Mum, when I had a 2 year old and now. It just isn't hard work to me, even if they day starts early.

I think people are just trying to help by suggesting what has worked for them. Nothing is obvious when you’re sleep deprived. Don’t be so aggressive. The blackout stuff wasn’t obvious to me but did work so glad someone (my sister) suggested the obvious to me.

@Neurodiversitydoctor you came on the thread to inform me teens are more exhausting. I stand by the fact that if someone is genuinely more drained and frazzled from teens than toddlers then they need to look at their parenting.