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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is the worst thing about parenting small children?

529 replies

Iheartherain · 05/05/2023 05:28

5 bloody am.

I thought the clocks going forward had reverted us to a more civilised wake-up time of around 6, but no.

Please don’t give advice as a year or more of trying to fix this hasn’t worked 😅 but honestly it is pretty miserable. I can’t have hobbies in an evening or watch ‘adult’ TV or nights out or date nights if we got a babysitter.

I am sick of being tired and yawning, fat because I seek sugar to boost my energy and always have a headache. It’s shit.

OP posts:
Bunnycat101 · 05/05/2023 07:49

Sleep deprivation is awful. Sleep deprivation plus sickness is the worst thing I think. I had a particularly awful winters in 2020 and 21 where I don’t think I actually slept . It does get better- I think people potentially forget how hard the early years can be. Mine are now 4 and 6. The 4yo is not the best sleeper so I have days that remind me of the sleep deprivation but it isn’t every day. Last weekend they both woke up after us after a full night of uninterrupted sleep. It was lovely ! So take that as some hope that eventually you won’t feel as tired.

Original poster
Iheartherain · 05/05/2023 07:49

I haven’t had a fucking drink since early 2022. When I got married. And was still up at 5 fucking am!

I am definitely going to post this rant on every threads that appears on the teenagers board. Only fair, right? How selfish and self centred are some of you, at all?

I go to bed before 9 every day, it’s bloody miserable. I have no life.

OP posts:
yogacushions · 05/05/2023 07:50

Yes it is the worst. And no, for some kids it doesn’t change, they just need you less in the mornings.

mine are teens and have never been late for school !

the only thing that helped was going to bed when they did and giving up on an ‘evening’. We moved to their time zone. Downstairs was set up so they could play together without us as soon as possible.

But I honestly don’t remember those years as so sleep deprived. I took a lot of photos instead.

awful awful awful !!!

BanditsOnTheHorizon · 05/05/2023 07:54

It is miserable op. I tried everything with my dd, but her internal clock was set at 5.30! She's a teenager now and finally she sleeps in until 8am on a weekend. One positive is that getting her up for school has never been a struggle.

BiscuitLover3678 · 05/05/2023 07:56

Me too! And I’m sick of people trying to fix it for me because their kid has always slept through or sleep training worked, whatever.

I try and see it as a very good excuse to eat chocolate, enjoy their cuddles and know that I can be all attractive and on my own when they’re older.

BiscuitLover3678 · 05/05/2023 07:57

How old is yours op? Hang in there.

Original poster
Iheartherain · 05/05/2023 08:00

2, but the second is due next month so I’ve got at least another three sodding years of it.

OP posts:
Cuppaand2biscuits · 05/05/2023 08:01

It's awful, one of mine did it for a few years and nothing I tried at all could alter it. I've got no idea how I coped. Then it stopped as suddenly as it started and they started to sleep until 7am and now sleeps brilliantly.

Ihaveshitfriends · 05/05/2023 08:03

Fully agree with you that it’s annoying when people say teens are harder. I have friends with teens and they’re not complaining about them, in fact one is going to Eurovision with her son and my other friend is off to Paris on a whim with her son this weekend.
That 4.30-5 am wake up call is destroying, all you can think about is how tired you are.

ImAvingOops · 05/05/2023 08:04

You might get a brilliant sleeper next time. It doesn't automatically follow that because you have one child who wakes very early, that your second child will also.

Tinybrother · 05/05/2023 08:05

I’m one of five. My mum says the teen years were terrifying with some of us but the thing that made it easier to cope with was the fact that they weren’t sleep deprived!

CatchHimDerry · 05/05/2023 08:06

It’s the D&V for me too

Like a PP I’m still horrified after the last two rounds, it affects me so much worse than DH I get really unwell. As well as poor little one suffering and being on a warning at work.

I have developed health anxiety around it now and considering seeking help!

I am loath to send him to nursery any more but I have no choice

Im genuinely put off having a second with it all, I’d take the lack of sleep any day! And he is a poor sleeper, bugger had me up all night with the random screams and boob hunting

Solidarity fellow parents

Original poster
Iheartherain · 05/05/2023 08:07

I’m not even sure how this has become teens vs toddlers.

I am not normally this grumpy, but the culmination of early starts is very, very wearing and it’s easy to lose perspective. Like now it’s only just 8 and I’ve done three hours.

OP posts:
Original poster
Iheartherain · 05/05/2023 08:08

We seem to have been relatively lucky. Of course mine has sometimes been unwell but it has been short lived <touch wood>

OP posts:
Saucepot1985 · 05/05/2023 08:08

takealettermsjones · 05/05/2023 05:43

The worst thing is the random screaming in the night. And then they go peacefully back to sleep and have no recollection of it in the morning, whereas you're awake from 4am with one eye twitching.

Omg this!!

Oldermum84 · 05/05/2023 08:12

Right there with you. And I'm pregnant. And he was up 3x in the night as well. Got a gro clock and black out blinds on order. It's been 3 weeks and hoping to buggery this isn't a forever thing!

10storeylovesong · 05/05/2023 08:14

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at poster's request

Rainallnight · 05/05/2023 08:15

casingchars · 05/05/2023 06:01

My 6yo tiptoes down the stairs so he doesn't wake me, bless him. Unfortunately his tiptoeing resembles the shuffling of a drunken elephant.

I am so jealous. My 6 yo roars ‘MAMAAAAA’ from her bed by way of morning greeting.

OP, I feel your pain. I’m not far out of those days and I remember everything you describe. My strong association with that time is Show Me Show Me on Cebeebies. It’s on a the crack of dawn and I always knew it was a shit morning if we were watching it. It does get better.

Original poster
Iheartherain · 05/05/2023 08:15

@Oldermum84 (ha, I’m older than you!) I think some children do seem to go through a phase. Here, I’ve honestly tried every suggestion known to womankind re earlier and later bedtimes, Gro clocks, blackout curtains, it is worth a try but I have found sometimes the more I stress about it the worse it is. I think the reason I feel like crying now is because I did have a few weeks of 6am wakeups, but now it’s gone back. Just in time for the new baby, wonderful! Dreading the autumn and winter.

OP posts:
lottie2888 · 05/05/2023 08:22

It does get better. It just seems like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Pre kids I did a job where I worked nights so I thought ‘ this is going to be a walk in the park ‘ nothing prepares you for the exhaustion.
sometimes I wonder if people who tell you they love having little children are lying. I certainly didn’t enjoy it. I look back at instances and thought that was nice but day to day the grind never ends.

In ten years when yours won’t get out of bed but you are no longer able to sleep in then just make sure to hoover outside their room every Sunday morning at 6am.

@Saniflo thats hilarious!!!!!! Inspired even!

LeaveItJim · 05/05/2023 08:27

Tiredness is so hard. I had 2 that didn’t sleep well. No answers, sorry . Nothing made them sleep better until they just started doing it.

I haven’t found teens hard at all for what it’s worth. Mine are lovely, good company, funny, responsible...and they sleep a lot. 🤣

Hope the sleep improves and your next baby sleeps well.

SnackSizeRaisin · 05/05/2023 08:27

FancyCurtains · 05/05/2023 06:57

Unless you’ve got very good blackout curtains they will wake up when the sun rises. At this time of year it’s 5am. Get a good blackout blind and blackout lined curtains on top.

Haha. If that's the case why do they wake at 5 in winter when it's still dark for another 3 hours??

awmum2b · 05/05/2023 08:27

I have a near 5yo who's an early riser, she has recently started sleeping until 5:30-6am...however as the household has now been trained that 5am is wake up time the cat is pretty insistent that we will still be getting up at this time, so i've now basically realised that as there is no arguing with a cat (I did try earplugs) that this is my life now! Photo of one of the offenders!

Why will none of the creatures in my house allow me a lie in 😭

To think this is the worst thing about parenting small children?
Dibbydoos · 05/05/2023 08:31

Do you give them a snack - eg cheese on toast/toast and a warm drink - about an hour before bed? It worked with my two. I don't think (other than my sons nightmares about a blue alien) either of ours got up before 7am even on Christmas Day.

Casdentwo · 05/05/2023 08:32

Oh this brings back "memories " 🤣mine never slept a single night through no matter how active I made daytimes. Parks .soft play. No naps everything!!!
Then day one at school bloody slept all night getting up at a lovely 7am still not forgotten or forgiven 😅🤣😂