To think this is the worst thing about parenting small children?

[Iheartherain]

5 bloody am.

I thought the clocks going forward had reverted us to a more civilised wake-up time of around 6, but no.

Please don’t give advice as a year or more of trying to fix this hasn’t worked 😅 but honestly it is pretty miserable. I can’t have hobbies in an evening or watch ‘adult’ TV or nights out or date nights if we got a babysitter.

I am sick of being tired and yawning, fat because I seek sugar to boost my energy and always have a headache. It’s shit.

People who advocate assaulting kids are universally stupid. Film at 11.

Gastro before they learn to read the signals and vomit into a bucket or toilet has to be the worst. It goes fucking everywhere and you just know the other kid is getting it next.

Ha ha I on the other hand think if DS2 had arrived first we wouldn’t have had a second child. We were sleep deprived for over two years.

First child slept through at 14 weeks 7-7 and has done since.

I was a little smug for a while there.

Hitting a child to make them not wake you up is absolutely horrible and this is one of the worst things I have ever read on here.

Going back to the original question, yes it is absolutely awful. It will end. I know it feels like it won't but it will. Hold on. The horse's sister made me really laugh because this was absolutely my life when DD was small. Flashbacks to her in the corner of my bedroom pretending to be in a lift and making me watch every second of her detailed mime representation with sound effects. It is soul-destroying and terrible. You grind on day after day and it seems like it will never get better but it honestly does. Hang in there.

I'm now the parent of a teen and it's not worse but it is very difficult in other ways. The unrelenting grind of friend/relationship issues, GCSEs, social media awfulness, mental health problems etc etc is really REALLY hard. And mine doesn't backchat or behave badly or go out partying until 6am. She's a lovely girl (I'm sure your baby is lovely too, really, apart from the silly o'clock business).

I do admit, sometimes I long for the days when I could make it all better (and have to get up at silly o'clock) because honestly right now I can't always (sometimes it's just not fixable) and it's really tough. Sometimes just being ridiculously tired would be a relief. That's just a thing. Having to deal with the complexities of teenage life now is much more mentally challenging than dealing with a child who won't sleep when you want them to. But it's not worse, there are things that are better and every stage of life has its upsides as well as downsides. Being sleep deprived is both physically and mentally challenging but personally I have found the mental challenges associated with teenage life harder in a number of ways (not partying just the complexity of all the problems I have to help her solve). This isn't necessarily the same for everyone, just like some people can tell their kids to go back to sleep and they actually do.

We have survived the baby stage and the toddler stage and we will survive the current teenage awfulness too. You will do the same.

I think the sweet spot is around age 9 based on my experience so far! But I'm waiting to find out what it's like being the parent of an adult and I think that might be pretty good too.

Yes, OP, hitting a child is wrong, but a far cry from a smack on the butt. You know, I went back and re-read your posts because I wrongfully assumed in addition to the waking and early mornings, he might be pretty wound-up during the day since you imply you have no time to rest. You said he naps. Why can't you at the same time? Maybe curl up with him for awhile even at night. You might find that's all it would take for him to be happy, relaxed, unafraid or whatever it is that wakes him downstairs alone. I don't know what's downstairs where he sleeps, but so far, you've been lucky that when he wakes, he comes to you instead of getting into something else. At 2 yo, he could even fall down the stairs.

That said, you do sound like you're trying to keep a little humor in all of this, but you need rest, especially being pregnant. Isn't there anyone you could ask to take him for 2 or 3 hours 2 or 3 times a week so you could sleep?

As far as those bringing up teenagers, ignore them. So many things will happen to form your child before those years ever get here. All anyone can do is hope that some of the good things they taught has sunk in. But it starts when they're little.

Ignore me too if you wish.

A 'smack on the butt' is hitting a child.

I didn't say to make him sleep. I hugged them for that. The safe assumption is that if OP is so tired, he is obviously on the go and, being 2, into anything during the day which means she is constantly on alert. 2 YOs need to hear NO even though they sometimes ignore it. And that's where an occasional swat on the butt can be beneficial.

So assault him because he can’t sleep and she’s tired… makes no more sense.

thankfully fear and assault aren’t standard parenting techniques.

You’d have got on well with my father.

I would love to swap my child for yours would you prefer you have a non sleeping ADHD disabled child, at least your torture will end some day!

Congratulations on being a terrible parent.

See response to YetMoreNewBeginnings. All I can tell you, is I raised great, loving, successful kids, and I wish you luck with whatever way you choose.

The only way I coped was to slee

Woops -
The only way I coped was to sleep same time as the child.

I would go back there in a flash , getting less sleep now with a 19 year old who’s in a horrible place mental health issues etc
post us finding out her father was a cheat fraudster and con man
I would swap this kinda of sleeplessness for playing at 5.00 am in a heartbeat
try to enjoy it
seriously you will look back fondly

Wow, this thread has taken a frankly bizarre turn. Smacking a child for waking at 5am, we really are returning to the Edwardian era......

CBeebies saved my sanity back in the day.

It can carry on they just become self-sufficient. My 15 year old gets up between 5.30 and 6am used to be 4.30am when he was 2/3. So has improved. I got to see so many sun rises on early dog walks 😅

Hitting and then hugging? Let's just chuck in some confusing messages for some emotional abuse as well, shall we. You know that's what domestic abusers do?

I’m sending you a ton of sympathy. Ignore the nonsense. Mine are 8 years apart and much older now, the early mornings and broken sleep nearly killed me. Waking at 4-5am then them falling asleep as I was getting ready for work was hell and I used to be exhausted all the time. I have only picked my eldest up a couple of times as I was a lone parent and littlest was in bed. Anyone who tells you teens are harder has forgotten how it feels being woken in the dark by having your face licked and someone small yelling cockadoodledo at you. It is rubbish and genuinely depressing to have this daily. Hang in there- I promise it gets far easier 💐

I stand by everything I said, and my children were the proof that, apparently, how I raised them worked. If you and a couple of others had accurately read what I wrote, you would see that nowhere in there did I mention whacking a butt for waking early. There's a whole day that follows that waking, and that's the bigger dilemma poor OP has to deal with. At least I was trying to help her through a difficult time rather than, like you if I recall correctly, jumping to issues with the teenage years.

Oh, by the way, my teenagers were pretty terrific, too, who enjoyed spending time with us, as did their friends. How is that possible when I spanked a butt when he or she was a small child? Amazing!

The ‘amusing’ thing about this space is how many people complain about having children, tiredness, lack of money, social life etc.

I mean … what did you think would happen?
your child needs you for 18 years and during that time, unless you can afford live in help or some other help… your life also stops.
this is the reality of parenting.
they get up early, they cry, they get sick, they are naughty etc.
sounds like you need to move bedtime later…

Does your partner not do some of the early mornings? We take it in turns. We need to leave the house at 8.30 during the week, but one of us will have slept until 7.30, and then at the weekend we each have a lie in.

@Doggate1 yes and no.

I did actually expect I’d be up early, but naively thought ‘early’ would be around 6.

I also (if I am being frank here) massively underestimated how much work little children are. One of the things I’ve come to realise is how unreliable my own recollections of childhood are. In my memory, I entertained myself for long periods of time with little or no input from my parents, but of course I don’t remember being the age my DS is now!

I thought I’d be good at doing the sort of Pinterest toddler activities and it turns out I am RUBBISH. I have no interest in them and neither does ds. I thought we’d do baking (nope, holds his attention for about sixty seconds before he wanders off leaving me in a kitchen filled with carnage) crafts (hahahahahahahahahaha) and I’d share my love of the countryside (kind of … but it’s probably a few years off really appreciating different names of flowers and birds and so on. Although he does know pigeons and seagulls which is a start, I suppose!)

None of that means I hate parenting or anything, hence I’m having another, but the reality and ‘what I thought would happen’ definitely don’t match!

On the plus side, we don’t have much screen time - that’s at least partly down to DS, he just isn’t massively into TV and that’s good in a way as it forces me to do things with him that don’t rely on screens. We do lots together, swimming, parks, farms, activity centres, toddler groups, we read lots and are starting to read books with a vague sort of plot which is great.

All in all I probably am better with slightly older kids, which isn’t that I don’t absolutely dote on DS, just it’s a challenging age and throwing pregnancy into the mix makes it more so!

Anyway, we had a 630 wake up today so maybe the 5ams were a one off … we can hope, right!?

Having RTFT, I just want to send you a massive hug. It's utterly soul destroying to wake that early day after day with seemingly no end in sight.

Ours are older now, but 2 of our 3 were the same. DH regularly says he had days he couldn't remember the drive to work.

Ignore the posters saying you will look back fondly. I definitely don't and you couldn't PAY me to go back there. I look back with great fondness on them being small, sweet etc, but I've blanked the sleepless mornings, constant exhaustion from my mind!!

And as for comparisons with teens. That's crap too. Every stage of parenting has challenges, but my god they are easier to handle if you can sleep. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy.