To think this is the worst thing about parenting small children?

[Iheartherain]

5 bloody am.

I thought the clocks going forward had reverted us to a more civilised wake-up time of around 6, but no.

Please don’t give advice as a year or more of trying to fix this hasn’t worked 😅 but honestly it is pretty miserable. I can’t have hobbies in an evening or watch ‘adult’ TV or nights out or date nights if we got a babysitter.

I am sick of being tired and yawning, fat because I seek sugar to boost my energy and always have a headache. It’s shit.

She is also heavily pregnant I think this is relevant.

My 4 year old woke up at 4.35 this morning to come into our bed. It’s 50:50 whether I can be bothered to put her back into her own bed but I tried last night. She starting running around like a complete maniac and then I gave up, let her in and we all went back to sleep. Those are the sorts of disruptions I get rather than her wanting to be up for the day so could be worse. I know I need to be stricter about returning her to her bed but sometimes the easier solution is to try and get back to sleep asap and take the path of least resistance.

He woke a few times during the night and then he woke at 5.15 when we all did.

Sorry I missed where the op said she was in bed at 9. I don't see the difference between an alarm going off at 5 and your child waking you. Anyway, I found it OK but doesn't mean everyone else will. I know my husband struggled desperately with the 5 am start but I found it fine if I'd gone to bed early. However, I was heavily pregnant with my middle child towards the end of my time there and had awful insomnia which definitely made the 5 am starts much more difficult. And if someone says it's a problem for them, it's a problem. My third baby is a dreadful sleeper and I've felt like running away in the middle of the night many, many times. Wishing you all the best op.

It's really rough OP. I remember the feeling well and it's just hideous.
My eldest was an early riser, 5am we'd try to get him back to sleep (rarely worked but we felt we had to try), 5:30 we accepted as morning. He did eventually learn to stay in his room until 6:30 ( used a clock in his room) but that wasn't until he was 4, tried gro clocks, black out blinds etc. Telling him to go back to sleep didn't make a difference (who are these 2 and 3 year old who just do as they're told?). He was a terrible sleeper for his first year (up every 90 minutes) I was a wreck and ended up reaching for sugar to keep me going so I gained weight and felt even more sluggish and then he was up with the larks.
Youngest (almost 4) is a pain for sleep. Goes to bed ok at 8/8:30 but by midnight is in our bed. Wakes up crying, runs across the landing into out room and climbs in. We tried for weeks to put him back to his own bed, with the hysterical screaming, clawing at the door frame that ensued, and would stay with him until he fell asleep as he wouldn't remain in his bed if awake. Still would be back in our bed within the hour. He was climbing out of his cot by 18 months, we even installed an extra tall stair gate on his door but he was climbing over that before his second birthday. It's annoying, but at least in our bed he sleeps (in a very wriggly fashion) until 6 and then will watch something on iplayer whilst we shower and get ready for the day. First time parent me would have been so judgemental - eldest never slept in our bed and we never resorted to using tablets - with youngest we've definitely learnt humility, all the tools, routines and tricks that worked eventually with the first two have completely failed with littlest.
Sleep deprivation is an absolute killer, I was running on empty for the first 4 years and honestly don't think I've ever fully recovered from it. Good luck with your new addition OP, fingers crossed they are a better sleeper (my second was a night owl, up til 10/11pm and asleep til 8am - completely different).

"Treat it as a night wake" is the advice I am most sick of hearing. I have forever treated 5am like a night wake up, treated it as if it was 1 or 2am etc. The only difference is he doesn't go back to sleep at 5am like he does at 1 or 2am. We still don't get up. I've never got up and started the day eg curtains open/lights on/TV on etc at any 5am wake in his life. He still wakes up at 5am. We stay in the dark, in his cot/room with attempts to settle him back off as we would a night wake, but it doesn't work at 5am. He doesn't go back to sleep. Every day.

This is the thing. DS slept 7 til 5.20 am last night. 10 hours is enough. If he wakes at 2am, he's only had 7 and will eventually drop off again.

Yeah 5 am is definitely the worst when it's every.single.day.

Omg I 100% agree and they offer their mates lifts home

Same. 2 year old that hasn’t slept since they were 6 months old. Currently sat screaming in a rage on the carpet because….well who knows.

Not sure when the evenings come back, or the simple pleasures of a toilet break alone, a walk to the kitchen without someone grabbing your ankle…we’ll see. Hopefully before 3!?

@Iheartherain as the mother of a teenager, a school starter and pregnant, the worst one for sleeping is the teenager! Stays up until me or DP go to bed, never get ANY time without said teenager unless at school, can't unwind because said teenager won't listen and go to bed and If they do listen they don't sleep, intimacy with my DP can only take part whilst kids are at school (I can tell you the exact day and time I got pregnant this time 😂)
School starter goes to bed at 7pm latest and sleeps until 6am so loads better than the teen in terms of sleeping 😂

Just wait till they start secondary school and you CAN'T get them to get up!!

Both mine tried the 5am thing - i started treating it like I would as if it were 3am and just putting them back. They realised I’m not going to play until 7am.

can’t do it with babies obvs, but mine tried it on at about 3yo, Grow clock helped too from this age

Some little ones their internal alarm clock is a pain in the bum; having a child that gets up at silly o’clock is a darn nightmare; but there are a few things I was told to try & it did work.
A good blackout bling & black out curtains to stop the light waking them.
A really strict nighttime routine; tea bath time story bed - absolutely no T.V once teas on the table the tv goes off & doesn’t go back on until the children are in bed.
No sweets during the week only weekend mornings. Sugar rush affects sleep
Be patient it takes time
Be strict with breakfast time - don’t give breakfast as soon as they get up; it’s a reward for getting up early if they’re up at 4 am & eating at 4.30 am they will want to eat at that time everyday so set breakfast time at say - 8 am if they realise they’re not getting fed they will most likely sleep longer (this is the biggest one that worked with my son once his appetite clock changed he slept until 7.30 everyday without fail)
reward the children if they play nicely in their rooms until mummy says it’s time to get up don’t give a good reward do messy play or painting with them something fun you can do with them x
Hopefully some of these points will help but try the breakfast time it made a huge difference x

I think I’ve concluded that parenting teens makes you incredibly self centred.

I’m with you. Had a meltdown today as I have 9 month old twins and I’m just so fed up. Fed up of early mornings, someone always needing me, my house being gross, I get no time to do anything fun. Not even sure I can have fun anymore! It’s tough

You have no idea...with teens you don't even get to sleep until they come in at 6am, 30min sleep if you're lucky then the alarm goes off. Oh and the hormones and the "you don't understand " yeah right because I was never young. Lol, if they told us what the next 20 years were going to be like when we were ttc we would never go there.

Two things about small children that's worse than early risers ...

Thread worms and Nits.

That's not every single night though is it?

I feel for you with twins. I couldn't imagine 2 x my 2.5yo, he's so demanding all by himself!

Babies and toddlers are so easy in hindsight. Teens and older far worse.

It really is.

This is exactly the stage at at with 2 DCs, I've never been a morning person but it's genuinely the only way I get any peace 😅

God I know.

Today, I bet your teen woke at just gone 6 yelling and you went to him. You then had to change his nappy and get him a drink. Then get his breakfast, then clean up the carnage he made from Rice Krispies. Then you went out for lunch and had to constantly get up and down to follow him to the soft play bit of the restaurant. Then you went to a soft play centre where you had to climb up and down equipment for two hours, then the park where you pushed him on swings and round the roundabout.

You poor thing I’m sure whatever your teen had you doing, you’re exhausted. Absolutely shattered.