Stepdaughter eating too much fruit

[Katey83]

My dsd, 7, moved in with us full
time back in January. Our situation is that I am higher earner and breadwinner on Mat leave with 5 month old baby, husband does some part time work that doesn’t bring in much (he runs our family vehicle and contributes towards household costs such as shopping etc). Dsd’s mother does not contribute towards her expenses while she is living here (indefinitely for now).

At the moment, we are on a tight budget due to my mat leave - and one thing driving me crazy is dsd eating all our fruit. We will buy a weekly shop with 2 bunches bananas, few punnets of berries, peaches, melon, grapes, tangerines etc and she will eat her way through the lot in two days. For example, yesterday she ate a punnet and a half of raspberries, three peaches, four tangerines, some grapes, a slice of melon and two bananas. This is on a school day (so she eats this at breakfast and in the evening). She is then obviously reluctant to finish a proper evening meal or try anything she dislikes. She also has had a couple of accidents with loose stools (imo this is from bingeing on fruit). She takes from the fridge without asking and leaves nothing for DH and I.

I’ve spoken to my dh about this and he says she is a growing child and at least fruit is good for her - fair enough I buy fruit partly for her to eat, but the amount seems greedy to me, and beyond what is necessary for a healthy child. I think reasonable is a small
bowl of berries and grapes along with a tangerine and banana after school as a snack and then one piece for dessert. She can also have melon and banana for breakfast along with cereal and a yoghurt. I want her to learn that food costs money, we don’t have a bottomless pit of it and you don’t just gorge on whatever you want because you are bored/tired/didn’t eat your dinner, you ration portions in a family so everyone gets a fair share, and sometimes eat less tasty things to maintain a healthy diet.

We provide substantial breakfast, lunch and dinner portions, and I try to accommodate her tastes (though she can’t just have fish fingers and strawberries as a diet, which would be her preference).When she first came to us she was also gorging like this on sweets - that’s been easier to nip in bud as dh can see how unhealthy it is. I want to handle this in a compassionate way, would I be unreasonable to stop buying fruit until dh agrees to a sensible ration for dsd?

Totally agree. And they have to be taught sharing and healthy eating habits.

Not allowed to gorge on fruit until they're ill. It's neglectful.

Both my ds do this and it drives me mad...but I tell them to snack on fruit so 🤷🏼.

I’m vegetarian and only eat fresh food but I couldn’t eat that much fruit in two days. Buy less choice ( apples and pears only for example) buy frozen fruit for smoothies. Give her a lunch box and she can choose 2 or 3 portions of fruit for the day.

Strange thing to be annoyed over, I can understand fruit is expensive but don’t contribute to her having an unhealthy relationship with foods! Could you buy less fruit and buy carrots/cucumber etc instead and chop into sticks to leave in the fridge for snacks? Much cheaper than fruit but still healthy snacks

You’re saying she will get through the lot. Then clearly that’s because you’re letting her? My almost 7 year old wouldn’t just help herself, so why aren’t you giving her more structure to her eating.
Your post sounds like you resent her being there to be honest, she’s probably picking up on that and the only comfort she’s getting in from food.

She's only a small child so it's not her fault. As her parents/step parents you need to make sure she eats a healthily and has a balanced diet.

If she is binge eating fruit to the point where she has accidents you need to make sure she doesn't have so much access to it, same as you would if she was binging sweets or crisps. It's not healthy to eat that much fruit.

Combine fruit with other thing, e.g. on top of porridge.

Also you really need to get her checked out and see a doctor. This is not normal and could be pointing towards some health issues.

Far too much fruit - not the wonder she is having toilet accidents!As well as the expense.

As others have suggested:
a) try carrot sticks - there is a small amount of sugar in them, but they are healthier and are cheap (not too much of these either though)

b) cheaper fruit eg apples - take longer to eat and are less tempting. Soft fruit is particularly delicious as well as costly, and doesn't "fill you up" the way fruit such as apples does. The variety of fruit is also too tempting for her - keep it healthy but boring. We all of us eat less if our diet is unvaried.

I don't know whether she is comfort eating or just greedy, but it isn't good for her to be consuming this quantity of anything. Discouraging her by limiting variety would be better than rationing though, I think.

Buy apples , bananas and pears. I wouldn’t be happy with this either. She is being greedy.

My dd 7 eats this amount of fruit daily too, and I honestly keep buying more because its better than them eating junk food constantly and if she can't finish her dinner because she's ate fruit, I really don't mind. Maybe set out an amount that she can have a day in her own bowl and encourage her to make it last her the day? But I definetly wouldn't mind this, you dh is right, at least its healthy choices and not sweets and crisps

Is she eating through boredom? Can you sign her up for Brownies it’s low cost and would keep her active.
It’s not good for your tummy to eat that much fruit. I’d stop buying so much on one go.

She could be diabetic ?

🤦🏻‍♀️

I have not followed this thread, but posted earlier.

This is my experience. Anyone in this situation I say do not take away any of DSD's control. Work with her and be with her together. Let her retain some control and allow her choices. If you wish to take substantive control, you will unleash a monster. Avoid anorexia at all costs. The years 7-14 are the danger zone. Yes, as young as seven. Food is the last control of any human, don't go that far.

I wouldn’t allow my (own) kids to do that. Far too much fruit, sugars etc. Likely is the cause of her loose stools. Have you tried asking her if she wants a snack after school? My kids definitely come in from school starving for a snack- I’ll give them Greek yogurt with sliced banana, or a toasted pancake, a sausage roll, just plain toast or fruit. They’re then fine until dinner at 5ish, then cereal for supper before bed. Try getting ahead of it by giving filling her up with more protein.
Generally my kids need a snack around mid-morning then mid-afternoon, if they’re hungry at other times they can have something else- but usually only the older boy who is doing lots of sport would be eating additional to those times. Set a boundary around what she can eat and when- she should then eat her meals better (obviously without allowing her to get too hungry that she’s over-emotional!)

Would you honestly let your 7 year old child eat this much fruit every day?!

What's rediculous? Most people get a weekly shop for the week ahead don't they?

That's dreadful for her teeth.

Instead of telling your stepdaughter to stop eating so much fruit, going back to the sugar content comments why don't you or your husband get her checked to see if she has diabetes??

Not as bad as any potential step parent that might have to deal with somebody this immature.

Just seen this story on Mirror News OP. I don't know why it popped up on my feed but just wanted to let you know Xx

Are children never greedy, then?