I am DONE with pregnancy

[elm26]

I'm almost 37 weeks after 13 miscarriages and so grateful but today I feel like I'm losing my mind.

I had Hyperemesis from 6-33 weeks as soon as the sickness eased to only once a day, I got covid and ended up in hospital on oxygen, I got rid of that and felt great for about 5 days before pelvic girdle pain kicked in. I've been grinning and baring it but today I've finally cracked.

I'm exhausted, I'm awake from 1-6 every night, I'm in agony, my DH is working 7 day weeks at the moment so I'm quite lonely at the minute.

I've cried all day, I've really had enough.

I've tried talking to friends or female relatives about how I feel but if I hear "you think you're tired now wait until the baby is born" or "you'll forget about it and have number 2 within a couple years" once more I actually think I may commit murder.

I told my DH when he called me earlier that he can forget about ever having another one and he kind of half laughed so I put the phone down on him 🤦🏻‍♀️

I've tried to keep my head above water the whole way through, the first 16 weeks were plagued with worry I'd miscarry and sickness, second trimester I was more sick than ever and lost 2 stone and now the third trimester is so painful I don't know what to do with myself.

I'm really worried that by the time I go into labour I will be an absolute exhausted wreck and not actually make it through it. I have no strength left. I can't even pick up my dogs pop anymore because I can't bend so going for a slow walk and getting out in the fresh air isn't an option. (DH walks him when he's home instead now).

Please somebody tell me there is an end in sight because I just feel absolutely emotionally and physically done today.

Thank you @Tofuislovely I'm so happy to hear these positive stories of feeling better after labour! It's perked me up x

My first pregnancy was horrendous, nothing like you have described but it was just a physical burden, I was sick, in pain and uncomfortable throughout. It was such a relief when he arrived (thank god he was early and not late) and I felt soo much better when he was out. Newborn phase was a breeze in comparison, so don’t listen to those telling you it only gets easier.

My second successful pregnancy was totally different and much easier. Although I was anxious as I had an ectopic inbetween.

I don’t ever, ever want to be pregnant again. I have definitely not forgotten. Although youngest is only 2.

*sorry don’t listen to those saying it gets harder!

Lots of sympathy for you, I was so exhausted in my second pregnancy I will never ever do it again. But, as I know many people have said, it’s totally worth it when your little one finally arrives. Exhausting, frustrating, terrifying, but amazing and wonderful to finally to get to know your baby and see them grow into a lovely little person. If you’re 37 weeks now and really struggling, speak to your midwife about whether they can bring your induction forward to 39 weeks? Or at least offer a sweep at 39 weeks and see if that does the trick. I’m a midwife and I’ve looked after women being induced at that gestation with much less complicated histories than yours, so worth exploring if you want to. Good luck, and just remember you’re on the home stretch now, she’ll be here soon xxx

@elm26

I tried everything to get him to move but he just wasn't having it.
It was hard, used gas and air but i was slow to progress so ended up with an epidural.
18 hr active labour, ds was born naturally,
I think the transition stage was the worst I went a bit mad 😅that tea and toast was heavenly though.

The pelvic pain is intense!

I got pelvic pain with my twins from about 16 weeks right up until I delivered them at 36 weeks.
I found sleeping on my side was better for it but with a a few pillows supporting my bump. My maternity pillow didn't do much by itself!

I didn't have any of the pelvic pain with my eldest DS until about 4 days before labour.

People can make some silly comments!

I had vaginal births with all my 3 and pelvic pain left especially with the twins straight after birth pretty much. I was up and showering 2 hours after and remember not having the pelvic pain 🤣.

Oh god, the pelvic pain was terrible

Can you go swimming? I really enjoyed that in the final days. It felt good.

I had a mental countdown for the last couple weeks.

I had a very similar experience with DD in terms of pregnancy. Honestly, I could do the newborn stage and the labour again but pregnancy was awful! I just didn’t feel like myself at all. It was a lot better once DD was here. Hopefully you have a supportive DH who’ll be helping you out once baby is here too.

I've yet to see the glowy pregnant woman in my family. I feel for you all 3 of my pregnancies were horrendous right thru I had severe sickness and barely left the house.Last pregnancy was twins and I cant explain the joint pain but labour was a breeze compared to it. Every single time pretty much the minute birth was over I felt better and better and I found having the babies was a breeze just the pregnancies were hell.

Pregnancy after loss is hideous*
Hypermesis is hideous
PGP is hideous
The third trimester is hideous

*let alone after 13 miscarriages you are a fucking SUPERHERO.

Anyone who tries to say any of those things aren't hideous should shut their traps. You moan as much as you like @elm26 and do whatever you can to get through the next few weeks.

I used to describe PGP as feeling like a Barbie doll who has been kicked up the fanny and then had her legs pulled right out of the sockets. Hideous!!!

Pregnancy is so much harder than parenthood in my experience. You’ve got this. You’re almost there 💪

You are on the home straight - hang on in there ........ xx

Just the mental load of pregnancy after miscarriage is such a fucking relentless heavy burden to carry alongside the constant expectation that all feelings can be mitigated by the fact you’re actually pregnant so I sympathise absolutely.

My first pregnancy was horrific, I was swollen, I had GD, preeclampsia, was massive, immobile, at the edge of reason, physically I was absolutely fucked but the labour was ok and then I had my son in my arms and it did all melt away.

my daughter was the one after recurrent miscarriage and physically it was amazing - I was still walking miles and active with a toddler the day I went into labour with her but the crippling anxiety of worry after miscarriage was just so heavy to carry and like I say, the support was very limited because “I should be so lucky”.

pregnancy is shit but you’re nearly there and life for me with newborns is infinitely nicer than pregnancy. I’d do it again, honestly I would.

Wow such unbelievable stories from everyone here! I’m glad it’s not just me that finds it so so hard and horrendous. And I didn’t even have HG. I had extreme nausea and heaving up until about week 17 and that was enough to reduce me to tears frequently. I have one dc and have now had 2 MMC, during both I had the same nausea for weeks on end for seemingly no reason as the pregnancies had failed. The mental weight of this is crushing. I have a fear of sick too and just find the nausea so debilitating. Plucking up the courage to try again is so hard, knowing there is either a risk of loss or weeks of relentless nausea ahead. Throw in a side of anxiety and horrible thoughts creeping in e.g maybe my body knows I can’t cope / I’m not good enough to be a mum to more than one child etc etc … SO HARD

Everyone here is so amazing for getting through all of these issues. Pregnancy is not easy for everyone, for some it is relentless suffering and it feels very disappointing and unfair. Wishing you the best @elm26 you are SO close (I know it doesn’t feel like it arghhh)

ahh felt good to get that all off my chest!!

Yep i was sick all the way through my pregnancies!! Hopefully you will go into labour near your due date. My son came 2 weeks late so was nearly 42 weeks. My girls came at 36 weeks and the pregnancy seemed so much shorter even though i was huge!!

Just try to visualise your baby in your arms. You’ve been through so much to get here. You can do it!!

I feel for you OP. I absolutely love my kids and would want more but I just cannot be pregnant again, it was absolutely horrid. I found the baby stage way easier than being pregnant.

I feel for you. It sounds like it has been an awful journey to get this far.

I had HG throughout, utterly exhausted and fainted at least once a week while trying to work. Vomited multiple times every single day. Couldn't keep water down. Lost lots of weight. Very painful towards the end.

Was put on a drip throughout a long labor (and every time I ended up in hospital).

When my child arrived, the sickness/nauseousness disappeared so quickly and I finally felt human again. It was incredible. I found the newborn age a breeze because for the first time in nine months I wasn't sick! Everyone was amazed. I suddenly had energy and felt like me again

I'm so sorry you're struggling. I had a horrendous first pregnancy, I was sick the whole time and in pain a lot, not to mention the issues with the actual babies.

I know you're not exactly in the mindset for it, but it doesn't last forever and once your daughter is here everything should resolve and you'll just have your beautiful girl.

Congratulations and fingers crossed everything goes smoothly and painlessly from now till the birth!